


Unwritten

by SuperUnexpectedGirl



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Minor Dorian Pavus/Male Trevelyan, Modern Girl in Thedas, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Reverse Modern Girl in Thedas, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-14 03:28:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 67,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperUnexpectedGirl/pseuds/SuperUnexpectedGirl
Summary: Cullen, trying to protect the Inquisitor, gets sucked into a rift and ends up on Earth. There’s no story to guide anyone here - Corypheus hasn’t even been defeated yet - how does he, and the people he meets, cope? How does the Inquisition cope without a Commander? Will he be able to return? Will he want to? A reverse-ish MGIT story - AU.Rated Explicit/Mature for future chapters.Disclaimer: I don't own the Dragon Age universe or characters obvs...





	1. Dream a little dream

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, I don't really know where this one is going, so I'm kind of just feeling my way here. My other fic, Triangle, is an MGIT one, and I was thinking how DA characters would adapt to being in a world with technology. What if they were able to take our knowledge back themselves to the Inquisition universe? Would they even want to return?
> 
> Anyway, I'm just writing it as I'm going although I have some further ahead chapters written, but I don't know how it ends yet. 
> 
> I'm also still writing my other fic, although I was a bit stuck which is how I ended up writing this one, so please do head over and give that one a read as well :) 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! Especially since this one is not canon compliant at all!

“Inquisitor! What are you waiting for? You need to close the rift now!” Cullen yelled. 

“I’m trying Commander!” Maxwell Trevelyan shouted over the hissing sound of the rift. He stood with hand outstretched, trying to use the mark to close the rift. “It’s stronger than usual, it’s not responding!” 

Cullen turned to look at Solas. “Solas can you help him?” They’d dispatched two waves of demons in the Hissing Wastes, but they were strong Pride Demons and the group had been hit hard. Cullen didn’t usually venture out with them, but with the Venatori gaining a possible stronghold in the region, he’d decided to accompany them to assess the situation. 

“I can try, but he’s right,” Solas replied tersely, “this rift is powerful and it’s taking its toll on him.” They both turned to look at Maxwell again who was struggling with the rift and grimacing in pain, the mark on his arm glowing brightly. Solas ran over to the Inquisitor and added his own power to the mark, giving Max an extra boost. The mark glowed even brighter, the light almost blinding and the rift seemed like it was finally going to respond. 

Unexpectedly the force seemed to reverse and it started pulling everything in the vicinity towards it. “What’s happening?” Max cried out as his feet started sliding across the sand. “It’s sucking us in!” 

“No!” Cullen ran towards them, the force of the rift pulling him faster than he expected. He positioned himself with his back to the rift, pushing at the Inquisitor to keep him from being dragged towards the rift. It seemed to be working, but the force was still so strong Cullen could feel it almost lifting him off the ground, even in his heavy armour. He closed his eyes and looked at Solas, who was still trying to boost the power of the mark. They locked eyes and Cullen nodded once at him. “Take care of him,” he said, giving the Inquisitor one last push away from the rift as he let go. 

“Cullen, what are you…? Cullen no!” Max cried as the Commander was pulled towards the rift, disappearing through it moments later. 

The rift closed with a clap, leaving nothing but green smoke that dissipated, leaving no indication there had ever been anything there. 

________________

Cullen drifted, his mind blank. He was vaguely aware that he was no longer in Thedas, but this didn’t feel like he’d expected the Fade to feel. It was less solid, more like a… tunnel, perhaps? This felt more like a dream to the Commander. He struggled to remember what he had been doing before this but the thoughts kept slipping away. He remembered… a rift… but… then what?

He became aware of a voice. It sounded very far away, like he was hearing it through water, slightly muffled. The harder he listened however, the clearer it seemed to become as he tried to make out the words.  
_Stars shining bright above you_  
_Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"_  
_Birds singing in the sycamore trees_  
_Dream a little dream of me_

Cullen tried to move towards the voice and his body, although he couldn’t feel it per se, seemed to move in the right direction. It became louder and he could make out the words more clearly. It was a woman’s voice singing.  
_Say nighty-night and kiss me_  
_Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me_  
_While I'm alone and blue as can be_  
_Dream a little dream of me_

It was unlike anything he had ever heard, but it was quite beautiful. He began to become more aware of his surroundings, which while not distinct, seemed to be taking on a more physical form and he saw a green light, much like the rift. He instinctively went towards it, hoping that it might lead him back to Thedas. As he moved closer he felt his body being dragged towards the light, definitely a rift he could see now, and before he had a chance to think he was sucked through, landing painfully on the ground. 

He opened his eyes, gasping for air and looked around. He was definitely not somewhere he recognised. He sat up and tried to make sense of his surroundings. He appeared to be in a bedroom, but there were unfamiliar objects in the room that he could not fathom their meaning. 

With a start he realised he could still hear the voice singing, seemingly coming from nearby. Getting painfully to his feet he cautiously made his way out of the bedroom, attempting to walk quietly, following the sound of her voice.  
_Stars fading but I linger on dear_  
_Still craving your kiss_  
_I'm longing to linger till dawn dear_  
_Just saying this_

He poked his head around the corner to see the back of a woman standing cooking at… well, not a fire, but something. The food smelled delicious, and his stomach grumbled, alerting him to how hungry he was.  
_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you_  
_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you_  
_But in your dreams whatever they be_  
_Dream a little dream of me_

He stood and watched her for a moment, trying to figure out how to alert her to his presence. She had dark hair, cropped short from what he could see. She was wearing a sleeveless vest type shirt and her pale, slim legs stuck out of a pair of… short trousers? Her arms and legs were both decorated with unusual drawings, tattoos he assumed although they were unlike any tattoos he was familiar with. Her voice was low and husky, and though she sometimes sounded a little off key, it was pleasing to listen to.  
_Stars fading but I linger on dear_  
_Still craving your kiss..._

He cleared his throat. “Excuse me,” he began. 

She spun around. “What the fuck?!” she shouted, grabbing an empty frying pan. “Who the fuck are you?” 

Cullen held up his hands in supplication. “Easy there, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“How the fuck did you get into my house?” she yelled at him, taking a step towards him threateningly and raising her frying pan.

“Uh, to be honest, I don’t rightfully know…” he said apologetically. “Would you mind putting that down?”

“Not until you tell me who the fuck you are!” she said taking another step towards him. 

He took a step back away from her. She was small enough that he could definitely have overpowered her, but he had no interest in hurting her. That said, he still didn’t want to be hit with a frying pan. “Alright, alright…” he said, hands still up placatingly. “My name is Cullen Rutherford…”

She laughed harshly. “Yeah right, really, who are you?” she said taking note of his appearance properly for the first time. “Coming in here cosplaying a Dragon Age character isn’t funny dude. Tell me your real fucking name and why you’re in here…” 

Cullen was confused. “I.... don’t understand most of what you just said… But that is my real name…” He lowered his hands slowly, hoping she might see him as less threatening. “I’m honestly not entirely sure where I am or how I ended up here, sorry, I know that’s not very satisfactory....” He paused. “I have memories of… a rift? And then hearing you singing and now I’m here?” He shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry you don’t believe me, but I really have no other explanation. Uh, would you mind putting that down so we can talk?” he said gesturing to the frying pan.

She looked at him suspiciously for a few more moments then slowly lowered the frying pan although she didn’t relinquish her hold on it. “Sit,” she ordered, pointing to some sort of soft looking long arm chair behind him. 

Keeping an eye on her he lowered himself onto the chair, realising as he did that his sword was in the way. He stood up again to remove the scabbard from his belt and she started and raised the frying pan again. 

“Easy, easy,” he said. “I’m just removing my sword so I can sit comfortably.” He slowly unbuckled his sword belt and placed it flat on the ground before seating himself again. 

“You have a sword,” she stated, looking confused. 

Now it was Cullen’s turn to look confused. He looked at his sword sitting on the ground. “I do…” he replied. “Is that strange?”

“It looks real.”

“It is?” His brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, is there something unusual about that?” 

“Uh, yeah,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “People don’t use swords anymore because this isn’t the fucking Middle Ages...”

“I… don’t know what that means,” Cullen replied. “What are the Middle Ages?”

She looked at him suspiciously. “You’re quite serious aren’t you?” 

“Um… yes?” he said, thinking this woman was very strange. She also used a great deal of profanity which shocked him a little. In his experience, not many people spoke like that. He was beginning to feel quite anxious, especially as she was treating him like he was lying about everything, and he was feeling out of his depth - unusual for the Commander of the Inquisition. 

She glared at him for a few moments. “Stay there,” she ordered. “I need to make a call.” 

He nodded, wondering to himself what she meant - it seemed like a strange way to say she was calling someone else - but decided to keep the questions to himself. She walked into the next room and returned a few moments later holding a strange, thin object to her ear. She appeared to be waiting for something. 

“Hey Adam, how are you?” she suddenly asked. 

Cullen looked around. There was no one else in the room. He opened his mouth to respond to her when she glared at him and began talking again. 

“Yeah, so, um… can you come over? I have a bit of a weird situation, and I don’t know who else to talk to about it?” 

Cullen was very confused. She appeared to be talking into the object, but he couldn’t hear it responding and every time he opened his mouth to speak she held up her hand to cut him off. 

“There’s this guy in my house claiming he’s Cullen Rutherford. Yes. I know right? Yeah from Dragon Age. No, it’s crazy, but he seems quite certain and… I don’t know what to do…” She glanced at him and turned away, lowering her voice slightly. “I’m wondering if I need to… call someone, you know?” She nodded to herself. “Cool, so you’ll come? Ok great, I’ll see you now. K thanks, bye.” 

She sat down on the chair opposite him, the frying pan still close at hand, and put the object down on the table. Cullen looked at it curiously. “Why were you talking into that?” he asked. 

She looked at him suspiciously again. “You’re joking right?” 

He shook his head awkwardly. “Afraid not…” he replied. “What is that?”

“It’s… a phone.” She was getting more confused by the minute. Who had never heard of a cell phone before? “You use it to communicate with people when they’re far away…” 

“Huh… fascinating…” he said, staring at it. “How does it work?” 

“Um, well, I mean I don’t know the specifics. Each phone has a unique number and you press buttons and dial the number of someone else’s phone to connect them. Your voices travel over… um, radio waves if I remember correctly…” She glanced at him. His face was blank and she was clearly speaking gibberish to him. “Nevermind…” she sighed. 

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, both quietly studying the other while trying not to stare outright. 

“Would you, um… like something to drink?” she asked finally. 

“Oh, uh, yes thank you,” Cullen responded. “I am quite thirsty.”

She got up and walked into the kitchen, returning with a glass of water which she placed on the table in front of him. Cullen removed his gloves, placing them on the arm of the chair as he reached for the water. He took a tentative sip and was surprised by the taste and the way the water looked. Water in his experience tended to taste a bit like minerals from whatever river it had been taken from, often with particles floating in it. This water looked and tasted clean. It was delicious. 

“Is something wrong?” she asked. “It’s only tap water, sorry, I don’t really drink bottled water.”

“It’s so… clean,” he said, surprised. 

“Well I mean, it’s been filtered and treated and stuff…” she asked. “You can drink the tap water here you know…”

He nodded, not trusting himself to say anything she wouldn’t treat with suspicion. He had no idea what she was talking about.

A few minutes later a noise sounded throughout the house, causing Cullen to jump slightly. It sounded like some sort of strange bell ringing. 

“Stay there,” she said, “I’m just letting my friend inside.”

She walked out of the room and he heard a door opening and closing, and a male voice talking to her. Their voices were hushed but he could hear enough to know they were discussing him. She walked back into the room followed by a young, dark haired man who looked like he had never done any manual labour or picked up a sword in his life. Cullen wondered if he was a scholar of some sort. The man stopped short as he entered the room, his face a mask of surprise. 

“Well he certainly does look the part,” he smirked, looking at the woman, a small grin tugging at the side of his mouth. “Hello,” he said, addressing Cullen. 

“Hello,” Cullen replied, inclining his head slightly in a small bow. 

“I’m Adam,” the man said, glancing at his friend again. 

“Cullen,” he responded. 

“Riiiight, ok,” Adam said skeptically. 

An awkward silence settled over the room. 

“So, um, where did you say you were from?” asked Adam. “Jane didn’t say…”

So that was the woman’s name, thought Cullen. Jane. “I’m originally from Honnleath,” Cullen replied. 

Adam’s eyebrows raised. “And that is…” 

“Fereldan,” he said, confused. 

Adam burst out laughing. “Well, ok…” he said. “Jane can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?” 

She nodded and they walked out of the room, leaving Cullen sitting on the couch. Again, he could hear them whispering to each other in the other room. He looked around the room now he was alone. There was a large, strange, black rectangle affixed to one wall with some equally odd black boxes on a table underneath it. A large, low, marble table sat in the centre of the room with her black, talking thing on it, as well as a couple of other strange looking objects he couldn’t even begin to fathom their use. 

Cullen sighed, realising he felt quite warm. He still had his fur mantle and armour on. Figuring she clearly didn’t have any kind of actual weapon if she was planning on attacking him with a frying pan, he decided to remove his armour. It wasn’t very comfortable while he was sitting on this chair. Jane and Adam were still talking in hushed whispers in the kitchen, so he stood up and removed his mantle and the armour, placing it next to his sword on the ground. He wore only a white linen shirt underneath, but it was definitely hotter here than it had been when he’d donned his armour, and the relief of removing everything was immediate. 

He was standing, his back to the kitchen, stretching the kinks out of his back when he heard them re-enter the room and a collective gasp. He turned to see them both staring at him. Jane immediately turned bright red and Adam looked a little flustered. He turned to face them and was struck by how tall he was in comparison to both of them. Cullen knew he was tall, but he’d never thought he was particularly so in comparison to many people he knew. 

“Oh, um… you’ve removed your armour,” Jane said awkwardly. 

“Yes, it’s quite a bit hotter than… where I was before…” Cullen replied, his hand awkwardly going to the back of his neck. “I also decided that if you were actually going to attack me, you would have done so already, so I’m fairly certain I’m safe without the armour.” 

Adam leaned over and whispered to Jane, but Cullen thought he heard him say, “He did the neck thing…” He dropped his hand to his side self-consciously.

She grinned suddenly. “Right then... Let’s assume you’re actually Cullen Rutherford for a second,” she said. “Tell us what happened and then we’ll discuss where you are.” 

“I’m going to need coffee for this conversation,” Adam said, rolling his eyes. “Do you want?” 

Jane nodded and they both looked expectantly at Cullen. “Oh… uh, yes?” he responded. Adam left the room and Cullen could hear a strange hissing sound coming from the kitchen moments later. He sat back down on the chair and rubbed his palms on his knees nervously. 

“So, um, I never actually introduced myself,” she said. “I’m Jane.” 

“I heard your friend call you that. It’s nice to meet you officially however,” he said, smiling crookedly. Jane noticed that his lip was actually scarred on one side. 

They sat awkwardly for a couple more minutes until Adam re-entered carrying a tray with three mugs. He placed them on the table and then returned with milk and sugar. “I wasn’t sure how you take it, so I brought milk and sugar,” he said gesturing.

Cullen nodded. He’d never really had his coffee anything other than black as most of the time if he was out in the field there wasn’t another option. 

Jane seemed to notice his uncertainty. “Have you tried it with milk or sugar before?” she asked. 

Cullen reddened. “Uh, no, not really,” he said. 

“Why don’t you try a bit of milk first,” she said, getting up to pour some in his mug, “and if it’s too bitter and you want it a bit sweeter you can tell me.” 

He nodded, accepting the mug of coffee from her. He took a tentative sip and decided he liked milk in his coffee after all. He didn’t feel the need to add sugar.

“So how about you tell us what you remember?” she said. “Or how you got here, or whatever.” She looked over at Adam. “He definitely wasn’t in there last night, he literally walked out of the spare bedroom into my kitchen this morning.” 

Cullen nodded. “I can tell you everything, but I’m not sure it will make much sense?” he said. “It doesn’t make much sense to me to be honest.” 

Jane laughed. “You’d be surprised,” she replied. “Just tell us as if we know everything and we’ll do the follow up questions afterwards alright?”

“Well, we were in the Hissing Wastes, and encountered a rift. There were a number of Pride Demons. This rift was particularly strong and was pulling everything in the vicinity towards it. I was pulled in,” he said. “No, wait… I stopped the Inquisitor being pulled in. They needed him more than they needed me so, I let go,” he said softly. “I remember… floating? And I heard singing. I guess I followed it and then I ended up here.” He looked directly at Jane. “It was your singing I heard, so I don’t know how that happened really… but it was definitely your voice and the song I heard.” 

Adam and Jane exchanged glances. “You never travel with the Inquisitor though…” Adam said skeptically. 

“You’re right, I don’t” Cullen said carefully, “How did you…?” He shook his head, wondering how these strangers knew this, but decided to raise that later. “But the Venatori presence in the Hissing Wastes is substantial so I decided to go and assess the situation.” 

Jane looked thoughtful. “So in theory…” she glanced at her friend, “provided we assume his story is real, he could have been sucked into the rift and traveled here…” 

“Where is here exactly?” Cullen asked. “I must admit, I’m quite confused by… many things here. Your accents and clothing, how you know so much about me, the strange devices in this room...” he said looking around him. 

They exchanged glances and Jane looked questioningly at Adam. He shrugged. “Might as well show him,” he said. “It can’t be weirder than Pride Demons and people with magical, glowing marks on their hands…” 

Jane laughed softly. “I guess. Well firstly, here is called Earth. You’re a long way from Thedas…” she said. 

“Earth,” Cullen said softly. “I’m not even anywhere in my world?” He took a shaky breath. His heart was pounding uncomfortably, even though this was what he had suspected. 

“We don’t have magic like you do, but our technology is far more advanced than anything you’re used to.” She paused. It’s why I was so shocked when I saw your sword,” she said. “Our society hasn’t used swords in… oh, I dunno, like two hundred years or something?”

“You have a sword?” Adam asked, grinning. “Can I see it?” 

Cullen leaned down and picked up his sword lying on the ground next to him, drawing it out of the scabbard. Adam and Jane immediately leaned back away from it. 

“Oh wow, yes ok that’s a real sword…” Adam said nervously. “Cool, you can put it away, I was just curious…” 

Cullen slid his sword back into the scabbard and returned it to the floor. “Do you not engage in warfare?” he asked curiously. “Is your society peaceful?” 

Jane burst out laughing and Adam grinned. “Oh no, we still kill each other,” she said wryly. “We just use different weapons to do so. Humans are the same everywhere I suspect, no matter which world they’re from.” She shook her head sadly. “I wish I could say otherwise.”

Cullen was silent for a moment. “I think my most pressing question is how you know who I am? I’m not quite clear on that point…” he looked at them pointedly. 

Jane looked uncomfortable. “Oh… uh, well you see… in our world, we know you through a story. Which is why I thought you were joking when you said your name. It’s a story I’ve… heard… many times…” she said apologetically. 

“A story?” Cullen asked, frowning. “Like, a work of fiction?”

“Uh, well, yes it was presented to people like that… but I guess, well, you’re here so…” she trailed off awkwardly. 

Cullen was silent and then got to his feet. “I uh, need a minute…” he said, his voice strained. 

Jane nodded. “The door behind you, it leads to the garden.” 

He nodded and disappeared through it. Adam and Jane looked at each other. Adam grimaced. “Well, I think I might leave you to that…” he said. “I don’t think he’s any threat, just a bit shell shocked.” He shrugged. “I guess we’re just treating what he’s saying as truth? You don’t think he’s pretending? Or… uh, crazy,” he said. 

“Well he believes it anyway,” she said, “so it’s kind of a moot point right now isn’t it? I mean, who would I even call? Anyone is going to lock him up immediately if he tells them he’s a fictional figure and starts waving a sword around...”

He nodded. “Call me if you need me,” he said, giving her a hug and leaving. 

Now left alone, Jane sat back down on the couch. What the fuck was she going to do with this guy?


	2. Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well Cullen can't wander around in armour all the time can he? Jane introduces Cullen to the modern world.

Cullen stood outside in the garden. It appeared to be just before midday, the sun was high in the sky but still climbing. The air smelled different here although he couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. 

The more he thought about everything they’d told him, the more panicky he became. He tried to calm himself by taking deep breaths but his mind wouldn’t stop turning in circles. How did he get here? Where was here? How far was it from Thedas? How was his life a story they had heard before? How was he going to get back? Would he be able to get back? How was the Inquisitor going to defeat Corypheus? 

He sat down on a chair in the garden and leaned down, his head down between his knees. He felt like he might faint. He was clammy, and his shirt stuck to his back and not from the heat though it was certainly hotter here than it was in Skyhold. 

He heard a noise and looked up to see Jane coming outside. She sat down on the grass by his feet. “Are you ok?” she asked quietly. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not really…” he replied. “I don’t even really know where to start. I’ve never felt this out of my depth in my entire life.” 

She patted his knee sympathetically, giving it a squeeze before removing it and he was a bit surprised and then ashamed that he could still feel the touch of her hand lingering when she removed it. He shouldn’t be thinking about that he told himself, he needed to find a way home. 

“We’ll figure it out, one way or another, but I don’t know much that can’t be fixed by a burger and some alcohol,” she grinned, getting up from the ground. “Even if it’s just to get shitfaced and forget your problems for a while.” 

“What’s a… burger?” he asked, a look of confusion on his face. 

“Oh my god, of course you’ve never had a burger before! Well we’ll need to rectify that.” She looked him up and down critically. “I’d like to have a shower and change first before we go anywhere. Would you like to shower?”

“Uh, I don’t know what a shower is either...” he said, blushing and feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

“Oh of course… it’s a way to get clean,” she said. “Like a bath, but you stand and the water sprays on you.” She grinned. “Come, I’ll show you.”

She led him into the bathroom and showed him how to work the shower, the toilet and where the soap and towels were. She searched in the cupboard and found a spare toothbrush which she had to explain how to use, but he soon had everything he needed. Before she left, she looked at his clothes. “Hmm,” she said. “Sorry to ask this, but do you have any money?” 

“Actually yes I do,” he said, reaching for his belt and pulling out a pouch. He handed it to her and she looked inside. 

“Gold coins… of course,” she muttered to herself, a soft laugh escaping her lips. 

“Is something wrong?” he asked, his forehead creasing in concern. 

She smiled at him and patted his arm. “No, it’s not the currency we use, but we’ll make a plan,” she replied. “It’s not ideal, but get dressed back into these clothes when you’re done, we’ll go out and buy you something… less conspicuous before we go and eat ok?” 

“Less conspicuous?” he asked looking down at his clothes. He was wearing leather breeches, a white shirt and boots, nothing particularly unusual.

Jane laughed. “You’ll see,” she grinned. “Now. Shower, get clean and then we’ll go out. I’m also going to go shower, I have another bathroom. I’ll see you soon,” she smiled, closing the bathroom door behind her, leaving Cullen feeling bewildered but pleased at the thought of getting clean. 

It took a couple of false starts even after she’d showed him how the taps worked, but he managed to shower. The feel of the hot water on his shoulders was blissful and he stood for a few minutes relishing how it eased the tension in his muscles. She’d explained how the shampoo and conditioner were to be used as well, and he was pleasantly surprised to find the difference it made to his hair rather than using soap, even if he usually used one that wasn’t as harsh as the soap he used on his body. 

He got out of the shower, dried and redressed in his clothes. As he left the bathroom he could hear her singing to herself again and he wondered if this was a regular occurrence, smiling at the thought. She sounded as if she was still in another room so he sat down on the same chair from earlier and waited. 

She reappeared a few minutes later in fresh clothes, long, tight blue trousers of a material he’d never seen before and a tight shirt of some soft material. She wore strange shoes on her feet that he couldn’t figure out if they were boots or high slippers of some sort. Her face looked quite different to earlier. It was more… enhanced somehow - different to the makeup he usually saw women wear. He was obviously staring as she laughed at him and commented, “Have you never seen a woman wear makeup before?” 

He blushed. “Oh, no, um, I have… I just didn’t expect… sorry...” he stammered as he rubbed the back of his neck.

She grinned, amused that he actually did the neck thing when he was embarrassed. “Come on then,” she said grabbing her handbag. She walked to the door, collecting her keys from the hook on the wall, and stopped suddenly, realising she was about to take his man out into the world. He was right behind her and almost walked into her. She turned towards him, suddenly realising how close he was. Cullen, realising it at the same time, took a quick step backwards. “Look, Cullen… um, I do need to warn you that there will be a lot you might not understand when we leave the house ok? Please don’t panic, I promise I’ll explain everything as best I can, but we need to get you looking a bit more… modern…” she said tactfully, “before we get food, and then we can talk, alright?” she said.

Cullen nodded. “Alright,” he said. “I have a number of questions… but I’ll try hold them until later.” 

“Good,” she smiled, turning back towards the door. “Well you’re about to have your first one. We’re going for a drive,” she grinned. 

Jane led the way to the car, a shiny SUV she’d purchased about six months prior. He looked at it with trepidation. “It’s called a car,” she said. “We use it to get from place to place. It’s kind of like a carriage but we don’t use horses to pull it, it powers itself.” She unlocked it and opened the door for him. He stood and looked at her.

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked. 

“Oh. Get inside and sit down,” she said, gesturing. 

Cullen climbed into the seat, feeling awkward at how close everything was in the cabin of the car. Jane climbed into the seat next to him, sitting behind a circular wheel that he guessed was used to move the car around somehow. She started pulling at some kind of flat rope and said to him, “You’ll need to put this on,” as she gestured to one like her own next to his chair. She showed him how to attach it, and then pressed a button and the car roared beneath him. 

Cullen jumped at the noise. “What’s going on?” he asked cautiously. 

She smiled at him again. “This is how the car moves, an engine propels it forward by burning fuel. I don’t know the specifics of exactly how it works, but that’s the basic idea.” 

Cullen sat anxiously in the chair, unsure what to expect. His hands unconsciously gripped the sides of the chair tightly. Suddenly the car began to move and he looked over to see Jane working some pedals on the floor of the vehicle and guiding it with the wheel. She pushed down on the pedal and the car started to go faster, alarming Cullen and causing his heart to pound uncomfortably in his chest, but she didn’t seem scared in any way so he swallowed hard and kept his fear under control. 

As they pulled away from the house, he finally gathered up the courage to look out of the window next to him and his mouth dropped open in shock at what he saw. The thing she called a car was joined by what seemed like hundreds of them, all moving around on a hard, grey stone material. Building were shiny and tall. The noises and the smells were… larger than life. 

Jane looked over at Cullen, noticing how white his knuckles were as he gripped the chair. He looked like he was keeping his fear at bay, but barely. She reached over and patted his hand. “It’s ok, we aren’t going far, we’ll get out of the car soon,” she said to him encouragingly. 

He nodded tensely, not trusting himself to speak. Maker, what was it going to be like when they got out of the car? She told the truth however, and less than five minutes later - he couldn’t quite believe the speed they were travelling at - they arrived at their destination; a massive structure made of glass and stone, housing hundreds of cars, most of them seemingly empty. “Where are we?” he asked, his voice coming out hoarsely. 

“We’re at what’s called a shopping mall,” she said. “It’s a place where we can find many different stores… uh, merchants… all together under one roof. I thought it would be the best place to get you some new clothes and something to eat.” 

She stopped the car between some lines drawn on the ground and got out of the car. He realised he didn’t know how to undo the harness, but she came around to his side and opened the door for him, showing him to press the button to release it. He got out of the car and froze. There were so many cars, and he didn’t know if he could safely navigate his way through them. Everything seemed so big and loud here. The unfamiliarity with everything was paralysing. 

Jane watched him struggle to control his fear for a moment, then reached out and took his hand gently. “Hold my hand,” she said. “I know where I’m going and you can just follow me, ok?” 

Cullen nodded gratefully, keeping a hold of her hand as they made their way through the cars towards some large doors as the other end of the structure. As they entered the building, his ears were assaulted by noise. There were so many people and the hum of not only the background conversations, but of alien music blasting from all the store entrances meant that had he not been holding Jane’s hand, he probably would have curled into a ball to avoid it all. 

She squeezed his hand gently. “Don’t worry, just keep walking and focus on me. I’m going to take you to a store where we can try and get everything all in one go alright? Then you won’t have to go through the experience too many times in one day hopefully.” She guided him through the crowds of people, and towards a large department store. Walking into the men's section, Cullen still clutching her hand, she thought about what she would need to buy him. They could always come back once she’d figured out how she was going to exchange his gold coins, but she needed to buy him the basics for the time being. 

She made her way towards the denim section, figuring he’d be best served by a couple of pairs of jeans and a pair of shorts to start. It was summer and he would definitely need the latter. Looking at him she tried to guess his size. He was tall, with broad shoulders and although she could see he was muscular by the way his clothes fit him, he had narrow hips - the kind of physique most men wished they had, she thought as she smiled to herself.

“You’re going to have to try some of these on,” she said. “To make sure we buy the right size.” She took a couple of different sizes of a slim fit pair of jeans and threw them over her shoulder. Cullen’s tight grip on her hand was getting difficult to navigate while searching for clothes. “Um, Cullen?” she said. 

“Hmm?” he answered, turning towards her from where he’d been staring around the store. 

“I’m going to have to let go of your hand, ok?” she said. “Just while I get everything you need. Just stick close to me though and you’ll be fine.” 

He nodded and let go, and she felt momentary disappointment. She rolled her eyes internally. What a cliche she thought. The girl getting all flustered over the handsome templar. Don’t be stupid she told herself. This isn’t the time. 

Jane threw another couple of pairs of jeans over her arm, then moved towards the shirts. She picked up a pack of plain, v-neck t-shirts and a button up shirt, again guessing at his size. “Let’s try these on first,” she said, “and then we can get underwear, shoes and socks.” She led the way to the changing room. Handing the items to him, she instructed him to try them on and keep aside the ones that fit the best. “I’ll wait here ok?” she said as he looked at her anxiously. The attendant gave him a small plastic card with a number on it, and then gestured towards a cubicle. He went inside and tried on the clothing as instructed, fumbling a bit with the unfamiliar fastenings, but eventually he figured it out. 

“Uh, Jane?” he said, poking his head out of the curtain. They were there during the week and the changing room was empty. 

“Yes Cullen?” she called from around the corner. 

“Um, can you come take a look?” he asked sheepishly. He wasn’t sure what to make of this outfit although he quite liked how it looked in the mirror, plus it was comfortable. 

The attendant looked at her and nodded, rolling his eyes. She winked at him and smiled. 

Walking into the changing area she saw Cullen standing barefoot, his back to her, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Her heart did a little flip flop. Wow… this man was even more gorgeous in modern clothes than in his armour. The shirt showed off his muscles nicely without being too tight or revealing, and the jeans clung to him in all the right places. He turned to look at her and she realised she’d been staring. She flushed slightly. 

“Much better!” she grinned, trying to cover her awkwardness. “What size is that? Does it fit better than the other ones?” 

After figuring out the sizes, Cullen changed back into his existing clothes and then she led him to get a pack of underwear and some socks. 

“Right, now shoes!” she said, making her way to the shoe section. Together with the attendant they figured out his size and she added a pair of sneakers to the pile. 

Jane headed to the till and paid for their purchases and, now holding Cullen’s hand once again, led him towards the public restrooms. She explained which door he needed to go into, handed him some of the bags with their purchases and instructed him to go inside and change. She waited outside, but when she finally saw him emerge, old clothes safely stowed in the bags, it was well worth it. He looked like a model as he walked out and she noticed a few heads turn as he walked towards her, smiling crookedly. 

She grinned. “You look great! Do you like the clothes?” she asked. 

“It’s… different,” he replied. “But surprisingly comfortable, and… yes, actually I do like them.” 

“Excellent!” she exclaimed, reaching for his hand again. “Now. Let’s eat!” 

_____________

Jane led the way to a burger restaurant, somewhere she knew had amazing food but wasn’t quite as busy as some of the other places in the mall. She figured Cullen might have had his share of the noise associated and this was a little more out of the way. 

For his part, Cullen was feeling slightly overwhelmed by everything, but having her there, guiding him through it, holding his hand although he was a little embarrassed to have to rely on her like that, was a huge help. She was an anchor in the chaos. And while he now understood why she’d said he shouldn’t wear his armour and his sword when they left the house, he felt naked without them. 

They slid into a booth towards the back, out of the way. A waitress approached them and Jane noticed her add a little sway to her hips as she noticed Cullen. Jane smiled to herself - she suspected this was going to happen a lot. 

“Hi guys,” she said cheerfully, “My name’s Candice and I’ll be your waitress today. Here you go,” she added, handing them some menus. “Can I get you anything to drink in the meantime?”

“I’ll have a cider thanks,” Jane said. She looked at Cullen. “Beer?” 

He shrugged. He didn’t really know what anything here would taste like so it was as good a choice as any.

“A Heineken please,” Jane smiled at the waitress. 

“Sure thing, I’ll bring those for you now,” she replied, glancing at Cullen again. 

“Take a look at the menu and see if anything sounds good,” Jane said as she opened it. All the food here was good, but she had a taste for a mushroom burger. She glanced up to find Cullen looking at the menu in confusion. “What’s wrong?” she asked him. 

“Um, I can’t read the menu,” he mumbled. 

Jane looked at it in confusion. It was in English, and he spoke English. She considered for a moment. “What language am I speaking?” she asked him. 

“Common,” he replied immediately. 

“Is your written language and your spoken language the same?” she asked.

“Not really,” he replied, understanding dawning on his face. 

“Ours is,” she said. “We’re speaking a language called English, which seems like it’s the same as Common where you’re from. Our written language is the same however.” She frowned. This presented a bit of a problem, but she’d give it some thought. “Ok, well until we figure something out, let me explain the menu to you.” 

Jane leaned over, explaining what a burger was and the contents of the menu. Eventually Cullen made a decision although he looked quite dubious but decided to trust her recommendation. The waitress returned with their drinks and took their orders and they settled in to wait for the food. 

“So,” Jane said. “I’m sure this is all quite overwhelming.” 

Cullen nodded. “There are many things I don’t understand here. And everything is so loud. And busy. There are so many people.” He shook his head. “I suppose you get used to it, but I feel exhausted.”

Jane nodded sympathetically. “Yeah I suppose it would be a lot, but to be honest I can’t imagine existing in your world. Magic, war, elves. It’s something out of a novel for me, and I don’t know that I would cope. I don’t have many skills that would be useful in your world.” 

“What do you do here?” he asked. 

“Oh, I’m in advertising,” she said. “I make um, moving images to tell people to buy things.” She shrugged. “I suppose it sounds a little strange but I can show you later when we get home.” 

“Why are you not doing that now?” he asked curiously. 

She laughed. “I’m actually on holiday at the moment,” she said. “I had some leave days owing to me and I’d lose them if I didn’t take them so,” she glanced at him, “and you have no idea what that means do you?” She sighed. “Shit. I’m going to have to think of different ways to explain things. Anyway, I go back to work next week, so we have a few more days to figure things out with you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Well, I’m assuming you’d like to figure out how to get back to Thedas? If that’s even possible?” she asked. 

“Of course,” Cullen replied. “I mean, the Inquisitor… Corypheus…” He sighed. “Maker, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Oh, try not to say Maker while you’re here,” she said. “The Maker, the Chantry - we have something similar, but the terminology is different here and it will make you stand out.” 

“So who do you worship?” he asked, curious. 

“Well, I’m not religious myself, but the equivalent of Andrastianism is Christianity here. There are many religions though,” she replied shrugging. “Try replace Maker with God and you’ll blend right in,” she grinned. 

“God.” he said. “I’ll… try remember.” 

Their burgers arrived and although Cullen looked suspiciously at the fries that came on the side, one bite of the burger had him groaning in pleasure. “This is delicious!” he said around a mouthful of food. “Is all the food on your world so good?” 

Jane laughed. “Well not all of it, no, but there’s a big variety.”

The rest of their lunch passed pleasantly. The conversation surprisingly flowed, even if Jane had to stop and explain certain things every now and then, but by the time she paid and they left, he was clearly more relaxed even if the loudness of everything still made him a little anxious. Jane could see the tension melt off him as they walked through her front door and she was amused that he already considered her house a safe zone. 

She threw her keys down on the table next to the front door, dumped her bag on the floor and kicked off her shoes. She turned to see Cullen standing awkwardly in the living room. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked him. 

“I… don’t have anything to do,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a strange feeling. And I wouldn’t know how to even begin doing… anything here.” 

Jane smiled at him. “Well, normally I would just come home and play games or watch TV,” she shrugged. “But I’ve also just realised you don’t know what TV is.” 

She reached over and picked up a long, black rectangular object off the table. “Don’t freak out ok?” she said to him. She pointed it at the black glass rectangle on the wall. Immediately it lit up and sound started blaring from all around him. Moving images assaulted his senses and Cullen reeled back in shock. He resisted the urge to put his hands over his ears.

“What… what is it?” he asked. 

“It’s called a television,” she said. “It’s not magic, it’s technology. Moving pictures.” 

“So how do the pictures get inside?” he asked, getting up to take a closer look. 

“Uh, it’s complicated to explain when you don’t have a reference point…” she said. “But this is a news channel, so these are images of the real world here, not fiction.” 

“All of this is actually happening?” he asked incredulously. 

“Well not right this second,” she said looking at the screen. “But this happened today, they’re reporting on current affairs.” 

Cullen looked both fascinated and anxious by this revelation. “Wait, can you make the noise… less? I can’t think.” 

“Sure,” she said, turning the television down. The pictures continued and he stared at them in fascination. “Let me change the channel,” she said, pressing a button. The images switched to something that didn’t look at all like reality. “Oh, this is a cartoon channel,” she said. “These are drawings that people made move. So this is not real at all, it’s made by a group of artists.”

Cullen continued to watch in fascination. 

“Would you like to watch a movie?” she asked. “It’s like a story told in moving pictures.”

“Yes?” Cullen said hesitantly. 

“Cool, I’ll find something on Netflix,” she said, leaning over and picking up her Playstation remote. 

“Cool?” he asked in confusion.

“Oh it means… like… good?” she said, sitting down on the couch. She patted the seat next to her and Cullen lowered himself down hesitantly, conscious of how close to her he was. He shifted uncomfortably, but she didn’t seem to notice. 

Jane pressed a whole lot of buttons on this new device but Cullen couldn’t follow what she was doing. She browsed through the catalogue and chose a movie she’d seen before but which she thought Cullen might like. Settling back on the couch, she made herself comfortable, but also also watched him with half an eye. If he really was pretending to be Cullen Rutherford, he was doing a damn good job, she thought to herself. He displayed what appeared to be genuine surprise and confusion at modern technology, and she felt like she had no choice but to believe him, no matter if his story seemed completely implausible. 

Cullen’s interest and appetite for movies and series appeared insatiable. Two movies, a couple of episodes of a series, two cups of coffee and some popcorn later, Jane’s eyes started to drift closed. The light had long since faded and although she’d switched on some lights in the house, she kept the lights in the living room off to enhance the movie experience. It had also started to get a little chilly, so she’d fetched blankets for both of them. 

She woke up a couple of hours later, looked over to find Cullen also asleep with his head on the arm of the couch. She switched off the TV and stumbled to bed, wondering vaguely to herself if she would awaken the next morning to find this was all some sort of strange dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments etc always appreciated. As I said, I'm just kind of going with it right now.


	3. Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen meets Jane's friends.

The sun woke Jane as it streamed through her open curtains, hitting her face and causing her to pull the blankets over her head. Ug, why hadn’t she remembered to close them? She’d fallen asleep on the couch with Cullen… Cullen! The events of the previous day came flooding back and she sat up quickly. Where was he? Was that something that had actually happened? 

She jumped out of bed and hurried through to the living room to check this definitely wasn’t some sort of weird dream. Sure enough, his tall frame was stretched out on her couch, the blanket covering him from the waist down. He’d removed his clothes at some point during the night - she was fairly certain he was still wearing them when she went to bed - and they hung over the side of the chair, leaving his chest bare. She took a guilty moment to appreciate how ripped he was. He stirred and she turned away to make coffee before he caught her staring at him. A video game representation did not do him justice she decided - he was much better looking in person. 

She switched the kettle on and started boiling it to make coffee. She pulled out two cups, trying to do so quietly and not wake the sleeping templar in the next room. Former templar she corrected herself mentally. Wait, did that even really apply here? A templar on Earth was a completely different thing to on Thedas. What the actual fuck, she thought to herself, I’m actually having this conversation with myself. Fucking arguing about the definition of a templar… 

She heard a noise behind her and turned to see Cullen walking into the kitchen. Thankfully he had put yesterday’s clothes back on, although he was barefoot. Jane didn’t think she would have been able to manage if he’d walked in without a shirt! 

“Good morning,” he said shyly. He rubbed the back of his neck and Jane realised he was feeling self conscious. She supposed that waking up in a situation like this wasn’t something Cullen was used to. 

“Morning,” she smiled. “I hope I didn’t wake you, I was just making coffee. And I realised I need to apologise - I never intended for you to sleep on the couch!”

He immediately blushed, “Uh, what?” he said. 

She laughed. “Oh, no, I meant I have a spare bedroom. I actually figured you could sleep there, but I kind of stumbled to bed last night and you were already asleep on the couch so I didn’t want to wake you.” She gestured towards the living room. “It’s only when I saw you sleeping there this morning I thought about how it might have been uncomfortable. You’re quite tall and I don’t know if that was the best idea.” 

“It was fine, thank you,” he smiled, his cheeks still red. “Although I might take you up on the offer of the bed going forward.” 

She poured their coffee and handing him a cup, made her way into the living room to sit down. He sat down next to her as she drew her feet up underneath her. “I have some things I need to do today,” she said looking at Cullen who was blowing on his coffee carefully so as not to burn his mouth, “so I have to go out, but I shouldn’t be more than an hour or so. You can watch TV or something while I’m out?” 

“Of course, no problem,” he replied. “And, uh, I just wanted to say,” he began awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck again, “well, that you didn’t need to do all of this, I’m very grateful for the way you… for everything you’ve… Maker…” he said as she laughed. 

“You’re trying to say thank you? It’s not a problem Cullen, you’re welcome.” Jane shrugged. “And I’ll do my best to figure out how to get you home, if I can, ok?”

He smiled at her crookedly, and her heart did a little flip flop. To cover how flustered she felt she sipped her coffee and yelped as she burned her tongue. “Shit that’s hot!” she gasped.

He laughed and she mock glared at him and rolling her eyes. The mood was relaxed as they finished their coffee and she went to go shower and change. Re-emerging from her bedroom she showed Cullen where he could find food if he was hungry, where to find the books if he wanted to look through the ones with pictures since he couldn’t read the actual language, and she switched the TV on to a news channel. It might be complicated to show him how to flip through the channels right now, but this seemed like an easy place to start. 

Jane left Cullen alone and went out, taking his bag of coins with her. She wasn’t entirely sure where she could go to exchange them, so she’d Googled it and come up with a couple of places that bought gold. She hoped they weren’t too dodgy, but driving up to the first one on her list she was pleased to see that it, at least on the surface and by the online reviews, seemed to be above board. 

She didn’t go in with the entire bag, preferring to sell a couple of his gold pieces at a time so as not to raise suspicion. She made up a story about inheriting them from a grandparent so she could be vague about where they came from and the guy behind the counter didn’t ask too many questions. He examined and weighed them to make sure they were real and told her what he could pay. It was more than she’d expected actually so she haggled half heartedly, getting slightly more, but otherwise accepting and pocketing what he gave her. 

She made an additional trip to a phone store and bought a pre-paid SIM card. She had an old phone at home she could loan him, and she figured it would be better for him to be able to contact her when she went back to work the following week.

She was on her way back to her car when her phone beeped. Pulling it out of her bag she looked down to see a WhatsApp from one of her closest friends. She felt a pang of guilt that she hadn’t told him about Cullen, but he really wasn’t a gamer and she knew Adam had been the right choice to tell first. She made a mental note to call him and update him on the Cullen situation. 

**Isaac**  
Bebe :) I havent seen you in foreeeeeeeever. Why are you blue ticking me? Drinks tonight?

**Jane**  
Sorry! A friend arrived unexpectedly yesterday and I lost focus. Sounds good. Where/when?

**Isaac**  
Ooooooo! What kind of friend? And Streetbar? 7pm? Have invited others too.

**Jane**  
LOL. Just a friend. I’ll bring him. See you then! X

She put her phone down and started the car. She daydreamed a little as she drove home, wondering if she would be able to find a way for Cullen to get home. She wouldn’t even know where to begin - it’s not like she could go and consult a mage or something. Maybe she could check online and see if there were any weather phenomena the night he arrived, but that seemed like something out of a bad scifi movie. Still, it was worth looking into she supposed. She didn’t have any better ideas.

Arriving home, she walked inside to find Cullen, freshly showered and dressed, sitting on the couch looking at a coffee table book on the Earth. 

“Discover anything?” she asked him, plopping down on the couch next to him. 

“Oh yes, some very interesting things,” he said flipping through the book. “Your world is huge. And amazing. I feel like my world is so… tiny in comparison,” he said softly. 

“You know, it’s probably not at all,” she said. “People only documented different parts of the world, my world I mean, because they explored further. There were people in all parts of it, but it’s only once everyone knows about everyone else does our concept of the known world begin to expand.” She shrugged. “Your world is probably much bigger than you think, but you’re only really aware of your continent, which is Thedas, correct?” 

He nodded. 

“Well, if you’re up for it, you’ll have a bit more of an opportunity to find out more about life here this evening. We’re going out for drinks with my friends.”

Cullen’s face took on a look of mild panic. He’d been out with her the day before but he hadn’t had to talk to anyone and he was all too aware that he didn’t always understand her colloquialisms. How much worse would it be with a whole group of people he didn’t know? 

She patted his arm. “Don’t worry, they’ll love you, and Adam should be there, so you’ll know the two of us. With your accent we’ll just tell them you’re British and the slang is different.” 

“What’s British?” he asked, his forehead creasing. 

“From Britain. It’s a country here. Don’t worry about it,” she smiled. “But your Fereldan accent sounds vaguely like that so they won’t know the difference. Oh! And I got you some money!” she said pulling it out of her handbag. “I haven’t changed everything, you might still need the coins at some point, but we can change money as we need it. I also got you a wallet and a SIM card for a phone, that’s the talking thing I was using yesterday, but I’ll show you how that works later,” she rambled, stopping suddenly as Cullen grabbed her hand. 

“Jane, I don’t understand half of what you’re talking about,” he said, “but thank you again. For thinking of these things. I would be lost without you.” His scarred lip quirked up into a smile. “More so than just lost between worlds…” 

Jane blushed. “Oh, um, yes of course,” she stammered. “I mean, I’m sure you would do it for me if the situation was reversed.” She was flustered and feeling the heat of his gaze on her. “Now, did you eat? I’m starving!”

______________

“Jane!” a voice called as they walked into the bar and she looked over to see an arm waving at her from the back. She grinned and waved back at her friends, weaving her way through the crowd towards them, Cullen at her heels. 

“Hiiiii!” she said, going around and hugging and greeting everyone. She noticed everyone staring behind her and turned to see them all looking admiringly at Cullen. “Oh, everyone, this is my friend Cullen,” she introduced. “Cullen, this is everyone. I’ll let you all introduce yourselves at some point.” He gave a half wave and shook hands with Adam, who greeted him with a grin. Cullen, now dressed in jeans, sneakers and a tshirt, definitely blended in more now than he did the first time he met him, Adam thought. 

“You want a drink?” he asked him quietly. “Beer?” 

“Please,” Cullen said, a look of relief on his face. He suspected he was going to need a little alcohol to get through this. Adam laughed at his expression and disappeared to the bar. 

Isaac pulled Jane onto his lap and jokingly gnawed on her neck, causing her to break into giggles. ‘Stop that!” she exclaimed smacking his arm. “It tickles!” 

“I can’t help it,” he grinned, “I haven’t seen your lovely neck in forever!” 

“Silly,” she said extricating herself from him and sitting down in the chair next to him. She waved Cullen over, who took a seat on her other side. Adam returned a few moments later with drinks, placing a beer in front of Cullen and a glass of red wine in front of Jane. “Oh you’re amazing, thank you!” she said grinning at him. He winked at her and slid back into his seat next to Isaac. 

“Hi, I’m Isaac,” a thin, attractive man with glasses and a shaved head said, reaching a hand over Jane towards Cullen. Cullen shook it, smiling and nodding politely. By the way they acted, he and Jane were clearly close and he didn’t want to inadvertently cause offence so he decided to try and say as little as possible for the time being. “So how did you meet Jane? You’re a new addition to our little group,” Isaac said, a little too casually for it to be casual conversation. 

Jane knew he was fishing for information and she also knew those close by were listening to the exchange as well. She didn’t often introduce new people to their group of friends, so that in itself was unusual enough, and she rarely introduced anyone she was dating unless it was somewhat serious, so she knew they all thought perhaps this was someone she was in a relationship with. It didn’t help the situation of course that Cullen was like, model attractive. 

“Oh, uh,” Cullen started, glancing at Jane, “well just around really, I think, I can’t quite remember. Was it at that burger place?” he asked her. 

“Mmm, yeah it might have been,” she said, playing along. She turned to look at Isaac. “You know the nice place at Lakeside Mall?” she asked him. She shrugged. “I dunno, but we’ve kind of just known each other casually for a while and become friendly.” She laughed. “I do have friends outside of you lot you know…” she chastised them. “Plus Adam’s met Cullen so it’s not like I’ve been keeping him a secret…” 

All heads swivelled to look at Adam who was sipping his wine. “Huh? What?” he said, hand poised half way to his mouth. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

“I said you also know Cullen,” she reiterated, throwing him a pointed look. 

“Oh. Yeah I do,” he said agreeing, finally taking that sip. “We met through Jane a while ago,” he said smiling at Cullen who grinned back, relieved. He sipped on his beer. It was quite good, he decided. He didn’t drink much for the most part but this seemed reasonable. 

Isaac was disappointed. He was hoping to catch them out and get her to reveal that she’d been secretly dating this good looking man. “And why are we only being introduced to him now?” he teased. 

Jane was prepared for the questions however and they’d come up with a backstory, although it was a little weak, she’d be the first to admit. “Cullen’s landlord was selling his place and he had to move out, so I said he could stay with me for a bit while he’s looking for a new one,” she said casually, shrugging. “Then there isn’t the pressure of having to rent a place he doesn’t like.” 

Now that was a surprise, thought Isaac. A foreign man none of them had ever met had moved in with her and she was almost too casual about it. Suspicious. “Sure, cool,” Isaac replied, his voice carefully neutral. He was sure there was something else going on, but he’d figure it out eventually, especially if this man was going to be around for a while. “Now,” he said, changing the subject. “Tequila?” 

“Ug, this early in the evening?” Jane groaned. “You know I’m not good with tequila!” 

“Did someone say tequila?” Adam asked, perking up. “I’m in!” 

“Can we at least get some food first?” Jane asked. “Before everything goes pear shaped.” 

Isaac turned and signalled to the waiter. “Can we get some menus?” he asked. “And a round of tequilas?” There was a collective cheer from the table at the mention of tequila. 

Jane groaned and accepted the menu. She leaned over to Cullen to ask him what he wanted but the look on his face just told her to order whatever she thought he would like. She placed her order for pizza with the waiter as the tequilas arrived. 

“First one for the new addition,” Isaac grinned, handing a tequila to Cullen. 

“Uh,” Cullen said, glancing at Jane. “I don’t know that I should…”

“Nonsense!” Isaac insisted. “Unless you’re like Jane here and you’re not good with tequila, in which case I’ll get you something else.” He grinned. “I know you took an Uber here, so you can’t tell me you’re driving.”

Considering he didn’t understand half of what Isaac had said, Cullen could immediately see this wasn’t an argument he had the know-how to win. “Alright,” he said shrugging, trying to appear casual. He glanced at Jane and noticed the amused expression on her face. 

“Fan-fucking-tastic!” Isaac said. “Cheers everyone!” and he raised his shot glass. 

Jane raised an eyebrow at Cullen but shrugged and tipped the glass back, downing the liquid. 

Cullen copied everyone else, but almost coughed as the drink hit his throat. He grimaced in disgust as he swallowed, and noticed that about half the table did the same. Jane likewise had a similar expression on her face. 

“Ug, really, why does anyone drink that?” she asked although the question was clearly rhetorical as everyone laughed and cheered. 

The conversation flowed easily and they made an effort to include Cullen, drawing him out of his shell. They were clearly curious, but they pried only a little and although they might have found some of the phrases he used a little strange, they put it down to him being British and moved on. The camaraderie between the friends reminded him of the Inquisitor’s companions. He’d seen them all drinking and having fun at Herald’s Rest, although he rarely joined in. He usually had too much paperwork that needed his attention. Sitting here now, being included, he felt a sense of regret that he had never made more of an effort to join in at Skyhold. 

Like the conversation, the alcohol also flowed and the table became louder and more raucous as the night went on. Cullen groaned in delight when the pizza arrived and he took his first bite. Isaac laughed at his expression. “You’d think you’d never had pizza before. The only other options are you’re really hungry or she’s doing something to you under the table to make you groan like that!” 

Cullen went bright red as Jane laughed and exclaimed, “Isaac! He really doesn’t know you guys well enough for you to be teasing him like that!” 

“You didn’t deny it though…” he grinned. She laughed and slapped his shoulder then turned and winked at Cullen. Despite his embarrassment he grinned back at her, finding himself noticing how her eyes sparkled. Isaac’s comments, serious or not, didn’t embarrass her, or perhaps it was more that she felt safe with these people. He couldn’t recall ever feeling safe like that with a group of friends, where he knew there was no judgement. 

“So,” a sultry voice said on the other side of him, and he turned to see a cheeky looking brunette with curly hair and olive skin looking at him shrewdly. “What’s really going on with you and Jane?” 

“I’m sorry?” he asked, momentarily confused. 

“Oh, I’m Freida by the way,” she said, smirking. “And I said, what’s really going on with you and Jane?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “She’s clearly not telling us everything. And she generally tells _me_ everything, which means she’s avoiding me. And she would only be avoiding me if she was hiding something.” 

“There’s nothing going on,” he said as he felt his cheeks redden. 

Freida examined him, a calculating look on her face. “So, either there’s something going on and you’re not telling me, or there’s nothing going on but you wish there was…” she grinned. 

“No!” Cullen exclaimed. “I don’t wish… I mean it’s not that she’s not… I didn’t…” 

Freida laughed, delighting in the fact that he was all flustered. “Oh there’s no judgement here. We’re all just curious. And looking out for our friend of course…” she smiled. 

“Strange you say that,” he replied, “I was just thinking about judgement just before this. Or rather the lack of it here.” He smiled slightly. “It’s… nice.” 

Freida looked closer at this man her friend had brought along tonight. She definitely knew something was up with Jane. They had been best friends for over ten years, and there was no way she would have avoided even mentioning this man to Freida before. “Well, none of us are in a position to be telling other people how to live their lives. We all just do the best we can, you know?” She grinned. It was time for her to fish a little. “I think we’re all just protective of her. I mean, after her marriage ended, we all just want what’s best for her.” 

Cullen was startled. “She was married?” he asked.

“Oh yeah. She never mentioned it to you?” she asked casually.

“I guess, it never came up,” he said shrugging. 

“Hmm,” murmured Freida. “Well it’s not really my story to tell, but suffice it to say that guy was an asshole. She’s much better off without him.” 

Cullen nodded vaguely, his mind turning. It hadn’t come up in conversation, but really, how did you approach something like that, especially when you’d just met? They hadn’t known each other long enough to talk about past relationships, but it did make their cover story look a little shaky. He was also very curious about her marriage now. Why had she never mentioned it? And did people just marry and end it so easily in this world? 

Another round of tequilas arrived, and against his better judgement Cullen accepted again. He was beginning to feel pleasantly drunk, and although he was now much more relaxed and able to fall more easily into conversation with Jane’s friends, he also had to watch what he said in case he let slip who he really was. In addition, more people had arrived and chairs had been squashed in around the table, meaning he was now sandwiched in between Jane and Freida. Although Freida’s back was now towards him as she chatted to another friend, he was uncomfortably aware of Jane’s thigh pressed against his own. 

He was leaning forward, talking to Adam who was across the table from him, when he unexpectedly felt a hand slip into his. He glanced down subtly to see Jane’s fingers gripping his, and he squeezed them gently. Her hand returned the squeeze before disentangling and slipping from his. His hand tingled where she’d touched him and he felt his ears burn as he hoped no one had noticed the exchange. He wasn’t embarrassed, surprisingly as these things usually made him very flustered, but the secretiveness of it was something he enjoyed. Like it was forbidden. His heart beat a little faster and he wondered how much of it was the alcohol and how much was desire. 

Thirty minutes later and the first people began to leave. After four or five of them had made their excuses, Jane leaned towards him and said softly, “You want to go home?” 

Cullen nodded. He was feeling a little overwhelmed by all the noise and the new people, and drunker than he had anticipated. 

She pulled out her talking device, she’d called it a phone he remembered, and fiddled with it for a moment. “Right! I’ve called an Uber,” she said. “We’re leaving.” 

She pulled out her wallet to leave some money, and Cullen leaned over. “Please let me pay,” he said. 

She grinned at him. “Alright,” she smiled. “Might as well put that gold to good use.” 

He grinned back at her as he handed her his wallet. He had no idea how much things cost, so he’d just let her handle it for the time being. 

Jane left some cash with Isaac then checked her phone. “Uber is two minutes away.” She stood up. “Alright beautiful people, this is where we leave you.” There was a chorus of disappointment but she only laughed good naturedly and made her goodbyes. Freida, Isaac and Adam all pulled Cullen into unexpected hugs, which made him feel a little awkward, but he didn’t want to cause offence and it seemed like this group was very affectionate. 

A minute later and they were outside and getting into the Uber pulling up beside them. As they got into the back, Jane sighed. “Sorry, I hope you didn’t want to stay - I could see it going distinctly downhill if we stayed much longer,” she said. 

“Oh, no, I’m quite happy to return home,” he replied. “I uh… am a bit drunker than I anticipated to be honest.” 

Jane laughed and patted him on the arm. “Yeah tequila will do that to you. This is also why I didn’t drive here - I know my friends too well and I would not have been legal to drive home!” 

“Can I ask a question?” he said. 

“Of course,” she replied. 

“Your friends… seem to touch each other a lot…” he said and Jane burst out laughing. 

“Yes, they do. We do.” She grinned. “We’ve all known each other a long time. A lot of these people have even been in relationships with each other from time to time. It’s more like family than friends I would say.” She smiled to herself. “I remember reading once that friends are the family you choose, and I firmly believe that if you have a very close group.” 

Cullen nodded to himself. “But I mean… some of them hugged me goodbye, and I don’t really know them…”

Jane smiled at him. “It means they like you Cullen. Otherwise you would have just gotten a nod and a wave.” 

“Oh…” he said, more to himself than to her. 

She patted his arm before leaning her head on his shoulder. “Silly,” she murmured before lapsing into a comfortable silence. 

Cullen was surprised, but pleased. His heart beat a little harder and his stomach felt all tingly. All he wanted to do right then was kiss her, but he also didn’t want to be too forward. He barely knew this woman, and she’d invited him into her home, taken care of him… He didn’t want the alcohol to make him do something he’d regret in the morning.

Instead he rested his cheek against the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair as the Uber took them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked writing this chapter, it had a familiarity to it that I think you can only get from drawing on real experiences, but it flowed easily once I started. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Comments as always appreciated. :)


	4. A thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor is frustrated that there is no sign of Cullen. Solas searches the Fade. Cassandra deals with deserters.

“We need to find him!” The Inquisitor slammed his hand down on the table, causing some of the markers to wobble and fall over. Josephine frowned in displeasure and leaned over to set them right again.

“Inquisitor we’re looking for him,” Leliana said, her irritation barely concealed. “I have my best scouts on it. If there is any trace to be found, they’ll let us know immediately.”

“And if there isn’t a trace? What then?” he scowled. 

“Solas is also searching the Fade,” Cassandra said. “And likewise will let us know if he finds anything.”

“I don’t know how you can all be so calm about this?” Maxwell said, astounded. “Cullen, the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces was _sucked_ into a rift! Our army is left with no leader, and everyone seems to be unconcerned!”

“It is not that we are not worried Inquisitor,” said Josephine, looking up from her clipboard. “Cullen is not just the Commander of our forces, he is also a friend to everyone in this room. But it would also not do, in the face of the threat we face, to all run around panicking. Corypheus cannot know we have been weakened by the loss of the Commander.” She looked around at the room. “As such I would like to nominate Cassandra to stand in for him temporarily until such time as he is found and able to return to us.” 

“Me?” Cassandra asked in surprise. “Cullen already has a second in Rylen…” 

“And Rylen is an excellent second, but I believe the Inquisition needs someone who will command, not execute commands.” 

“I’m not certain that I’m the right choice for this…” Cassandra began.

“And that is exactly why you are an excellent choice,” Leliana said. “I agree with Josie. We will of course continue to search for Cullen, but in the meantime, we need someone to command the armies of the Inquisition. Tensions are rising and I’ve heard rumblings of desertions. We cannot have that.” 

All eyes turned to Maxwell. “Inquisitor - your thoughts on the matter?” Cassandra asked. 

Max considered. He was still frustrated by the lack of progress, but he wasn’t stupid. He did see the need for someone to replace Cullen temporarily. “I agree Cassandra, much as I want Cullen found, I think you would be an excellent choice to replace him, albeit temporarily.” 

Leliana gave a sharp nod. “It is decided then. We will continue to search for the Commander, and in the meantime, Cassandra will take on Cullen’s duties. Rylen will remain as second.” 

The meeting broke up and Max walked slowly, lost in thought, towards the main hall. He found himself, moments later, standing in the entrance to Solas’s atrium. He looked for the elf, finding him sitting poring over a book at the table in the room, a cup of tea in his hand. He took a sip and grimaced at the taste. 

“Something wrong with your tea Solas?” Max asked. 

“It is tea,” the elf replied, his lip curled in distaste. “I detest the stuff.” He put the cup down and met the Inquisitor’s gaze. “You’re here about the Commander,” he said matter of factly. 

“I am,” Max replied. “Have you found any sign of him?” 

“I… have not,” Solas replied, and Max’s shoulders slumped. He had been hoping for some glimmer of hope in all this. 

“But… there is something…” the mage replied thoughtfully. “I cannot find any sign of his passing, but there is… a memory, of… something?” He pursed his lips in thought. “I will need to do some more research however.” He looked at the Inquisitor. “I don’t want to give you false hope,” he said gently, “but I do not think that Cullen is lost to us, or dead. I think he is merely stuck somewhere from which he is unable to return.” 

Max sighed. It wasn’t much but it was something he supposed. He nodded. “Thank you Solas. I guess I’ll just have to have faith that you’ll discover something more. Please do let me know…” 

“Of course Inquisitor,” replied the elf, inclining his head. “I have not given up hope, and neither should you.”

Max made his way out of Solas’s quarters and walked slowly up the stairs into the library. He’d always loved being surrounded by books. It calmed him and helped him think. These days the library seemed a lot busier than it used to and it annoyed him slightly, although maybe he was just in a bad mood in general. He didn’t mind Dorian being there - he liked the mage and got along well with him. He had a dry sense of humour Max enjoyed and he seemed to be perpetually laughing at everyone, although Max had spoken with him enough that it was clear Dorian used humour to cover up his insecurities. The mage had managed to find a little nook in the library where he could ensconce himself, but Max had no such luck. He really just wanted to find a place where he could hide away from the responsibilities of being Inquisitor every now and then.

He worried about Cullen, but he also worried about what it would mean for the war if they didn’t have a military leader. Cassandra was a good replacement, Josephine was right, but Cullen had established himself as someone the troops looked up to, even if he was hard on them at times. They saw him as a role model, and while he might be awkward and uncomfortable in personal situations, he was a charismatic and capable Commander. He sighed loudly as he walked into the library.

“Well that sounds rather ominous,” a cultured voice said from among the bookshelves. 

“Hello Dorian,” Max said rubbing a hand over his face as he turned to face the mage who was leaning casually against a bookshelf, a boring looking tome on Tevinter in his hand. “That looks… engrossing…” he said, nodding at the book. 

Dorian snapped it shut. “It’s not. It’s quite tedious actually, but it can be a distraction when necessary.” The mage straightened up, pushing himself away from the bookshelf. “Any news?” he asked, referring to Cullen. 

Max shook his head glumly. “None. Leliana’s scouts are searching everywhere. Solas is exploring the Fade for any signs of him but…” He sighed. “Cassandra is stepping in temporarily to lead the troops, but… what if we don’t find him Dorian?”

“Hmm, well he can’t just have vanished entirely Inquisitor.” The mage’s voice took on a more gentle tone. “I know you’re worried, we all are, but Cullen is not incapable. If anyone was able to survive… wherever he is… it would be him. He and I may not always get along, but anyone can see he is a talented warrior. He’ll cope until we can bring him back home.” 

Max nodded. “I do hope you’re right.”

______________

“Seeker Pentaghast.” Knight-Captain Rylen was walking towards Cassandra, a grim look on his face. 

“Rylen,” Cassandra replied. “What can I do for you?” 

“I’ve been informed you’ll be standing in for Commander Cullen until he’s found,” he responded. 

“I am,” Cassandra said. “Do you have a problem with that?” 

“What? Oh, no, not at all, I’m here because we have a couple of deserters and I need someone in authority to decide what to do with them.” 

“Ah, I see,” Cassandra said, a bit ashamed that she had immediately jumped to the conclusion that Rylen was unhappy with the situation. “Take me to them.” 

Rylen led the way to the holding cells in Skyhold. They were largely unfinished, but a handful of them were secure and one of them was currently occupied by the deserters. He nodded towards them and Cassandra stepped towards the cell. 

She looked through the bars to see two men, one who looked to be in his thirties, the other perhaps slightly older. They were both huddled in the corners of the cell, and they looked up as the Seeker stepped into view. 

She glared at them. “You have been accused of desertion. Explain yourselves.” 

The younger of the two men spoke. “Commander Cullen is dead. The Commander of the Inquisition’s army is dead. What hope do we have if he is gone? We’re no match for Corypheus’s dark magic! Better to desert and live in fear, than to die with those red crystal things poking out of us!”

“You fool,” Cassandra sneered. “If Corypheus wins it won’t matter where you are, he will destroy everything. Better to stand and fight than to run away in fear.” She narrowed her eyes as she glared at him and the man shrunk before her gaze. “And we do not know that the Commander is not dead. He is missing it is true, but we have scouts out searching for him everywhere, and mages exploring the Fade in search of him. Do you have so little faith in your Commander that you think he would not return if he could?”

A bitter laugh came from the corner and Cassandra and Rylen turned to look at the older man. He sat with his head back against the wall, eyes closed, legs stretched out in front of him. “The Commander’s not coming back, just face facts. You can search all you like, but he was sucked into a Maker-damned rift. Doesn’t matter how good of a warrior he is, he’s lost to us.”

“And if he is? Do you hold no faith in the Inquisitor? Commander Cullen is not the leader of the Inquisition, Maxwell Trevelyan is.”

The man opened his eyes. “Maxwell Trevelyan is a boy who was unlucky enough to fall out of a rift and get a glowing mark on his hand. He’s brave, yes, but I joined the Inquisition because of the people who were with him. Because I knew the Commander’s reputation as a warrior.” 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall again. “Just leave me here to rot Seeker.” 

Cassandra had no response, she just scowled. Turning to Rylen she said, “I will hand them over to the Inquisitor for judgement.” The Seeker spun on her heel and marched out of the cells, her perpetual scowl deeper than before.   
______________

Solas drifted, expanding his mind, in an attempt to find some trace of Commander Cullen. He returned to the place he had disappeared, watching as Cullen pushed the Inquisitor away from the rift, and then was sucked in himself. 

The mage paced around the rift as it closed, looking for… something… anything. The last time he had done this he had found a thread. So small as to be almost invisible, but Solas recognised the essence of it as belonging to Cullen. He searched again, now, for this same thread. The moment the rift closed, that’s what he was looking for. 

There.

A flash. Small, almost unnoticeable, but there it was. The faintest flash of blue, a trail so fine, like a piece of cotton thread, but if you looked from the right angle… 

Now how to follow it? With the rift gone it was difficult, but not impossible. 

He would need to do more research.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shortish chapter in comparison to the rest, but this felt like a natural place for it to end. I really like the idea of Cassandra commanding the armies, even if it's just temporarily, she's so bad ass! :)
> 
> Comments always welcome.


	5. New game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane introduces Cullen to Dragon Age Inquisition.

Jane woke the next morning with a mild headache. Her stomach churned as she sat up in bed, not badly but enough that she went in search of some anti-nausea and headache tablets. Still in her pajamas, she made her way through to the kitchen, poured herself a big glass of water, drank it in one go and refilled it. 

Settling down at the kitchen table, she opened up her laptop. She was due to go back to work in a few days and decided to skim through her emails quickly to see what would be waiting for her on Monday. Ug, Monday. The best part about being on holiday was when you didn’t really know what day it was, and Jane had been on leave for two weeks. Today was Saturday so she had two more days of doing nothing until it was back to the grind. 

She glanced at her emails and sighed as the total number of unread mails climbed uncomfortably. It stopped in the region of 600. Well, it could have been worse, she supposed. No one had contacted her about a crisis that “only she could deal with”, so there was that. Hopefully it meant that the handover she’d left was comprehensive enough that everyone was confident it could wait till she returned. 

Opening up her browser she, somewhat ashamedly, Googled “strange weather this week”. It was the most cliched thing she could think of, but she didn’t really know where else to start. Unsurprisingly nothing came up. Ok, so the weather wasn’t a thing then. She was thinking about what else to start Googling when the door to the spare bedroom opened and Cullen emerged, also looking a little rough around the edges, his usually perfect hair standing up in what Jane considered a gorgeously ruffled manner. She’d purchased him a pair of pajama pants when she’d exchanged money for him, and he was currently barefoot, wearing those and a tshirt. 

Jane grinned. “Hanging?” 

“Um… pardon me?” he replied frowning slightly.

“Are you hungover?” she asked. “Headache? Nausea?”

“Yes…” he grimaced. “Not terrible, but I don’t feel great.” 

Jane got up. “Sit,” she directed and went back into her room to collect more painkillers and nausea pills. She came back to find Cullen sitting at the kitchen table as instructed. She handed him the pills and slid her glass of water over to him. “Drink the pills, finish the glass of water,” she instructed. 

He did as she said and she refilled the glass for herself, getting a fresh one for him and placing it in front of him. 

“It should kick in and help in a bit,” she said. “Always the down side of drinking isn’t it? The morning after…” 

Cullen groaned. “I don’t generally drink a great deal,” he said. “I don’t experience this often.”

“Me neither too be honest,” Jane shrugged. “But it makes us cheap dates,” she laughed.

“Cheap dates?” Cullen asked, confused. “I… don’t know what that means.” 

“Oh, um, like people don’t have to spend a lot of money on you if they take you out, because alcohol affects you really quickly and easily.” 

“Oh. Yes, then I am indeed a cheap date, as you put it,” he smiled bashfully. 

“Well luckily it’s the weekend, so I still have a couple of days before I have to go to work. We can spend the day relaxing, preferably watching movies on the couch,” she said. 

“Right.” He fell silent. 

“Is something the matter?” she asked, noticing the frown that had appeared on his face. 

“I was just thinking about what I would do when you went back to work,” he replied. “I can’t read your written language, so that limits my options somewhat. I’m also not really sure how to begin looking for a way home.”

“Yeah I was actually thinking about that this morning,” Jane replied. “It’s not like I can go see a rift specialist here…” 

“So what does that mean?” Cullen asked. “I’m stuck here?” 

“Well, I mean… maybe?” she said apologetically. “I won’t give up looking, I don’t think we’ve actually even tried really, so I’ll see what I can think of, but I really am coming up with nothing right now…” She put her hand over his. “I’m sorry Cullen. I wish I could give you some more concrete information.” 

Cullen sighed, putting his head in his hands. “What is going to happen to the Inquisition?” he asked. “I mean, I don’t even know if everything is alright, or if Corypheus has attacked…” 

“Uh, well… I might kind of be able to help there…” she said. “It will sound crazy, but it will also explain a little of how I know so much about all of you.”

“You said it was a story here.” he replied.

“Yeeees, kind of. I mean, it is a story, but it’s not like the movies we watched. It’s an interactive story. Something called a video game.” 

“A video game.”

“Yes… and while I don’t generally advocate for people to sit on their couch all day playing video games, I think it might be useful to you.”

“I don’t understand half of what you said…” he replied, brows drawn together in consternation.

“Alright, let’s eat something, get dressed, and then I’ll show you,” Jane said matter of factly. “Does that sound reasonable?” 

“If you think it will help me understand more,” Cullen said, still frowning. 

“I hope so,” Jane replied. 

She got up from the table and moved towards the stove to cook some breakfast. She mainly ate cereal or toast for breakfast during the week, but on the weekends she liked to have a cooked meal. 

“Do you eat eggs and bacon?” she asked. 

“Yes, I do,” he replied. 

“Ok great, you can help me cook ok?” she grinned, throwing a wink at him over her shoulder. 

“Uh… sure.” He joined her in the kitchen but was definitely awkward.

“Cullen…” Jane said, raising an eyebrow at him. “Have you ever cooked for yourself?” 

“Well, not exactly…” he mumbled. “I mean, I joined the templars very young, and we’ve always had cooks…” 

She grinned at him. “Well, now is the best time to learn. It’s very rare for anyone here to have a cook, so either you learn or you spend a shit-ton of money eating out all the time. Or you marry someone who knows how to cook,” she added. 

She handed him a packet of bacon. “Wash your hands, then you can start putting those in this pan,” she directed. 

Cullen discovered that although he needed instruction as to what to do, he quite enjoyed cooking, or perhaps it was just cooking with her he liked. Jane put on some music and sang loudly, and danced to it while she was cooking, something he found amusing and endearing in equal measure. 

Twenty minutes later, with nothing burned and inedible, they were sitting down to breakfast. 

“See? That wasn’t too hard was it?” she teased him. 

Cullen blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “No, not too hard…” he said. “Thank you. I’d like to learn more if you don’t mind showing me?” 

“Of course,” she laughed. “Everyone should be able to cook basic things. I’m happy to show you how.” 

They ate, showered and dressed and then Jane sat down in front of the TV and switched it on. She reached for the Playstation remote, pressing the start button. Navigating to Dragon Age Inquisition she looked over at Cullen who had been standing, leaning in the doorway looking very apprehensive. 

“Come sit,” she said, patting the couch next to her. He sat down. “Ready?” she asked. 

“Well, not really…” he said, “but as ready as I’m likely to be.” 

She nodded and started the game. The opening scene of course being…

“That’s the Temple of Sacred Ashes,” he said frowning. 

“Yeah it is. I’m going to start a new game, rather than have you play one of mine ok? Then you can actually experience the story for yourself.” 

He nodded, but it was clear to her, he didn’t quite grasp the implications of what she’d said. She selected New Game and then handed the controller to him. “There will be instructions on screen that explain what you need to do, and I know you can’t read them but the symbols will appear on the screen alright? The buttons they refer to correlate to the buttons on the controller, so if it has a cross shape like this,” she said indicating the cross on the Playstation remote, “then that’s what you need to press. If you get confused, then just press a whole lot of the buttons until it does what you want, it’s relatively easy to pick up.”

She got up. “I’m going to leave you to do this yourself, I think it’s something you need to experience without me staring over your shoulder. But I’m just in the next room, you can call me or come find me if you need anything.”

Cullen nodded. “How do I start?” he asked, looking down at the controller in his hands. 

“Oh, press the cross button,” she said, showing him. He did and the game’s intro sequence began playing. She squeezed his shoulder gently and walked out of the room, the sounds of Dragon Age Inquisition in her ears. 

____________________

Jane was lying on her bed reading a book when Cullen appeared in her doorway. She saw the stricken look on his face and patted the bed beside her. He sat down next to her but didn’t say anything. 

“How far are you?” she asked. 

“Val Royeaux,” he replied. “The Templars abandoned the Chantry.” 

“You’re still doing all the side quests in the Hinterlands?” she asked. He nodded. “I can’t recruit the templars… or the mages…” he added, “just yet.” 

“You don’t have enough power,” she said. “Sorry, I keep forgetting you wouldn’t have been able to read any of the text.”

“It’s fine, I’m just listening to them… us… speak,” he said softly. 

Wordessly Jane opened her arms and pulled him into a hug. Cullen leaned into her, feeling the enormity of everything that had happened weighing on him. Playing through this game he felt like his mind was exploding. Hearing Leliana’s voice, Josephine’s - voices that were similar, but not quite right, was disconcerting. Hearing someone imitating his own voice was downright surreal. It was looking in a strange mirror. It also weighed on him how he was portrayed in the game, as if he was the misguided, overzealous, uncompromising templar. A mage hater. Technically everything was accurate, but he felt the guilt of everything he’d done in Kirkwall, in Kinloch Hold, weighing on him when it was presented to him like this. 

Cullen wrapped his arms around Jane as she held him, drawing comfort from her presence. The weight of emotions within him bubbled up and he felt like he might cry. He took a deep, ragged breath as he struggled to get his emotions under control. When he finally managed to do so he became conscious of her stroking his hair gently and in that moment became aware of her body pressed against his, the warmth of it, the feel of her in his arms. He felt a flood of desire course through him. Carefully he disentangled himself from her arms, not wanting to take advantage of the situation. She was offering comfort and here he was thinking of what it would be like to kiss her. ‘What is wrong with you Cullen?’ he chastised himself.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked him. 

“Not right now,” he said, noticing the shape of her lips, the frown of concern between her eyebrows. He looked away, more to keep himself under control than for any other reason. “But… if you wouldn’t mind… I would like you to sit with me. If that’s alright?” he asked. “It would be easier if I didn’t have to deal with it all myself, and perhaps then I could ask some questions.” 

“Of course,” she said, getting up from the bed. 

They made their way back through to the living room and Cullen picked up the controller again. As he played, making personal comments on certain situations he remembered, Jane guided him through certain quests, giving advice from her experience playing the game. Because Cullen was playing as the Inquisitor - he’d chosen a human, male character, she assumed because it was familiar - it was strange for him to have another perspective on the challenges the Inquisitor had faced while trying to resolve certain things. 

“Cullen,” she said. “Can I ask you a question? One I should have thought of earlier actually…”

He put the controller down and looked at her. “Yes of course Jane, anything,” he said seriously. 

“Are you still feeling the lyrium withdrawal?” she asked softly. “I had forgotten…” 

Cullen stilled and his face turned thoughtful. “You know… I hadn’t thought of it since I got here actually…” he said carefully. “I guess the distraction…” he shook his head. “With the exception of in the very beginning, the headaches have become more sporadic, even before I arrived on Earth, but they come and go so they can strike at any time really. The one I had this morning was definitely from the alcohol. Lyrium headaches are… more intense. I’ll let you know if I feel anything - it’s not as if you can get lyrium here?” He looked questioningly at Jane and she shook her head, “so the temptation is at least removed.”

“And the nightmares?” she asked.

“I had one last night,” he said, “but not as bad as usual. I don’t know if I just woke up before… well, before it got too bad, or…” He shrugged. 

Jane frowned. “Ok… well if you need anything, please let me know. I’ll help if I can, even if it’s just painkillers to get rid of the headache or something to help you sleep.” 

“Thank you Jane,” Cullen smiled, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. He was feeling a little awkward at the intimacy that seemed to be developing between them and so to avoid thinking too closely about it, he picked up the controller again and returned to the game, journeying through the Hinterlands. 

The light was starting to fade and he realised he’d been playing all afternoon. He finally had enough power to recruit the templars. Or the mages, he told himself. In his world, they had recruited the mages and he had always wondered what would have happened if the Inquisitor had decided on the templars instead. He looked over at Jane to ask her what she thought and saw her curled up with her head on the arm of the couch, fast asleep. 

There was a blanket lying over the arm of the couch and Cullen pulled it over her, then picked up the controller, deciding to see what would have happened if the Inquisitor had chosen the alternative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quite like these domestic chapters. Life is often about the small, day to day things that make a difference, and I feel like Cullen benefits from not always being the one in charge and learning new things. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy. Sorry for the delay, work has been insane, plus I've also been writing my other Dragon Age fic - Triangle - so if you're interested you can head over and read that one too. 
> 
> Comments always appreciated. :)


	6. I want you back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most domesticity, but Cullen needs to be doing something else all day rather than just sitting and playing video games...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I'd forgotten I'd written the previous chapter and had been concentrating on this one, so that's why you're getting two in such quick succession. :)

On Monday, Jane went back to work.

The night before she’d showed Cullen how to work basic things around the house. How to pack and switch on the dishwasher and washing machine. Where the food was in the fridge and how to make coffee. She figured if she at least showed him basic things he would be able to start to settle. 

She found it strange that she felt regret at leaving Cullen alone for the day and although she completed everything she needed to and caught up on everything she’d missed while she was on leave, she was distracted and a couple of people laughed and commented that she was still in holiday mode. She laughed it off, but she was pleased to leave at the end of the day.

Walking in around six’o’clock she found him sitting in front of the TV, playing Inquisition. 

“Have you moved from there once the entire day?” she laughed, flopping down onto the couch beside him.

“I have!” he said defensively. “I showered, and um… I turned the washing machine on like you showed me. And hung the washing.”

“You did?”Jane asked, surprised. “I mean, I showed you but I wasn’t really sure if you would do it.” 

“Yes, well I didn’t want to be completely useless,” he replied. “And really, it’s just pressing a button…” he said sheepishly.

“Try telling that to my ex…” she laughed, and then blushed a little as she realised they’d never had that conversation. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Freida told me you’d been married? Is that correct?” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “Of course she did…” She sighed. “Yes, it’s true. For a couple of years. We were together for a long time and eventually decided to get married because that’s what you do when you’ve been dating for years.” She shrugged. “The reality is that we really weren’t right for each other and we were together more out of habit than because we actually loved each other.” 

She pursed her lips. “No, actually, that’s not entirely true. We loved each other once, but I realised about eighteen months into the marriage that I was with him because I was expected to be. We didn’t want the same things.”

She grinned. “Plus he totally expected me to wait on him and give up my career once we were married and there was no way that was going to happen! It’s why I said that about the washing machine.” 

“Oh,” Cullen said thoughtfully. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” 

“Don’t be. I’m not. I’ve been much better off and happier since we split up,” she said. “Sometimes that’s just life.” She heaved herself to her feet. “Now. Have you eaten anything? I’m starving!”

“Oh, um, not since lunch. Can I help you cook?”

“Nah, it’s fine I’ll handle it tonight,” she smiled. “You can help tomorrow.” She walked into the kitchen and fiddled around in the freezer, pulling out some meat and putting it into the microwave to defrost. Switching on Spotify on her phone, she linked it up to the speakers in her house and put on one of her favourite playlists - one to which she loved to cook. It was light and feel good. Ten minutes later she was singing along to the music and dancing in the kitchen, cooking pasta, her go to comfort food. 

Cullen, drawn by the music and noises from the kitchen, approached and leaned against the door frame, watching from behind her as she sang and occasionally drummed on the countertop in time to some of the songs. She danced, in free, unchoreographed movements that expressed how she was feeling, rather than following the stiff, formal dances he was used to. She turned to see him leaning there and watching her, an amused smile on his face. 

She grinned. “Are you judging me Cullen Rutherford?” she joked. 

“Not at all, I’ve just never seen anyone dance like this before,” he said. “It’s… nice…” 

She laughed, a throaty, full sound that lit up her face. She reached out her hand. “Come dance with me.” 

“What? No, I mean, I don’t even know the moves…” 

“Moves! There are no moves to this, you just make them up as you go along,” she smiled. 

“I don’t dance…” he said, blushing as he felt his hand creep up to the back of his neck. 

Jane shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said turning around and throwing a wink at him over her shoulder as she began singing and dancing to The Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back.” 

When I had you to myself  
I didn’t want you around  
Those pretty faces always made you  
Stand out in a crowd

But someone picked you from the bunch  
One glance was all it took  
Now it’s much too late for me  
To take a second look

Oh baby give me one more chance  
Won’t you please let me  
Back in your heart  
Oh, darling I was blind to let you go  
But now I see you in his arms  
I want you back! Yes I do now  
I want you back! Ooh, ooh baby  
I want you back! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
I want you back! Now, now, now, now

She grinned cheekily at Cullen as she swayed and sang along to the music. She was chopping up vegetables and chicken as she heated oil in a pot on the stove. He found his eyes drifting much lower than they probably should have towards her rear as he watched her dance and immediately pulled his eyes upwards guiltily, glad she wasn’t facing him. 

The domesticity of the situation was strange and new to him, but he found it comforting. He’s spent so many years living in barracks with other soldiers that it wasn’t really something he’d ever experienced. Sure, he’d had sex, but he’d never been in any kind of lasting relationship and this kind of domestic situation was completely outside of his experience. 

He began to regret not taking her up on the offer of dancing with her, even if it was just to be able to hold her in his arms. It was with a twinge in his gut that he realised he was developing feelings that were beyond just physical desire for this strange woman. She was loud and inappropriate by the standards of his world. Outspoken, overly physical or “touchy feely” as she would say, and yet the very things that would be found unacceptable in polite Fereldan society were the things that drew him to her, precisely because she didn’t seem to care at all what he, or anybody else for that matter, thought. She just got on with her life. 

“Cullen!” she said loudly and he looked up, startled, to realise she’d been speaking to him and he hadn’t heard a word. 

“Oh, um, pardon?” he said, straightening up from where he’d been leaning against the wall. 

“I said, can you pass me the pasta in the cupboard,” she said, a look of amusement on her face. “Where you daydreaming? This is the third time I’ve asked.” 

“Uh, yeah, sorry, I was elsewhere,” he apologised, opening the cupboard behind him and then realised he didn’t actually know what he was looking for. “Uh, what were you looking for again?” he asked, looking over his shoulder. He noticed a slight blush on her cheeks as her eyes jerked upwards and he realised with a start that she had been looking at his ass. He immediately flushed bright red and turned back towards the cupboard to hide his embarrassment, and the slight feeling of pleasure. Maybe his interest in her wasn’t too misplaced.

“Pasta,” she said, her voice carefully neutral. “Spaghetti. Long, thin, stick things in a packet.” 

He turned and held out a packet towards her. “Is this it?”

“That’s it, thanks,” she replied, her face no longer giving away her embarrassment, taking it from him. 

Ten minutes later they were sitting down to a meal. “So how’s everything going with… Dragon Age Inquisition?” she asked. She felt a bit silly calling it that, considering it was his actual world. “Sorry,” she said flushing. “I don’t really know what else to call it.” 

“Oh, it’s… interesting,” he replied. “It’s a bit surreal, because it’s both my world and not, if you know what I mean.” He looked thoughtful as he took a bite of the pasta. He finished chewing and said, “In my world, the Inquisitor decided to approach the mages, so I took the opportunity to approach the templars here, just to see what could have happened. I couldn’t tell you which was the right choice to be honest. I was always so certain that the templars were the way to go, but the reality is that it didn’t really seem to make a difference.” 

She smiled a little. “Yeah I generally prefer to side with the mages, but the templar storyline is a little easier I think. Calpurnia is easier to talk down than Samson.” 

Cullen huffed a soft laugh but shook his head. “Samson. That man. He always was too stubborn for his own good.” His face looked a little sad. “I wish things could have been different…” 

He shook himself out of his reverie. “I’d like to continue playing however. I don’t think I ever really realised how much the Inquisitor has to go through when we send him out on missions, and it does give me a new perspective on everything.” 

Jane was surprised. It wasn’t really the answer she was expecting from him, and she realised she’d only really started getting to know him over the last few days. There was so much more to Cullen than what was portrayed in the game and it felt good to know he really was human. “So… is it weird seeing yourself there?” she asked. 

“It is,” he said. “And it’s a bit disheartening to know that this is how others see you…” he shook his head sadly. “I really seem quite uncompromising, and I’m trying to decide if this just how I’m portrayed, or if it’s really how I am and I just don’t see it.” 

“Well, the portrayal also changes a little if you explore the romance option,” she said taking another bite of her food. She finished chewing and looked up to find him staring at her in confusion. 

“The what?” he asked.

“The romance option,” she said. “Have you not romanced any of the characters while you’re playing?” 

“Oh… no I haven’t,” he said. “What do you mean when you say it changes?”

Jane realised she probably should have explained this to him beforehand. “Uh… yeah so if you play as a female Inquisitor, then you can explore a possible romance with… Cullen… you… um…” she fumbled. “I probably should have mentioned that… but basically it changes your portrayal a little, depending on the choices you make.” 

Cullen ate in silence, thoughtful. Jane didn’t want to interrupt him as he was obviously processing this information. “How does the portrayal change?” he asked suddenly. 

“Well, you… he… um. Ok I’m just going to say he if that’s ok? It’s very difficult for me to talk about the game Cullen as you now that I actually know you - it’s weird.” 

Cullen nodded and shrugged. It was weird for him as well and he supposed this might help him separate it all a little more. 

“Well, he becomes… more vulnerable I guess. Not in a bad way. More, accepting. Especially if the Inquisitor is a mage because he learns to see another perspective on things.”

“So… these romance options,” he said frowning. “I’m playing as a male Inquisitor - it just seemed logical to me I guess - can you get involved with anyone?”

“No, you have limited options - I guess mainly because it’s a game, not real life there, so there have to be parameters to make it more manageable. But if you’re a male Inquisitor you can get involved with Josephine, with Bull, with Dorian, oh and Cassandra,” she said, counting on her fingers.

“And if you’re a woman?” he asked. 

“If you’re a woman you can romance Sera, Bull, Josephine, Blackwall, Solas if you’re an elf, and… Cullen,” she replied, her cheeks reddening a little. 

Cullen grinned at her embarrassment. “Why are you blushing?” he asked.

“No reason,” she mumbled. She knew he was teasing her but still, she felt flustered. 

“Did you ever romance Cullen in the game?” he said, his grin widening and his amber eyes sparkling.

“Fuck off Cullen,” she laughed. “You’re trying to make me uncomfortable.”

“I absolutely am,” he laughed, leaning back in his chair, his food momentarily forgotten. “It’s… cute.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh my god you did not just call me cute…” Uncomfortably aware that her face was still flushed, she took a sip of her wine. “Just eat your food,” she ordered, looking back down at her own plate. 

She heard him chuckle and sneaked a glance at him from under her lashes, looking away quickly when she saw him still watching her. 

The rest of the dinner passed in more comfortable conversation. They talked a little about missions he had completed in the game, a little about her work and what it was she actually did. She got the sense he didn’t quite grasp it all, but that was a familiarity issue.

They were relaxing over a glass of wine, when he turned to her and said, “I must admit, there is something I’ve been wanting to find out. I know you can’t take me somewhere every day, but is there somewhere I can train? I’m used to training and working out every day, and I’m starting to miss it.” 

“Oh, I guess I’ve been a bit preoccupied with everything else, I never really thought about that,” she said thoughtfully. “What sort of equipment do you usually use?”

“Equipment?” he asked frowning. “I mean, I use a sword…”

Jane laughed. “I meant like weights or something.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. You use your body. You can’t provide an army of troops with equipment to get them fit, that would be impossible to carry when on the march.”

“Well that does make it a bit easier to be honest,” she said. “My gym is a ten minute drive from here, but there’s a park literally five minutes walk away. You could go train in the park? It would give you space to run as well as anything else. Maybe more like a training ground.” 

“Can you show me how to get there?”

“Yes of course, I’ll show you tomorrow. I bought you some shorts and tshirts when I went shopping, but obviously if you want to train regularly you’ll need more clothes.” She laughed. “I wouldn’t recommend taking your sword with you however, you’ll probably be reported for brandishing a dangerous weapon…” 

“I’ll bear that in mind,” he smiled and Jane noticed how his eyes crinkled at the sides when he did so.

The next morning, armed with an extra set of house keys so he could let himself back in, Jane gave Cullen specific instructions on how to get to the park from her house. Luckily it was quite straightforward so he found it without any trouble. Jane was right, this really was the perfect place to work out, and because it was during the day it wasn’t busy. 

He began by running the perimeter of the park, relishing the feel of the wind in his hair and the pounding of his heart. Cullen was a fit and athletic man and the lack of exercise in the weeks he had been on Earth grated him. He reached his starting point, his heart pumping, and he stopped to catch his breath. 

Finding a clear spot on the grass, he began doing sit ups, stopping only when his abs were burning so badly he could barely lift himself up. He vaguely noticed other people in the park while he exercised, but didn’t pay them much attention, focusing instead of his body and relishing the feel of the burn in his muscles. 

It was only when a man approached him and cleared his throat that Cullen stopped what he was doing, breathing heavily from exertion. “Can I help you?” he asked politely. 

“Yeah, uh, I’ve never seen you here before, and I saw you exercising…” he trailed off and in the silence Cullen realised he expected him to reply. 

“Oh, yes, well I moved here recently,” he replied. “This is my first time in this park.” He looked around at the space and shrugged. “It’s nice.”

“So, um, what do you do?” the man asked. 

Cullen was confused. “What do you mean?” he asked, his forehead creasing. 

“I mean, are you a personal trainer or something? Your… uh… physique… is quite impressive,” the man said, clearly embarrassed.

“Oh, no not really,” Cullen said, wondering what a personal trainer was. “I mean, I do train recruits for the army, but…”

“Oh you’re military!” the man nodded in understanding. “That makes sense.”

“Does it?” Cullen asked in confusion, but the man was already continuing.

“I was… uh, I was hoping… that perhaps I could train with you?” he said. “I’m trying to get in shape, and I’m struggling a bit. I also come to the park regularly - I work from home so my time is flexible - and I was hoping you could give me some pointers. I’ll pay you of course,” he added.

When Cullen didn’t answer immediately, not because he was reluctant, but more because he was confused, the man said, “I have a couple of friends who would join in as well, I’m sure.”

Cullen shrugged. “Alright. Why not?”

“Great!” the man exclaimed, grinning. “Can I meet you here tomorrow? 9am?”

“Yeah sounds good,” Cullen agreed. “I’ll see you then.” He returned to his workout as the man ambled away, thinking how strange this seemed to him, but training recruits was something he knew how to do, and he figured it would give him something to do during the days while Jane was at work. 

When he was done, he returned home, running to get in a last cardio workout. He showered and changed, did some of the household chores and then sat down on the couch to return to Dragon Age. Jane’s comments about the romance options had piqued his interest and he decided he wanted to explore it. He tried to think in terms of what he knew about Max. He’d seen him flirt with Josephine, but also come to think of it, with Dorian. They’d never discussed sexual preference, it hadn’t come up and Cullen didn’t much care how the Inquisitor was inclined, that was his business. He decided to see how the options unfolded. Jane had said there were multiple ways he could go about it. 

When Jane returned home, Cullen was sitting on the couch once again, this time in the dark, still playing. 

“Cullen?” she asked in surprise, switching on the light. 

He turned towards her, wincing at the sudden light as his eyes adjusted. 

“Cullen are you ok?” she asked, sitting down next to him and putting her hand on his arm.

“Huh? Oh, yes, I’m fine.” He blinked. “I didn’t realise it was so late, sorry, I meant to start dinner,” he said pausing the game and getting up. 

Jane blinked in surprise. “Cullen you don’t know how to cook,” she said.

He stopped. “Yes, well…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I uh… I was going to try…”

She grinned at him. “It’s fine, let’s get takeaway tonight. I’m pretty tired and don’t feel like cooking. How was your day? Did you go to the park?”

“Oh, yes I did,” he said. “Actually… something strange happened. A man asked me to train him. Like I would my army recruits?” He frowned. “It was a bit weird actually, but he said he’d pay me and I figured you could use the extra money. My gold coins will only last so long and this gives me something to do during the day.”

“Oh that’s great Cullen! I might have to come past and watch some time,” she teased. He blushed and cleared his throat, causing her to laugh again. 

She pulled out her phone. “Right, now what do you want to eat?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was trying to think of a way Cullen could earn money, and then it occurred to me that what he's really good at is whipping people into shape. This seemed like a viable avenue for him to pursue. 
> 
> We'll be heading back to Thedas shortly to see how the rest of the gang are getting on, so don't despair! 
> 
> Comments appreciated as always :)


	7. Assimilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is settling into a routine on Earth - making friends, earning money. Would he go back to Thedas if he had the chance? 
> 
> *NSFW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update has taken so long, it's been a crazy couple of weeks at work and a lot going on personally so not really enough time to write all the things. This is quite a lengthy chapter though, so hopefully it makes up for it!
> 
> Also Jane and Cullen's relationship makes a bit of progress finally!
> 
> Just a note that this chapter is NSFW!

A few weeks passed and Cullen was settling into a routine. What had started as a couple of guys in the park had grown to become a group of about ten that met every morning to work out. Cullen was used to training recruits and in many ways this was similar. Granted there were no swords involved, but strength and fitness were a big part of training soldiers in addition to weapons training, so he adjusted his methods accordingly. 

He started every session with a run through the park, pushing the guys to better their time every day. The first day he realised that people on Earth led an overall more sedentary lifestyle than those on Thedas. The men were incredibly unfit, many of them stopping frequently with a stitch in their side, gasping for breath. Cullen would have to return to them, pushing them just a little harder every time. Little by little however they ran a bit further every day and after a few weeks of training their endurance had increased significantly. 

There were no weapons for them to train with here, and he didn’t want to lug what Jane called ‘weights’ to the park every day, so after their run every day he found other ways for them to build up their strength, with a range of bodyweight exercises. 

They were all left sweating and shaking after every session, a couple even running to the public toilets and vomiting in the beginning. They always came back however, and Cullen could see a significant improvement and a difference in how they held themselves after a while.

The man who had originally approached him in the park - Cullen had learned his name was Michael - came to him after a particularly demanding session one day, dripping with sweat, his shirt sticking to him pretty much all over as he staggered towards Cullen when they finished up. He was breathing heavily, drinking greedily from the bottle of water he’d brought with him.

Cullen always trained with them, not just supervising, as this was also pretty much the only workout he got, so while he was definitely fitter than these guys and would probably go for another run by himself before going home, he was also sweating from exertion. Strangely he missed training with a sword, and he wondered how he could incorporate something similar without “brandishing a weapon” as Jane called it, around in public. 

“Cullen,” said Michael. 

“Mike,” Cullen nodded, calling him by the name they all used for him.“Feeling ok?”

“Tired,” he said a bit breathlessly, “but it’s definitely getting easier. I don’t feel like I’m going to fall over any more,” he grinned. 

Cullen smirked. “Soon going to be time to push you harder then,” he replied. “That’s how you push your fitness otherwise your body gets used to it and becomes lazy.”

Michael groaned but this was what he’d signed up for when he asked Cullen to train him, so he nodded. “I actually wanted to ask you if you’d like to come out for a beer with me and some friends this evening,” he said. “If you drink beer I mean,” he said. “I know you fitness types often don’t drink or anything like that.”

Cullen frowned, not really knowing what he meant by “you fitness types” - training soldiers was his job - but he nodded his head. “No, I drink beer,” he said. “And uh… thank you, that would be nice.” 

Michael grinned. “Great,” he replied. “I mean, I don’t know if you have a girlfriend or anything… you’re welcome to bring someone along if you’d like?” Mike knew a few of his female friends who would definitely like to meet Cullen so this was also a way of fishing to find out. They’d never really discussed their personal lives and Cullen hadn’t volunteered the information.

“I have… a friend… that I live with,” Cullen said awkwardly. He didn’t really know how to explain his relationship with Jane. “I mean, we’re not together or anything… but I’d like to bring her if that’s alright?” 

“Sure, sure,” Mike replied. “I’ll whatsapp you the address?” 

Cullen nodded. Jane had set up his phone for him and although he wasn’t fluent in written English, he had gotten a bit better. She could always read the message to him if necessary. He’d been frustrated by the fact he couldn’t read anything in this world and Jane had found some children’s learning aids at a second hand book store. They began to do reading lessons in the evenings and Cullen tried to practice reading and writing during the day after training. 

Slowly but surely he began to learn to read written English - or Common as he still thought of it. His reading was stilted at first and Jane still had to help him with certain words, but it opened up a whole new world to him, granting him a freedom he hadn’t expected now that he no longer had to rely on Jane to explain everything to him. 

He could watch TV and read the news headlines although he often missed them as they went by too quickly for him. He could read menus, albeit slowly, when they went out, and importantly for Cullen, he didn’t need to rely solely on the audio when playing Dragon Age. It seemed like a small thing, but being able to understand the implications of many things when playing, especially the war table missions made a huge difference. He had stopped playing for a while because he’d needed a break emotionally and also because as the game became more text heavy he sometimes missed the nuance of what was being said. Being able to read better meant he was keen to start playing again. 

Michael and Cullen agreed to meet around seven. Cullen knew Jane would be home by then so the timing was fine.

After another run through the park by himself - he relished the alone time with just his thoughts - he made his way home, sending Jane a voice note like she had shown him to tell her they’d been invited out for drinks that night. 

After showering and changing he sat down to pick up where he’d left off in Dragon Age. They were in Skyhold now but he still needed more power to attend the ball at the Winter Palace. He was beginning to feel unsettled now as he started to move into uncharted territory. He’d arrived on Earth after Adamant so he was now no longer making decisions based on real life events, but rather on what he felt were the most logical choices in this instance. He was conscious of the fact that the decisions were variable; that these might not be the same ones Maxwell was making. It blew his mind a little to think that there was a whole alternate reality, multiple alternate realities in fact, of decisions made that could change so many aspects of his world. 

By the time Jane arrived home, Cullen had played through to the Winter Palace, keeping Celene in power. Morrigan had joined them, and they were fighting their way through the Arbor Wilds to find the Eluvian. 

He heard her key in the door and paused the game, getting to his feet as she walked in. 

“Hi,” she smiled at him. “How was your day? I got your message.” 

“Good,” he replied smiling at her, thinking to himself how beautiful she looked even after a long day at work and he ached to take her in his arms and hold her. His feelings for her had only gotten stronger over the past few weeks. Small things like the way she often sang and danced while she was busy with chores, to songs he didn’t recognise but which she told him were classics on Earth. Her love of music was evident and he found it infectious, often humming the songs to himself once he’d heard them a few times. He loved the way she fiddled with her hair when she was thinking about something, and how she felt uncomfortable when she caught him watching her. She didn’t like going out of the house without makeup on, but he thought she was at her most beautiful when she just woke up, no makeup on, hair standing on end. Perhaps it was because how he’d first seen her.

Realising he’d been lost in his thoughts and had perhaps paused a moment too long he rushed to fill the silence. “I hope you don’t mind going out tonight? Mike asked me to go and if I wanted to bring anyone and… well, I don’t know who’s going to be there so I’d rather have you with me.”

“Yeah of course,” she replied. She’d been preoccupied with hanging up her keys and putting down her bag so she hadn’t noticed his awkward silence. “Where are we going?”

Cullen pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the green Whatsapp icon. “Um… somewhere called… The Baron?” he said slowly, holding the phone out towards her. 

She glanced at the address. “Oh yeah, that’s just down the road. Actually we could probably even walk there rather than getting an Uber,” she said. “And it’s Friday so we don’t need to worry about getting home early or anything.” Glancing at the clock on the wall she said, “We’ve got an hour, so I’m going to shower and change and then we can take a walk there?” 

Cullen nodded. He wouldn’t shower, but he thought he might change his shirt. He’d bought a few extra things here and there as he’d needed them over the last couple of months, and now that he was earning some money, and coupled with that he’d received from exchanging some of his gold coins - Jane had explained they were quite valuable on Earth - he didn’t feel quite so bad about them going out as Jane no longer had to pay.

She went off to shower and he changed, sitting down to play a bit more Dragon Age until she was ready. He was about to reach the Well of Sorrows when she walked out of the bedroom. He glanced up and his breath caught in his throat. She was dressed quite simply actually. Jeans, a no sleeve button up shirt with a cropped jacket slung over her arm, and sneakers. He wasn’t sure if it was how she’d done her makeup, or perhaps just the way the light hit her face, but she looked breathtaking and his heart thumped uncomfortably. 

She caught him looking at her and tilted her head questioningly. 

“You look good,” he said, trying to be casual and cover up the fact he’d been staring. 

She blushed and looked down, ostensibly at her outfit, but actually to avoid eye contact with him. “Thanks,” she replied, clearing her throat. “You ready?”

Cullen nodded, saving his game and switching off the Playstation. 

_______________

They walked the few blocks to the Baron. Jane had never met any of the guys Cullen trained with, so walking in she relied on him to find the table and direct them. He looked around and spotted Mike and a couple of the other guys from the park, making his way towards them, Jane behind him. 

“Cullen!” Mike exclaimed as they walked up to the group. “I wasn’t sure if you would make it.” His eyes flicked to Jane and he smiled politely, extending his hand towards her. “Hi there, I’m Mike,” he said. 

“Jane,” she replied smiling warmly. Mike noticed how her eyes sparkled in the light. Cullen had said he wasn’t in a relationship with this woman hadn’t he? Mike wondered why that was the case. She was attractive and they looked good together. 

“What are you drinking?” he asked them and placed their orders as they sat down. 

Various people around the table greeted Cullen, introducing themselves to Jane. Those that knew him were a little curious - they knew nothing about Cullen outside of their training sessions, so it was unusual for them to see him in a social setting. And in clothes other than shorts and a tshirt for that matter. He was dressed simply in jeans and a tshirt, but he cut a striking figure with his height, build and good looks.

One of the women leaned over to Jane as she sat down. “Hi there. I’m Candice,” she said. 

“Jane,” Jane replied, putting her jacket on the back of the chair. “Hi.”

“So how do you know Mike?” Candice asked. 

“Oh, no. I don’t,” Jane smiled. “Cullen knows him. He’s Mike’s trainer.”

“I wondered why he was suddenly looking as if he was getting in shape,” Candice laughed. “If he’s got a personal trainer it makes sense.” Her eyes ran over Cullen. “Especially if he looks like that…”

Jane was amused, but smiled, merely raising an eyebrow as Candice’s reaction to Cullen’s physique. If only they knew it was absolutely not from hours in the gym, but more like time on the battlefield. With a fucking sword. 

“Yeah well, sometimes you just need a little motivation,” she replied. 

Mike watched Jane chatting to Candice, who was more an acquaintance than a friend but he’d bumped into her here when they’d arrived and it seemed like the polite thing to invite her to join them. 

“So how did you meet Jane?” he asked. “She seems pretty cool. I suppose I didn’t really know much about you outside of the park.”

Cullen chuckled. “Yeah it’s strange being in a social setting like this with you guys.” He gave Mike the same backstory they’d given Jane’s friends. The only difference was they didn’t know Cullen well enough to find it suspicious and accepted it on face value. 

“So… you live together. But you’re not… together?” Mike asked. “Like a housemate?”

Cullen looked at Jane, chatting to various people at the table. She was a more sociable person than him and comfortable in settings like these. “Yeah I suppose you could say that,” he said. 

Mike had never considered himself a particularly observant man, but he could clearly see Cullen’s feelings for this woman by the way he looked at her. A softening of his eyes perhaps. A look of longing. “And you haven’t said anything why?” he asked. 

Cullen turned to look at him, confused. “Said anything about what?” he replied. 

Mike raised an eyebrow. “About your feelings for her.” 

Cullen reddened, reaching up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he did so. Mike was surprised. He had only ever seen Cullen in complete control, confident and assertive. This was a side of him he’d never experienced and it was disconcerting. It also somehow made him more human. 

“Yeah well… it’s complicated,” he said. 

“Is it? Or are you just making it more complicated than it should be?”

Cullen studied Mike, who sat back in his chair, smirking at him. He sighed. “Perhaps. But…”

“But nothing. Have you had any indication that she wouldn’t welcome… something... from you?”

“Well, no…”

“Well then the least you could do is try. Or tell her. Or something.” He leaned forward. “Cullen. I don’t know what you’re so insecure about. Most men I know would die to look like you, and most women would love to be involved with you. Plus to top it all off you’re a genuinely nice guy. You haven’t even tried to see if she’s interested?”

“Jane’s not like that,” he said, looking down at his beer. “She’s interested in people, not what they look like… and even so, I mean…” He looked at Mike seriously. “You don’t really know me Mike, not outside of training. I have some…”

“Baggage,” Mike stated. “You have baggage. So what, we all do. It’s what makes us human.”

Cullen had never heard the term before, but he understood what it implied, and it made complete sense to him. “Yes, well. I have more than most I think.”

Mike studied him then shrugged. What kind of baggage could this man possibly carry he wondered. “Well you never know until you try right?” He clapped Cullen on the shoulder. “Another drink?”

_________________

Jane and Cullen walked home, both of them with a pleasant alcohol buzz from the evening, but neither of them particularly drunk. They chatted and laughed about the evening, Jane teasing Cullen about all the women who had been flirting with him. He blushed uncomfortably. He’d politely refused some of the more assertive women who came on strongly when they realised he and Jane were not in fact a couple, Candice being one of them, but even so one or two had been persistent. 

Arriving home, Jane unlocked the door and walked inside ahead of Cullen. He closed the door behind him and turned, accidentally walking right into her as she turned around from putting her keys in their spot on the table.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologised, reaching out to steady her, placing his hands on her upper arms.

“No, no, it’s fine,” she laughed. “Sorry, my fault.” She looked up at him, a smile on her lips. Cullen stared. Her eyes, still smiling, crinkled beautifully in the corners and the dim lights made them sparkle. He realised he was still holding her arms, but couldn’t bring himself to let go. 

Jane’s smiled faded, but she didn’t move, staying very still as she stared back at him. Her heart began to pound. God this man was beautiful, she thought. Her eyes flicked to the scar on his lip, as she wondered again how he’d got it. 

Cullen felt like he was in a dream as Jane’s fingers reached out and touched his lip, tracing the scar there. He froze, not wanting to break the spell. His skin tingled where she’d touched him and he turned his head towards her hand, his own reaching up to capture her fingers, kissing them softly. Her eyes widened slightly, pupils dilating and Cullen leaned in to press his lips against hers, feeling a surge of happiness and desire as she leaned into him, returning his kiss with enthusiasm. 

He pulled her towards him as she wound her arms around his neck, twining her fingers in his hair. Her lips parted, her tongue slipping inside his mouth and he moaned. It was as if every boundary they’d put up between them over the past few months fell away, replaced by every unfulfilled desire they’d denied themselves. 

He reached down, lifting her into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. He buried his face in her neck as he carried her through to the bedroom, revelling in the scent of her perfume and the underlying smell that was just her, Jane covering his face with kisses as he did so.

As they reached the bedroom, distracted by her kisses, his legs hit the edge of the bed and he staggered, losing his grip on her legs, dropping her on the bed and falling forward, catching himself before he landed on her. She burst out laughing as she landed and he grinned, the intensity of the moment broken by the misstep, but somehow all the more natural for it. He kicked off his shoes, leaning down to pull hers off as well as she watched him, her eyes dark and smiling, from the bed. He crawled forward towards her, capturing her lips again in another kiss, his hand tracing her shoulder and her arm, feeling the smoothness of her skin. 

He leaned down to kiss her throat and she arched her neck and back in pleasure. Encouraged, he bit gently and she gasped and squirmed in delight. He undid each button on her shirt, kissing his way down her torso as he did so, stopping when he reached the waistband of her jeans. Kneeling back, he pulled his own shirt over his head and Jane watched his muscles ripple in the light coming in from the window. She’d never realised how many scars he had and she reached out to touch them. 

“Are these from battle?” she asked curiously, sitting up, her fingertips tracing the lines on his chest. He shivered at her touch as he shrugged. 

“Mostly. I can’t remember where they’re all from to be honest. I’ve been training to be a warrior since I was thirteen, so it’s mostly a blur now.”

“And the one on your lip?” she asked. “I’ve always wanted to know…”

He raised an eyebrow. “Now? You’re asking me now?”

She blushed, her embarrassment barely visible in the dim light. “Sorry,” she smiled. “Bad timing for questions.”

He leaned closer, his lips barely brushing hers as he pushed her gently back down onto the bed. “Kirkwall,” he said softly. “I got it in the battle of Kirkwall.” 

Cullen kissed her more urgently this time, and what had started slowly became more fierce, more intense once again. Hands moved to undo buttons and pull at clothes as the desire between them built. With all their clothes finally scattered around the room, Cullen paused to take a breath, taking her in his arms and leaning in to smell the scent of her. His hands roamed across her body, stroking her skin, giving her goosebumps. One hand drifted down between her legs and as she parted them for him, his cock twitched with desire at the thought of entering her. 

His fingers stroked her, seeking out the nub that gave her pleasure and finding it, he rubbed gently, pressing harder when she bucked her hips towards him. He lowered his mouth to her breast, drawing the nipple into his mouth and sucking gently as he continued rubbing between her legs. Jane moaned and pressed herself against him, waves of pleasure sweeping across her body. 

Cullen switched positions, moving his hand and kissing his way down her body as he lowered his head between her thighs. She gasped as he ran his tongue down her slit, tasting her, slipping two fingers inside her even as his tongue continued where his fingers had so recently left off. Fingers and tongue moved in tandem and soon Jane was gasping and moaning in pleasure as Cullen brought her closer to the edge. He felt her clench around his fingers as she cried out in release and he eased off, letting her come down slowly from her orgasm. 

He began to kiss his way gently back up her body, when she put a gentle hand on his chest and reached over towards her side table. She opened a drawer and fiddled inside it for a second before withdrawing a small square. Cullen looked at her in confusion. “What’s that?” he asked. 

She chuckled. “Of course, you wouldn’t know. It’s a condom. It prevents pregnancy among other things.”

His forehead creased but he shrugged. “Alright, whatever you say.” He didn’t quite understand how it worked but she seemed to know what she was doing anyway. 

Jane tore open the packet before reaching for Cullen, her hand stroking the length of him firmly. He groaned in pleasure, feeling his cock twitch in her hand. She sat up and pushed him onto his back before lowering her head and taking him in her mouth. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of her mouth moving up and down, her tongue swirling around the head of his cock, and he groaned again as he felt her press forward and take him deeper into her throat. She sucked slowly, her head bobbing rhythmically. Too soon she was drawing back and her mouth disappeared from around him. He felt a brief flash of disappointment, but he opened his eyes to see her rolling the condom down his length. The sensation was unfamiliar but forgotten almost immediately as she straddled him, positioning herself as she sank down slowly, enveloping him in her wet heat. 

They both moaned in pleasure. Cullen was a big man, tall and well built naturally even without the templar training that had shaped him, and he filled her completely. She stayed still for a moment, allowing her body to adjust to his size, but both of them just enjoying the sensation of closeness for a moment. 

Jane rocked her hips, just once, slowly and Cullen’s hips bucked involuntarily. She smiled coyly, enjoying teasing him, and he chuckled, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer, burying himself deeper inside her. She gasped and moaned softly, leaning forward to press her lips hungrily against his. She began to ride him, sliding herself up and down his cock, rocking her hips on the down stroke every time. Cullen closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensation as his own pleasure began to build. He began to thrust upwards, grasping her hips, meeting her downward movements with an upward one of his own and before long their joining became more frantic, more intense. He opened his eyes to see her head tilted back, her eyes closed and lips slightly parted as her breath came heavier, a faint sheen of sweat on her skin, and he tried to burn the image of her like this into his mind.

Jane’s movements became quicker and she rode him harder and faster. Cullen could feel himself approaching his climax and the moment he felt her tighten around him and cry out, arching her back as she came, he groaned, his climax spasming throughout his body.

Jane collapsed forward on his chest as they both rode out the final waves of their orgasms, still joined together, her sweat mingling with his. He put his arms around her, kissing the top of her head softly as he held her and they both drifted towards exhausted, blissful, post-coital sleep.

_________________

Despite having woken a few times in the night to clean up and use the bathroom, Cullen awoke with a start, the remains of a bad dream lingering in his memory. His nightmares still plagued him, but they were definitely fewer than they had been prior to his arrival on Earth. He had frequently wondered if it had to do with the lack of magic on Earth or whether it was the change in his personal circumstances.

This morning, waking in unfamiliar surroundings; soft, early morning light coming in through the window, for a moment he was disoriented. As memories of the previous night returned he realised he was in Jane’s bedroom and the weight on his chest was her arm, flung across him as she slept. He turned his head to see her face, relaxed and beautiful in sleep, on the pillow next to him. He couldn’t help but grin - a flutter of happiness in his stomach at the unexpected turn of events, all thoughts of the nightmares driven from his mind.

Deciding he wanted coffee, he slowly and gently disentangled himself, sliding out of bed quietly so as not to wake her. She sighed and stirred in her sleep as his weight lifted from the bed but didn’t wake. Cullen walked naked out of her room, stopping briefly in his own to grab a pair of sleeping shorts. He made his way into the kitchen, switching on the coffee machine and taking some mugs from the cupboard. He leaned against the counter, a small smile on his lips. At this moment he was perhaps the happiest he had been in the last few years of his life. Since the disaster at Kinloch Hold. It wasn’t the sex, although Maker knows that had been wonderful, but rather the connection he felt to this woman. How had he been forced to travel to another world to find someone he loved? Because he knew he loved her.

His mind wandered to Thedas as he prepared the coffee. Now that he knew a bit more about Earth he was pretty certain there was a miniscule chance of him being able to return home. There was no magic here, and short of getting in touch with the people who made Dragon Age... who would he even contact? He briefly considered that thought and a soft laugh escaped his lips. What would he even say? “Hi, my name is Cullen Rutherford, and although I’m a character in your games I’m actually a real person and I was wondering if perhaps you knew how to get me home?” If it was him he wouldn’t take him seriously either. And now… would he even want to leave? He’d started to make a life for himself here, strange as it was. He was surprised to realise that in addition to Jane, he had friends, a job of sorts...

“What are you laughing at?” a soft voice said and he turned to see a sleepy Jane wander into the kitchen. She had pulled on an oversized t-shirt he knew she often slept in. 

“Hi,” he said, his lips quirking up into a smile. He opened his arms and she stepped into them, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, resting her cheek on his chest. He rested his on the top of her head and they stood like that for a bit, feeling the warmth of each other, taking comfort in the other’s presence. It was so natural that he found it hard to believe this hadn’t happened earlier. 

Eventually she pulled away and smiled up at him. “You didn’t answer my question,” she said. 

“Hmm?” he said. “Oh, laughing, yes. It’s nothing really. I was thinking, can you imagine if I asked the people who made Dragon Age if they knew how to get me home - they would think I was crazy and pretending I was Cullen. And then I was thinking…” he looked down at her and noticed a slight frown on her face. He reached out and cupped her chin. “And then I was thinking that I don’t even know if I would want to go home if I had the option.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. 

Jane blushed as he pulled away, a smile on her lips. Then she frowned. “I feel bad that I haven’t looked harder for a way home for you Cullen… I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have known where to start looking without magic, but then… well, then I liked having you around… And when it’s just a story in this world, it all seems so far away and surreal.”

Cullen leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “I know. And I like being around,” he smiled. He sighed and reached over to finish pouring the coffee. “I wonder… well I guess I just wonder how they’re doing. And how the battle against Corypheus is going... I feel helpless I suppose.“

Jane watched him as he poured the coffee, a frown on his face. She wondered if the Inquisitor would come looking for him or if they would simply write him off as dead. Surely someone must be able to figure it out, find out where he’d gone. She sighed as she realised who would probably know. 

“Um, Cullen… how far have you gotten in Dragon Age?” she asked. 

“Well I’d reached the Well of Sorrows just before we went out last night,” he said, handing her a cup of coffee.

“Mmm, ok.” She frowned. “Do you want to keep playing and discover everything for yourself or do you want me to tell you spoilers?” she asked, making her way through to the living room.

He raised an eyebrow. “Spoilers?” he said, following her and sitting beside her on the couch. 

“Oh, um, I mean like… do you want me to tell you what happens?” 

“Why are you asking me all of a sudden?” he said. “You’ve been content to let me discover all of it at my own pace so far.”

Jane sighed. “Well, I just… I was wondering if the Inquisitor will come looking for you. And if he does… well, there’s pretty much only one person I know of who would have been able to track you.” She took a tentative sip of her coffee, deciding it still needed to cool a little and placed it on the table.

“Solas,” Cullen said. 

Jane nodded. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, frowning. 

“Well, as I said, do you want spoilers?” She shrugged. “If you do, I’ll tell you. If you don’t then… well, you can keep on playing to find out, but you’ll need to put in some more hours this weekend to get there.”

Cullen considered, blowing gently on his coffee to cool it. “I suppose it will go quicker if you sit with me, correct?” he said. “To tell me what to do?”

She nodded. “We could do it that way, yes,” she agreed. 

“Ok, well, then… I’d rather do it like that if you don’t mind,” he replied. 

Jane shrugged and then grinned cheekily. “Sure. But first...” She took his coffee cup from him and placed it beside hers on the table. She leaned over and pressed her lips against his gently, her lips curling into a smile as he reached for her, pulling her into his lap. “I’m not quite sure how much of last night was alcohol induced, so I think we need to conduct some more tests.”

Cullen grinned as he nipped at her neck. “Many more tests…” he mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! So that was a pretty long one. Hopefully you enjoyed it - I still struggle a bit with writing smut so those are always the parts that take me the longest :P


	8. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of discovery. Solas discovers how to follow Cullen. Cullen discovers who is responsible for everything happening on Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than the previous chapter but trying to bring things together. As I've said before, I'm kind of making this one up as I go along because so much of the plot isn't linked to the stories, but I really enjoy writing Cullen like this. I know I haven't focused on his lyrium withdrawal or nightmares, but I feel like that's something that's linked to Thedas and he's not in Thedas. That doesn't mean they might not return at some point. I'm not sure yet :)

Solas meditated. He had explored every angle in the Fade, and other than his initial conclusions about Cullen’s path had come up with nothing further that would assist them in following the Commander’s course. He had sensed Cullen’s presence as a faint trail of light, but which carried the distinct signature of the man some called the Lion of Ferelden. 

Concentrating and breathing deeply, he reached out with his mind once again, following the trail until it suddenly disappeared. For it to end so abruptly, he had theorised that Cullen had passed through a portal as death would have left a different kind of signature, and so now he needed to figure out how the Inquisitor could follow him. 

He examined the trail from every angle, trying to see a thread that would help, but frustratingly he came up empty-handed. Unless… wait. There was a ripple… Conscious of disturbing the only link they had to the Commander, he reached out gently and touched it, and was rewarded with a ripple in what appeared to be empty space. 

Yes. This was it. 

He felt excitement grow in the pit of his stomach. He touched the trail again, to be rewarded with another ripple and… was that a flash of green? In an instant, Solas knew what needed to be done. 

It was time to bring Commander Cullen home. 

_____________

“Inquisitor. Might I have a word?” 

Max was training with Cassandra. Sweat ran down his back and his muscles ached, but this was a time he relished. It was a release of all the frustration he felt over everything that was currently going on. Over seemingly pointless tasks people kept asking him to do, but which his advisors insisted were essential for influence and morale. Over their lack of progress in finding Cullen. Over the impending threat of Corypheus. The training was a welcome distraction where he could focus just on his body and maintaining his fighting skills. 

He turned towards Solas, lowering his sword. “Yes Solas, what is it?” he asked, breathing heavily. 

“I have some information, Inquisitor. With regards to Commander Cullen.” 

Instantly Max perked up. “You do? Alright, let’s speak in the War Room.” He turned to the Seeker. “Cassandra would you join us please?” he asked. 

Cassandra lowered her weapon and nodded, and the trio made their way to the War Room, where Josephine and Leliana were already waiting for them. They clearly had not been informed as to why they were there, however, as they both looked up curiously when Max entered. “Inquisitor,” Leliana said. “Solas, Cassandra. I’m assuming this is something quite important?” 

Max turned to look at Solas who nodded. “I believe I have isolated and discovered a way to follow the Commander’s path,” he said. “Although I am not certain as to where exactly he has ended up, I do believe that at least one of us can follow him and return, with any luck bringing the Commander with us.”

“How exactly do you theorise we are going to do this?” Max asked curiously. 

“I believe the mark on your hand holds the key. We know from experience that it can open rifts as well as close them, and I am fairly confident that once you have identified the route Cullen took, you can follow him.” 

“Into the Fade?” Max asked. His last experience of being physically in the Fade had been at Adamant which had not been pleasant, although he would go if it was required of him.

Solas looked uncomfortable. “Not… exactly,” he said. “From what I can conclude, he might have originally passed through the Fade, but I think he somehow moved through a portal to… somewhere else…” He cleared his throat. “I am not entirely sure as to where however. To be honest I’m not even really sure how it’s possible and it might change how we understand our world...” He stopped as he realised he was going off on a tangent. 

“A portal,” Max said disbelievingly. “Are you certain?” 

“I’m fairly certain, although these things are never absolute of course,” the mage replied. “I’m as certain as I can be in a situation such as this.”

“Maker,” muttered Max. “It couldn’t be easy could it?” 

“Inquisitor,” Cassandra said. “I… do not want to be the one to highlight the pitfalls, but we also need to consider the fact… well, Cullen has been missing for two months.” She shifted uncomfortably. “We need to prepare ourselves… emotionally...” her voice caught slightly and she took a breath, “emotionally for the fact that he may not… be able to return.” 

Max stared at Cassandra thoughtfully. “I have considered it,” he said. “But I also cannot give up hope.” 

“Oh, I wasn’t suggesting… I mean that’s not…” Cassandra stumbled, turning red. Her eyes looked a little wet and Max realised she was quite emotional at the thought Cullen may no longer be alive. He had forgotten they were quite close. 

“I know Cassandra, I didn’t think you were suggesting we give up,” he said gently. He looked around the room. “So what now? Obviously, I will need to be the one to go. If there is a rift on the other side that needs to be opened, I’m the only one who can do it.” 

Everyone looked unhappy about this, but there were no arguments. They all knew it was true. 

“The question,” Leliana said, “is whether or not someone goes with you? And if so, who? I do not think it wise to send too many people.”

“I’m in agreement,” Solas replied. “I do not think more than two people should go in search of Cullen. I do not know how stable the portal might be and we already risk much by sending you Inquisitor. We cannot afford to send more than two.” 

“Do you think it wise to even take anyone else?” Max asked. “Perhaps it would be better if it was just me?”

“I think it would be beneficial to take a mage with you,” Cassandra said. They all turned to look at her. “It makes sense. You are a warrior, you should take someone with a different set of skills to your own. Solas I feel should remain here to be an anchoring presence if you need assistance when you return, which means either Dorian or Vivienne.” 

Max considered her words carefully. He nodded. “I agree. If another mage is present and we need them to boost the power of the mark to open a rift…” He left the sentence unfinished as they remembered Solas doing the same thing to close the rift that had taken the Commander from them. “So we are in agreement?” he asked, looking around the room. “I will open a portal to follow Cullen and take one of the mages with me. I think Dorian would be a good choice, considering his experience with unusual rifts.” There were nods of agreement. 

The Inquisitor turned to Solas. “Now Solas, the question remains - how are we going to achieve this?”

“Give me a few days Inquisitor,” Solas replied. “I need to check some calculations, but you may start your preparations in the meantime. I think we can confidently say you should be ready to leave within a week.” 

Max frowned but nodded. He was impatient to leave, but they’d waited two months, they could wait a while longer. As everyone left he made his way towards the library in search of Dorian. 

He found him sitting in his chair by the window, nose in a book. 

“Dorian,” he said, and the mage looked up, snapping the book shut. 

“Inquisitor. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He got up from his chair and Max noticed how the light from the window framed him, casting a flattering glow that made him seem almost ethereal. He wondered if Dorian knew it, and this was why he chose this particular alcove within the library - to accentuate his good looks. Actually, that was probably exactly why he chose it Maz thought to himself. He realised he’d been staring and his cheeks coloured, causing the mage to smirk slightly. 

“I uh… we’ve um… found, well hopefully found… Commander Cullen,” he stammered and cursed himself for how clumsy he sounded. He cleared his throat. “I’ll need to travel through a rift to get to him and I was wondering… well, I mean, I was hoping… that you might come with me?” 

“Me?” Dorian asked in surprise. “Well I’m flattered, but I wouldn’t have thought I would be your first choice.” 

“Actually you were,” Max said. He wondered if he minded that Dorian may read more into it than he’d intended, deciding he didn’t. “Solas needs to remain here to stabilise the rift on this side, and everyone agrees that the group needs to be small, only me and a mage. The choices were you and Vivienne, and given your experience with unusual rifts… well, I thought you the best choice.” 

Dorian coloured slightly, pleased, and the corner of his mouth twitched up in a half-smile. “And the prettiest of course,” he joked, causing Max to redden slightly again. The mage grinned. “I would be happy to accompany you. Perhaps we can talk a bit more about what we currently know and the particulars of this rescue mission?” He gestured towards his alcove. “I have wine…” 

___________________

“Cullen are you alright?” Jane asked. 

Cullen looked a little shell-shocked. They had been playing for most of the weekend, Jane directing him as to where to go and what to do in order for him to get to the end of the story quicker. 

“All along it was Solas!? Why didn’t you tell me Solas was responsible everything?” he asked, turning to her. 

“Would it have changed anything?” she replied. “It’s not like you or I could have prevented it happening.”

“I just…” he faltered.

“You feel betrayed,” she said matter of factly. 

“I… yes,” he said. “I trusted him…”

“Everyone who plays this game feels betrayed by Solas,” Jane said. “There are memes about it on the Internet,” she smiled. 

Cullen looked at her and frowned. “What? I don’t understand what you just said…”

She patted his arm. “Nevermind, I’ll show you one day. But yes, Solas, betrayed. We all feel it. You’ve only just finished the main game as well, there’s an expansion where you meet Solas again and he explains… well, not much to be fair, but a bit.”

“Is there… I don’t know, any way you can stop him?” Cullen asked. “Did I make the wrong choices?”

Jane looked at him sadly. “If there’s something to be done it’s nothing I know of Cullen, and I’ve played through this game multiple times. I’m sorry.” She sighed. “To be honest, I don’t think any of what happened… happens… was his intention. He hates Corypheus as much as anyone else, he just chose his tool poorly.” 

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” Cullen growled angrily. “That everything that happens was planned, or that it was all just an error that led to massive loss of life and destruction?” 

He got to his feet angrily. “I’m going for a run,” he said, disappearing into the bedroom to put on running shoes. 

Jane said nothing. She knew Cullen needed to get his frustration out, and he couldn’t hit something with a sword here, so a run seemed like a good option.

He emerged from the bedroom and walked straight out the front door, slamming it harder than he intended. Jane winced at the bang of the door, but she didn’t stop him. She knew he’d come back once he’d worked out some of his anger. 

Outside, Cullen broke into a run almost immediately, heading towards the park where he trained. Solas. Solas was responsible. He was responsible for all the death and destruction that had been visited on Thedas in the last few months. Solas and Corypheus. 

Cullen pushed himself harder and faster. He reached the park, it was only about a block from the house, and broke into a full on sprint. He pushed himself down the trail, his lungs burning, the trees flashing past him. He was so angry at Solas, and as he ran he poured all that anger into his limbs. Damn them! Damn them for causing the Breach. Damn them for the Wardens. Damn them for Adamant. Damn them gaining a hold over the Templars. 

The trail diverged and Cullen knew it ended at a river that ran through the park. He turned towards the river, slowing slightly until he staggered to a halt at the overlook point. He bent over, hands on his knees, breathing heavily, his breath coming in gasps. He cursed himself for not grabbing a bottle of water on his way out, but he’d been too angry. His chest heaved as he gasped for breath, his mouth dry as he swallowed saliva, the air hot and burning in his throat. 

He collapsed onto a nearby park bench as he caught his breath. It wasn’t often he pushed himself so hard because of anger, and indeed he struggled to remember the last time he’d been this angry. It burned hot in his chest. He’d trusted Solas. Trusted him with so much, and the betrayal was raw - a gaping wound that refused to close. He tried to breathe through it. To let it go, but he couldn’t forgive the destruction that had been wrought as a result. Even if Corypheus hadn’t survived his attempt to activate the orb, what Solas had intended was… unforgivable. The destruction of Thedas… The thought was horrifying. 

Finally Cullen got to his feet and took a much slower jog back home, trying to wrap his head around the thoughts whirling through his mind. By the time he stepped up to the door of Jane’s home, he was slightly calmer although still not his usual self. He reached into his pocket, realising he’d left the set of keys she’d given him behind. He sighed deeply and knocked on the door. 

Jane opened a few seconds later.

“I left my keys…” he said, but made no move to enter. 

“Clearly,” she said, a small smile on her face. 

Cullen stepped forward and caught her in his arms, pulling her to him. He was sweaty but Jane didn’t mind, she knew he needed the contact. She wrapped her arms around his damp back and they just stood there, her head on his chest. Eventually he pulled away, feeling their skin stick together slightly as they separated. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m sweaty. I should have waited till I’d showered.”

She shrugged and grinned at him wickedly. “Well now we both need a shower,” she said. 

Cullen grinned back, his anger at Solas momentarily forgotten. “You’re absolutely right,” he replied as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Jane shrieked in laughter as he kicked the door shut behind them and made his way to the bathroom.


	9. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas has found a way to follow Cullen. Cullen is settling into a routine on Earth, but still thinks about Thedas and the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ug, I'm so sorry, this has been an insane month! End of the year and all of that, please forgive me for taking so long to post this update! Anyway, I've had portions of this chapter written for a while, it just needed some finishing up and so on. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Those following Triangle, I'm still going to post something there soonish as well.

“How much longer Solas?” asked Max, not even greeting the elf as he walked into his rotunda. Solas was hunched over a book, scribbling notes on a piece of parchment on the table next to him. 

“A day less than yesterday Inquisitor,” the elf said dryly. “I thought you told me you’d waited this long, you could wait a few extra days?” He finished writing and looked up, arching an eyebrow and pressing his lips together in displeasure. Solas did not like to be rushed. 

Max grunted. “It’s been almost a week!” he exclaimed. 

“Would you like to end up lost somewhere unfamiliar like the Commander?” he asked. “Because if my calculations are incorrect and I’m not certain that you’re going to end up in the same place as him, then we have a problem. I need them to be as accurate as possible.”

Max scowled but he knew the elf was right. He sighed heavily. “Yes, fine. Finish your calculations,” he mumbled. 

Solas smirked at him. “The good news is that I just need to do one last check and if you and Dorian are prepared I think it likely you’ll be able to leave the day after tomorrow.” 

Max brightened at this. He’d been chafing at the inactivity and was becoming impatient. He grinned. “Thanks Solas, you’ve made my day!” he replied. 

“I am pleased to hear it,” Solas replied. “I’ll walk you through some preparatory exercises tonight.”

“Exercises?” asked Max uncertainly, “What do you mean?”

“Well you are going to be travelling through a portal, and I need to show you how to identify Cullen’s signature. You want to be sure you’re following the correct trail.”

Max nodded, frowning. “Right. Well, let me go speak to Dorian and we’ll join you about an hour before dinner, is that convenient?” 

Solas nodded his agreement before returning to his books and Max made his way up the stairs to the library. Dorian was ensconced in his nook once again, but looked up when Max entered, his face brightening.

“Are we almost ready to go?” he asked. 

Max nodded, noticing how perfectly shaved the sides of Dorian’s head were and he found himself wondering what the stubble there would feel like. He blinked and shook himself. “Almost,” he replied. “Solas says we should be able to leave the day after tomorrow.” 

“Wonderful!” Dorian exclaimed. “I must admit, while I applaud our elven friend’s thoroughness, I am feeling a touch impatient.” He placed the book on the table next to him as he got to his feet. “Now, I’m assuming some preparation will be required?” he asked. 

Max nodded. “He said something about exercises. Oh, that’s actually why I came up.” He’d momentarily forgotten what he’d come to speak to Dorian about. “We need to meet him just before dinner tonight.” 

Dorian glanced out the window at the sun. “Well that’s a few hours away still.” He turned back to Max. “Not to worry, I’ll be ready.” 

Max nodded, but didn’t leave, hesitating. 

Dorian looked at him curiously. “Was there something else Inquisitor?” he asked. 

Max bit his lip nervously. He was anxious, but didn’t want to show weakness in front of the mage. 

Dorian frowned. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ll keep it to myself if that’s what you’re worried about.” He huffed a soft laugh. “I’m well-versed in the area of secrets, as I’m sure my family would tell you.” 

“I’m… afraid, Dorian,” Max said softly and the mage’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the admission before he grimaced sympathetically. 

He put his hand on Max’s shoulder. “Maxwell, you are an excellent warrior, you have no reason to be scared. And it’s not like you’re unfamiliar with magic that it should make you uneasy…”

“Oh, no, I’m not worried about that,” Max said. 

Dorian cocked his head. “Then what?” he asked. 

Max sighed and walked over to the window, Dorian’s hand slipping off his shoulder as he did so. “What if… what if we don’t find Cullen. Or he’s dead. Or we can’t return and then Corypheus wins because I’m not here and the mark is the only way to defeat him.” He turned to look at the mage. “I’m scared because everyone is relying on me and what if I fail them?” 

“I… have no answer to that Max,” said Dorian. “These things are uncertain, because that’s what life is like. But I can say that I have every confidence in you. If anyone can find a way to defeat Corypheus it is you.” He sighed. “I’m not entirely sure I’m the right person to give you advice on this. I’ve spent my entire life trying to please others - and the pressure was unbearable. The fear of failure was at times overwhelming, which is part of the reason I left Tevinter, because my family tried to change... “ 

He stopped and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter and I’m making a mess of this, but the point is, we’re all scared. We’re all afraid of failure, but most of the time it’s our own insecurities holding us back. The people here know you’re trying your best, just as they are. You might be in the position of power, but they put you there because they believe in you. It’s not by chance.”

Max stood in silence for a moment. It didn’t lessen the pressure and fear of failure he felt, but Dorian’s words helped more than he knew, even if it was just because he didn’t judge Max for being afraid. He looked up to find the mage watching him, and he was momentarily distracted by the depth of concern on his face. He shook himself as he realised he’d been staring. Since when did he find Dorian so attractive? He didn’t have time for such distractions right now he chided himself.

“Thank you, Dorian,” he said softly. “For listening.” 

Dorian cleared his throat. “Yes, of course. Any time.” 

There was an awkward moment where they both just looked at each other. “Uh, well, I guess I’ll see you just before dinner then?” Max said. 

“Hmm? Oh, yes. Yes of course. Before dinner.”

Max gave a curt nod and made his way to the stairs. On impulse, he looked back to see Dorian leaning on the window sill, head hanging down like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He sighed and made his way down the stairs, missing the look of longing Dorian threw at him over his shoulder. 

__________________

Cullen awoke and with his eyes still closed, reached out beside him. He opened them and lifted his head when he felt an empty bed and looked around to find the sun streaming through the window and the covers thrown back on the side of the bed Jane had been sleeping. It seemed pointless to both of them to continue sleeping in separate rooms, although Cullen’s clothes stayed where they were. Jane’s closet was way too full to add his clothes to them, few as they were. 

He smiled to himself when he heard the faint sound of music coming through the door. He loved the fact that music was such a huge part of her life. Every time she was cooking, or working, there was also music in the background. She had this insane playlist on something she called Spotify of what seemed like thousands of songs, and she knew the words to almost all of them, something he found unbelievable. 

He got up, pulling on a t-shirt and padded through to the kitchen. Exactly as he expected as soon as he opened the door, he could hear her in the kitchen, making breakfast by the smell of it, singing along to a tune he had heard her sing before and which he knew was one of her favourites. Poking his head around the corner he saw her dancing in a way that in Thedas would be considered most unseemly, wiggling her hips to the music. 

_I’m too hot! Hot damn.  
Called a police and a fireman.  
I’m too hot! Hot damn.  
Make a dragon wanna retire man.  
I’m too hot! Hot damn.  
Say my name you know who I am.  
I’m too hot! Hot damn.  
And my band ‘bout that money. Break it down. _

_Girls hit your hallelujah. Woo!  
Girls hit your hallelujah. Woo!  
Girls hit your hallelujah. Woo!  
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to ya!  
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to ya!  
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to ya!  
Saturday and we in the spot,  
Don’t believe me just watch!_

Cullen leaned against the door, watching as she danced while cracking eggs into a bowl. Bacon was already sizzling in the pan and the domesticity of the scene was… comforting, he thought to himself.

Jane turned to see him watching and grinned unselfconsciously. “Were you just going to carry on standing there?” she asked him cheekily. “The least you could do is help with breakfast.”

“Well, I was just admiring the view,” he shot back, a grin on his face. 

She laughed, turning back to her eggs. “Watch the bacon to make sure it doesn’t burn please!” 

A short while later they were sitting down to breakfast. “I need to go out and buy some things today,” Jane told him in between mouthfuls. “Do you want to come with me or stay here? Or if you have plans that’s also fine.”

Cullen shook his head. “No plans. Happy to come,” he replied, still concentrating on his plate. 

Jane smiled to herself, marvelling at the fact that he’d become so comfortable on Earth in the short time he’d been here. She thought about the contingency plans she’d already put in place over the past few weeks, part of the reason she needed to go shopping that day, in case something happened and he was able to return to Thedas. She didn’t discuss them with him, knowing he’d only protest, but their conversation about Thedas had made her start to think she should try and plan as best she could, just in case. 

Cullen had an overinflated sense of duty to protect people, although she understood why he was like that. She loved him for it, but she felt he was naive in many ways. He expected the best of people, sometimes to the point of being blind to their faults. 

She thought back to what she knew about his time in Kirkwall and how badly that had ended for him. She only knew parts of the story of course, the bits detailed in the games, but it gave her some idea of what he’d been through. He had been thrust into a leadership role in the Inquisition because he was a natural leader and brilliant strategist, but he also held everyone to his own high, sometimes unrealistic standards.

“What do you need to get?” he asked, looking at her curiously as he picked up his coffee cup. He’d noticed she’d been lost in thought and wondered what was on her mind. 

“Oh, just some gadgets I’ve been meaning to buy for a while,” she said vaguely. “Some battery packs, chargers and so on.” She shrugged. “Things I’ve been too lazy to go buy, but I saw them on sale and thought I should get them now while they’re cheap.” 

Cullen shrugged. “Well I’ll come along for something to do.” He paused with his cup half way to his mouth for a moment, thoughtful.

“What is it?”

“I was just thinking… I don’t recall the last time I could say something like that. It’s not… something I’ve ever really had the luxury of doing. Or maybe the nobles do, but I’ve never been in a position like that before. I’ve been a templar since I was thirteen and there aren’t often times you just… relax. Even when you’re off duty.” 

“Makes sense. Your lifestyle is different to ours. A lot of things here are automated and done by machines. Most things there are still done by manual labour. We have the luxury of being able to do nothing if we want to relax, and our lifestyle here isn’t as physically demanding as in Thedas. We exercise to stay healthy, not out of necessity.” 

Cullen nodded. He felt more relaxed on Earth than he had in a long time, but he still worried about what was happening on Thedas. He’d spent the first few weeks of his time here worrying and trying to figure out how to return, but after a while he moved into an acceptance of what he considered his new life. He still thought of Thedas, but apart from his role as Commander of the Inquisition he didn’t really have many people he missed. His sister mainly. And Cassandra. But he’d never felt close to many of the companions in the same way he did to the friends he’d made on Earth, although he supposed that was partly his fault - he tended to be quite guarded around people. He’d forged real friendships with Jane’s friends however and with some of the guys he trained in the park, even in the short time he’d known them. 

He wasn’t sure if it was because he was no longer leading an army, but the war now seemed like a distant memory and then he felt guilty that it didn’t bother him as much as it used to. 

Finishing breakfast, they got ready and went shopping. Jane left him browsing in an electronics store while she went in search of the items she was looking for. He was standing looking at the display of televisions, all of them bigger than the last, and wondering how technology like this had become so common place to him in such a short time, when he heard a voice behind him. 

“It’s Cullen isn’t it?”

He turned to see a pretty woman who looked vaguely familiar and he frowned, trying to place her. “Yes. Um…”

“Candice,” she said, slightly disappointed he didn’t remember her name. “We met at drinks with Mike a few weeks ago.” 

Cullen remembered that night clearly, mainly because it was the night he’d gotten together with Jane. Actually, if he remembered correctly Candice had come on quite strongly and he’d spent most of the night trying to fend her off. Still, Cullen’s upbringing meant he was always polite, something Jane called being very British, although he wasn’t entirely certain what that meant.

“Oh yes, yes of course. Hi,” he said, smiling politely. “How are you?” he added, more for something to say than any real interest.

“I’m good. Better now I bumped into you, how have you been?” she said smiling and touching his arm. She didn’t see the woman he’d been with that night anywhere and they didn’t seem to have been together so she figured she’d try again with him. 

“Uh, yes I’ve been good thanks,” he replied, a bit taken aback at her flirting so quickly. He really didn’t know her very well and it made him quite uncomfortable. 

“So what are you up to?” she said looking around. “Shopping for a new TV?”

“Um… Not really,” he stumbled. “Just… browsing…” he said remembering Jane’s term for it. 

“Great. Well do you want to go grab a coffee?” she asked him. Cullen cursed himself, he should have made it sound like he was more busy.

“Uh… I’m...” he stammered as he rubbed the back of his neck, not sure how to get out of this situation. 

“Cullen, are you ready?” They heard a voice and both turned towards it. 

Jane had seen Candice talking to Cullen and grinned, remembering that night and how strongly she’d come on to him. She walked up, pretending to be distracted, looking down at her phone. Looking up, she pretended to have just seen Candice. “Oh hi. It’s Candice isn’t it?” 

A brief look of irritation flashed across Candice’s face. Clearly she hadn’t realised Jane was with him. 

“Oh, yes that’s right. Janet right?” she replied, purposely getting her name wrong. 

“Jane actually, but close enough,” she shrugged. 

“Did you, uh, find what you were looking for?” Cullen said, turning to look at Jane, grateful for the change in subject. He was all too conscious of Candice still watching him. 

“Yup,” she replied, holding up her shopping basket. “Should we go?” 

Cullen nodded gratefully.

“Well Candice,” Jane said turning towards her and looping her fingers through Cullen’s at the same time, “it was nice to bump into you.”

“Yes… you too,” Candice replied, unable to keep the note of disappointment out of her voice when she saw them holding hands. “Catch you guys later I guess.”

Cullen nodded his goodbye as they walked off, looking over at Jane who was smirking, clearly trying to contain her laughter. As they approached the checkout, she started giggling. “Did you see her face?” she laughed. “How did you get yourself into that situation?”

Cullen smiled. “Well I did just bump into her,” he said. “But then she started asking me if I wanted to have coffee and I got all flustered and… wait, you’re not upset?”

Jane looked sideways at him as she paid for her things. “Upset?” she asked. “Why would I be upset? You didn’t do anything.”

“Well, I mean… not that I want you to be upset,” he frowned, “but, in my, uh, somewhat limited experience… well, jealousy seems to arise and… I mean, I didn’t think our worlds were that different…”

“Do you want me to be jealous?” she asked him as they walked towards her car. 

“What? No! Of course not… I mean, not that there’s anything to be jealous of, but…”

Jane laughed. “I don’t own you Cullen,” she said. “Even if we were married I wouldn’t own you. You’re your own person.” She shrugged. “I can’t be jealous about something that was literally just a conversation. One you didn’t even initiate from what I could see.” 

Cullen smiled. Her comment made him like her even more. In a gesture of affection he would never have made in his former life as he thought of it, he reached out and put his arm round her, pulling her towards him. She leaned in to him, giving him a squeeze, feeling the warmth and comfort of him. 

This was where he was meant to be, Cullen thought to himself. He’d never been so sure of anything or anyone in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Notes. Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson feat Bruno Mars


	10. Shallow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen realises how he feels about Jane. Dorian and Max make the journey to Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this has taken so long! I'm on leave but I've been so exhausted from the year that I didn't feel much like writing a hell of a lot. To be honest, I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I've been procrastinating for so long that I think I just need to post it and get it out of the way. Sorry if a couple of things seem a bit off.

Max hadn’t slept as well as he would have liked. He’d gone to bed early, meditated before he slept as recommended by Solas, hadn’t visited the tavern even though Varric and Bull tried to twist his arm, but still tossed and turned the whole night. He’d slept, he just hadn’t woken feeling rested. 

Knowing he needed to be alert, he washed, then made his way down to the dining hall for coffee and breakfast. Collecting some food, he slid into a corner and nursed his cup of coffee, trying to avoid the other occupants of the hall. 

“Did you sleep as badly as I did?” a cultured voice said from behind him. He turned to see Dorian approaching. The mage sat down opposite him, a cup of coffee and a plate of food in hand. 

Max sighed. “I did,” he replied. “Just anxious is all.” 

The mage nodded, saying nothing but the silence was comfortable. Slowly the hall began to fill up as the castle stirred and sprang to life, and the overall chatter became louder. 

“Did Solas say what time we should be ready?” Dorian asked. 

Max glanced out the window at the sun. “He didn’t, but I had the distinct impression he would like to do this earlier in the day.” He shrugged. “Or maybe that was just because he knew I was anxious and didn’t want to draw it out longer than necessary.” He took another sip of his coffee. “I was planning to go and find him after breakfast.”

Dorian nodded his agreement and looked back down at his plate. He wasn’t really hungry, but Solas had emphasised the importance of having something light in their stomachs before attempting the journey. He forced himself to take a bite and chew but the food sat heavy in his gut. 

Not long after, Varric joined them. The dwarf plonked himself down with only a cup of black coffee. Max knew he’d been drinking the night before but Varric seemed to have the ability to drink like a fish and be completely fine the following day. This morning was no exception. His chest hair looked as magnificent as ever. 

The dwarf took a sip of coffee and looked around the table. “Well you both seem unusually serious. I presume today is the day?” 

They both nodded but said nothing. Varric sighed. “Well I can’t say I envy you. But… well,” he looked unusually sombre, “I’ve lost far too many friends over the years and I would hate to add another three to the list.”

Max patted Varric’s shoulder as the dwarf peered morosely into his now half empty cup, draining the last of it and excusing himself. Dorian and Max looked at each other. Neither had finished their breakfast but clearly they weren’t going to eat any more. Discarding their food, they made their way to Solas’s quarters.

_________________

Cullen’s phone beeped. He had just walked through the door, back from a training session and was dying for a shower. He’d pushed the men and himself hard that day and they were all feeling it. 

Glancing at the screen, he could see a message from Isaac. For all his suspicion when they first met, Isaac and Cullen had become quite friendly, especially now he and Jane were in a relationship. Cullen was still somewhat guarded, not because he didn’t like the man, but rather because he was cautious of giving away too much about his origins. He remained vague when questioned about his education and upbringing, but was able to speak about his family and his role in the military if he didn’t refer to swords and the specifics of battle. 

He’d become significantly more comfortable with technology as a whole, and although he still struggled with some words, he could read English relatively fluently now. The spelling of certain words still confounded him sometimes, but he thanked the Maker for something Jane called ‘autocorrect’. If he wasn’t sure that usually helped him out. 

_Isaac: Hi! You have plans today? I’m on leave and thought I might catch a movie if you want to join?_

_Cullen: Sure. I’ve just walked in and need to shower. What time?_

_Isaac: Movie starts at 2. It’s 11:30. Pick you up in an hour and we can grab lunch first?_

_Cullen: Sounds good. See you then._

He put his phone down on the kitchen table, the thought crossing his mind that he hadn’t understood any of their slang when he’d first arrived. Then he realised he didn’t actually know what Isaac meant by a movie. He’d watched movies with Jane on the TV, but surely he couldn’t mean that? 

He picked up his phone again and texted Jane. 

_Cullen: Isaac has asked me to go to a movie. What does that mean?_

She replied moments later with the yellow laughing, crying face he’d come to realise meant she was actually laughing out loud.  
_Jane: Sorry, I should have realised you wouldn’t know._

_Jane: It’s a movie like we watch on my TV, but on a huge screen with sound coming from all around you._

_Jane: Might be a bit overwhelming at first, but pretty sure you’ll enjoy it._

_Jane: I think._

_Jane: You eat food called popcorn and drink Coke or something. You’ve had that when we’re out. If you’re uncertain just agree with Isaac and let him order. :)_

_Cullen: Ok. I’ll try. Thank you._

_Jane: Cool. Enjoy! See you later. X_

Jane signed most of her texts to people she was close to with an X. At first Cullen had been very confused but he had learned she meant it like a kiss. He still found it strange, but was getting used to the way people interacted on Earth. They were so much more… familiar with each other, than on Thedas. 

Realising he was getting lost in his thoughts and procrastinating, he put his phone down again and went to go shower. He washed and dressed, timing it almost perfectly. The bell rang as he was making sure he had everything with him. 

“Hi!” Isaac said brightly as Cullen got into the car. He leaned over and gave him a brief hug, again an interaction that Cullen still found at times unusual. People here were very physical with their affections, sometimes hugging and kissing people they didn’t even really know. 

“Hi,” Cullen replied. “Thanks for picking me up.” 

“Sure,” Isaac said, backing the car out of the driveway. “I thought we could have lunch first then go watch a movie? We have enough time. Do you have any movie preferences?” 

Cullen nodded in agreement. “No preference,” he replied vaguely. “Happy to leave it up to you.” 

Isaac laughed. “You may regret that,” he grinned. The drive was short - the same mall he’d gone to with Jane when he first arrived. 

“Thoughts on food?” 

“Burgers?” Cullen shrugged. “I’m not fussy.” He tended to stick with things he’d had with Jane in social situations such as these so as not to trip himself up. 

He followed Isaac to a restaurant, chatting about nothing in particular, and they ordered, Cullen saying a silent prayer of thanks that at least he could read the menu now.

“So…” Isaac began as he leaned back in his chair, his face breaking into a grin. “You and Jane…” 

Cullen looked at his cautiously. “Uh… yes?” he replied awkwardly. 

Isaac’s grin just got wider. “I was so convinced you were together when we first met, but I am glad to see things worked out that way in the end. She’s happy, and that’s nice to see for a change.”

Cullen smiled in relief. He hadn’t been sure where this conversation was going. “Yeah, well… things kind of just happened… but… she’s… unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” he said honestly, fumbling over his words a little. 

The pair ate and made their way down to the cinema. Cullen let Isaac choose the movie, something that appeared to be about people dressing up in costumes and saving the world. He wasn’t quite sure of the context but couldn’t ask without revealing how little he knew of Earth. 

As they were walking into the cinema, he checked his phone to see a message from Jane. 

_Jane: Remember, they’re actors. The story is made up, it’s not real._

He smiled to himself, wondering for a moment how she knew what he’d been thinking. 

Cullen enjoyed the movie, if he didn’t start asking too many questions about what was going on, but he did spend a large portion of it, thinking about Jane. 

________________

“Are you ready?” Solas asked.

Max took a deep breath. “As ready as I can be under the circumstances,” he replied. A few of their companions had gathered and were standing around watching anxiously. Sera had flat out refused, Cole was nowhere to be found, but Vivienne, Blackwall, Varric and Bull were all present.

Solas studied the Inquisitor for a second and then nodded. “You’ve been in the Fade before, both physically in Adamant, but also in your dreams,” he explained. “This is slightly different to what you’ve experienced before. From my calculations, you’ll need to open a rift and physically enter it, but not pass all the way through. I realise this sounds confusing as you’re not a mage, but as you enter, you must reach out with your mind as I taught you, and find Cullen’s signature. Follow the trail, and once it disappears, you’ll find an… anomaly. Like a ripple in the air. It is here you will need to use the mark to open another rift. This should transport you to wherever Cullen is currently trapped.” 

“How do I not enter the Fade when I open the rift?” Max asked. 

“The inbetween space is thin. When you entered the Fade physically at Adamant, you fell through, so you would not have noticed the barrier, but as you step through you should notice a kind of.... doorway, I suppose,” the elf explained. “Or rather like, a threshold. Instead of stepping all the way through, you must stay on that threshold while you search for Cullen.” 

“And if I step through accidentally?” the Inquisitor asked nervously. 

“I… am uncertain,” Solas replied, his forehead creased in concern. “I would merely advise against it.” 

“Oh, well that makes me feel so much better,” Dorian muttered. 

Solas merely ignored him. “Shall we get started?” he asked. 

Max nodded nervously. 

“Alright Inquisitor,” the apostate said calmly. “Like we discussed. You must harness the power of the mark, reach out, and open a rift.” 

Max took a breath. Raising his arm, he opened his hand in much the same way he closed rifts, and let the surge of power from the Anchor flow through him. The air began to crackle and swirls of green appeared. He was reminded of opening the rift in the Fallow Mire, but this required a bit more effort as no rift had existed here previously. 

“That’s right Maxwell, now open the rift!” Solas called.

Max could feel the air rushing in his ears and everyone sounded very far away. He could hear a faint whine building in intensity. He reached his hand towards the green mass coalescing in the air, and with a tearing sound, it split open. 

“Stand by in case any demons come through,” Solas shouted to the others, all of whom already had their weapons out.

Max took a last look around the room. “Solas, will the rift close behind me?” he shouted over the noise. 

“I believe so,” the mage nodded. 

Max clenched his jaw, nodded to Dorian, and the two of them stepped forward into the rift, which snapped shut a second later, leaving nothing behind but some dissipating green smoke. 

________________

Jane was already home when Cullen walked through the door. As per usual, music filled the house, a song he’d heard her play before, it was one of her favourites. She was singing along softly while sitting at the kitchen table, her laptop open in front of her. 

_Tell me something boy_  
_Aren’t you tired trying to fill that void?_  
_Or do you need more?_  
_Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?_

_I’m falling_  
_In all the good times I find myself_  
_Longing for change_  
_And in the bad times I fear myself_

She’d heard him come home and had shot him a quick “hi” and a smile, but he could see she was busy typing and clearly in the middle of something. He put his keys down and stood by the door just watching her. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and not let her go, but right now he needed to just look at her. 

_I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in_  
_I’ll never meet the ground_  
_Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us_  
_We’re far from the shallow now_

_In the shallow, shallow_  
_In the shallow, shallow_  
_In the shallow, shallow_  
_We’re far from the shallow now_

She looked up when she realised he hadn’t responded and noticed him staring at her. She smiled self-consciously. “What?” she asked. “Is everything alright?”

_I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in_

“Everything is perfect,” he replied, taking a step towards her. “I just realised something wonderful.”

_I’ll never meet the ground_  
_Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us_

“Oh yeah?” she asked. “What’s that?”

_We’re far from the shallow now_

“Jane. I…”

_In the shallow, shallow_  
_In the shallow, shallow_

She cocked her head curiously. Cullen was behaving quite strangely.

_In the shallow, shallow_

“I love you.”

Her eyes widened and she just stared at him. He resisted the urge to rub the back of his neck, conscious of the fact that this was his nervous tick. Then her face broke into a smile and in a matter of seconds she stood up and crossed the distance between them, pressing her lips against his as he pulled her into his arms. 

_We’re far from the shallow now._

___________________

Max stepped into the rift, conscious of Dorian right behind him, as well as the fact that he must stay on the threshold as instructed. Worried he might somehow go too far, his heart beat unpleasantly hard, but the moment he stepped through, everything Solas had told him fell into place. 

“Dorian?” he asked. The space was strange, somehow timeless and there seemed to be little suggestion of depth. He was worried that somehow Dorian was no longer with him. 

“I’m here,” the mage’s voice sounded behind him and he turned to see the reassuring presence of the mage at his shoulder. 

“We need to look for Cullen’s signature,” Max said. “Solas gave me an indication of what to look for, but, well you’re the mage…”

“I understand,” Dorian said, reaching out his senses. “Give me a moment.”

Max waited patiently, although the threshold hurt his brain. 

“I think…” the mage started, then hesitated. “No, wait, yes, I’ve found it.”

“Are you certain?” Max asked. “Solas took some time…”

“I know what we’re looking for now however,” Dorian reassured him. “And it wasn’t Cullen’s signature he struggled with, it was the fact that it disappeared while following it.” Max felt a hand in his and he gripped it, trying to ignore the thrill that ran through him at the feel of Dorian’s hand in his. “I’m going to keep hold of your hand so we don’t get separated,” Dorian said. “This space is very disconcerting and I want us to remain focused. Follow me.”

Keeping a hold of Dorian’s hand, Max followed the mage. “Can you sense it?” Dorian asked him. 

Max hesitated, trying to reach out his senses to feel Cullen’s presence. Not being a magic user, it took him a bit of time but eventually he became aware of trails that he could only describe as light, that he sensed more than saw, but he got a strong sense of personality from them. One in particular projected the same kind of feeling he often had in the Commander’s presence. 

“I… yes, I think so.”

“Right, let’s follow his trail,” Dorian said, “and look for where it ends.”

They followed Cullen’s trail - Max didn’t know for how long, time and space were strange here along with everything else - they appeared to be walking but not really going anywhere. It was only that the trail didn’t run in a straight line that he could garner any movement at all. Suddenly Dorian halted, Max almost stumbling into him. 

“Can you still sense it?” he asked. 

Max looked. He could see where they’d come from, could see Cullen’s trail, and then… it just vanished. “This must be it,” he said, unable to keep the note of excitement out of his voice. “Solas said to look for a ripple…” 

Dorian reached out. It seemed as if it simply ended, like a piece of string that had been cut, but if he examined the end of it it looked less like it had been cut, but rather it almost faded quite suddenly. He ran his fingers gently of the spot the trail ended and was rewarded with a visual distortion, indeed something like a ripple. It hurt his eyes and brain even more than space of the threshold.

“Did you see that?” Max asked. 

“I did,” the mage replied. “If we follow Solas’s instructions, you now need to attempt to open a rift, here in the threshold.” 

Max nodded, his stomach a ball of nerves. He reached out his hand, and the Anchor flared into life, much quicker and seemingly more powerful than it was on Thedas. 

“Curious,” Dorian murmured, filing this bit of information away for another time. 

Max pictured Cullen and his trail in his mind, willing the rift to open wherever the Commander had gone. The high-pitched whine he associated with the closing of rifts in Thedas began in his ears and the nothingness of the threshold space split apart in front of them. 

With a last glance between them, they stepped into the rift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shallow - Lady Gaga and Bradly Cooper. Songwriters: Andrew Wyatt / Anthony Rossomando / Mark Ronson / Stefani Germanotta  
Shallow lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group, Concord Music Publishing LLC
> 
> Happy holidays!


	11. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxwell and Dorian arrive on Earth in search of Cullen.

Max awoke to the sound of singing. A deep, baritone voice that sounded familiar. He looked around the strange room - it appeared to be a bedroom - and got to his feet, surprised at how unsteady he felt as he stumbled slightly. He tried to think back - his memory was slightly muddled. Solas had helped send him and Dorian through the Fade to look for Cullen, but… no wait, not the Fade. He was confused. He thought back and vaguely remembered a sensation of walking through nothingness, following a trail, then a bright light and he was waking up here. It wasn’t anything like what he had been expecting. He looked around for Dorian and saw the mage getting to his feet beside him.

“Are you alright?” Max whispered to him.

Dorian nodded. “This is… not what I was expecting,” he whispered back. “Where are we?” 

Max shrugged. “I’m uncertain, but be prepared for trouble.” 

He could still hear the singing from close by, and a kind of strange hissing noise. The two of them exchanged glances and made their way towards the sound, drawing their weapons and stepping quietly. They poked their heads around the corner cautiously. 

They saw a blond man with his back to them, barefoot, shirtless and wearing only a pair of strange, loose trousers slung low on his hips. He was busy doing something with crockery by the sound of it, although Max, and Dorian a step behind him, couldn’t quite see what. The hissing noise was coming from an object on the long table underneath a window. He was singing to himself while he stood there. 

_But it’s much too strong, to let it go now..._

They both watched in shock for a moment. Max recognised the voice and the frame of the person standing in front of him, but couldn’t reconcile this singing, relaxed and currently shirtless version of the man he was looking for with the memory he had in his head.

_We gotta be extra careful_  
_That we don’t build our hopes up too high_  
_Cause she’s got her own obligations, and so do I…_  
_Me and Mrs… Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones..._

“Cullen?” 

Cullen spun around at the sound of his name, almost dropping the mug he held in his hand. He put it down shakily on the counter. “Inquisitor!” he exclaimed in shock, his eyes widening at the sight of them. “Dorian! You’re here!” 

He realised he had no shirt on, looked around and grabbed a t-shirt lying over the back of a chair, pulling it over his head. He crossed the distance between them and pulled the Inquisitor into a hug. Max froze in shock - he had never known Cullen to be an affectionate man - then tentatively put his arms around the Commander, patting his back awkwardly. 

Cullen stepped back and looked at him. Max looked the same, perhaps a little more tired and slightly more lined around the eyes, but otherwise unchanged. Dorian looked suave and well put together as always, although he was also looking at Cullen with uncertainty. Cullen on the other hand, was the most rested they had ever seen him. His eyes were devoid of the dark circles everyone was used to seeing from lack of sleep and lyrium withdrawal. His hair was slightly longer and more unruly than they were used to, curling naturally around his face. He looked… happy. 

“Inquisitor,” Cullen began, “Max. How are you here?”

“Solas.” Max stated, matter of factly, falling into leader mode immediately as he debriefed his Commander. “When you were sucked into the rift we looked everywhere for you. Solas spent weeks searching the Fade until finally he found… not you… but a memory of you he called it. Then he spent further weeks researching and trying to find… the path you’d taken.” He sighed and shook his head. “We spent a lot of time trying to find you, but finally we managed to open a path to…” he looked around, “wherever this is.” 

Cullen opened his mouth to reply when a woman’s voice came from the other room, causing them all to look around. Max’s hand immediately rested on his sword and Dorian raised his staff. 

“Cullen?” she called. “Who are you talking to?” 

A woman came around the corner, dressed in… well, Max and Dorian counted it as very little, but Jane was in fact, wearing sleeping shorts and a t-shirt. She saw a dark haired man dressed in armour with a green mark on his hand, and a swarthy, good-looking man with a moustache and she threw her hands in the air. “Oh for fucks sake, when will people stop appearing in my fucking living room?” she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. 

Max looked at her in shock, lowering his weapon slightly. Who was she? And what did she mean? 

“Jane, this is…” Cullen began. 

“The Inquisitor,” she sighed. “Yes, yes…”

The men looked at each other, Cullen looking at Max apologetically. She looked the Inquisitor up and down. “Trevelyan obviously.” She looked over at Cullen. “Maxwell you said?” Cullen nodded. “And Dorian Pavus of course.” She grinned at the last one and Dorian made a little bow, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“My reputation precedes me everywhere I see,” he quipped. 

“Fuck,” she stated. “I’m going to need coffee for this shit,” she said as she walked into the kitchen. 

“Me too please!” called Cullen after her. “I’ve boiled the kettle!” 

Max looked at him in disbelief. This wasn’t a Cullen he was familiar with. “What is going on?” he asked incredulously. “Who is she?”

Cullen sighed. “It’s a long story…” He shrugged and gestured towards the couch. “I’ll explain over coffee.” They all sat awkwardly for a moment. “So, uh… how long have I been gone from Thedas?” he asked. 

“Just over two months,” Max said. 

Cullen nodded. “Ok, about the same then,” he said. “I was wondering if time moved differently here, but you both still look the same…” 

“Cullen,” said Max urgently, “Where is here? Where are we?” 

Cullen’s mouth quirked up. “We’re on a place called Earth,” he said. “It’s been… surreal to say the least. There’s no magic, but their technology is… far beyond anything you and I could ever have imagined.” He ran a hand over his face. “I was very overwhelmed when I first arrived, but it becomes… commonplace after a while, I guess. You adjust quickly and I don’t really notice it as much anymore unless I consciously think about it.” He was silent for a moment. “I’ll explain more later, but what of Corypheus?” he asked, changing the subject. “The war?”

They all looked up as Jane re-entered, carrying four cups of coffee on a tray. She put the tray on the table, handed cups to Max, Dorian and Cullen wordlessly and sat down next to the Commander, close enough that their knees touched, the Inquisitor noticed. 

Max’s face was strained. “It’s been… hard,” he said. “When we lost you… well, the morale of the Inquisition suffered… We had a few desertions although for the most part the soldiers are still committed to our cause. Cassandra has done an admirable job of leading the troops, but… she’s not you,” he said regretfully. “We’ve had some new information on Corypheus just before I left to come here,” he continued, “but no one was willing to act until we at least attempted to bring you home.” 

Cullen looked stricken, and he sighed heavily. Jane squeezed his knee sympathetically and he captured her fingers in his, causing Max’s eyebrows to raise in surprise. Dorian just smiled to himself. This was definitely a Cullen he’d never seen before. What’s more is that Cullen didn’t seem to notice Max’s reaction, not reverting to his usual self conscious habits. There was no blush or neck rub present, no stumbling over his words. He was completely unselfconscious in his affections. Interesting, the mage thought to himself. 

“Have you taken losses?” he asked, his voice strangled and Jane was reminded about how much he cared about his soldiers.

“Some. Not as heavy as they could have been thanks to Cassandra,” Max replied. “But Cullen… we need you. The Inquisition needs it’s Commander. You need to come home.” 

Cullen looked at him and frowned. “What do you think I’ve been doing? Do you think I’ve just been here taking a break?” Cullen’s voice began to rise.

Max looked startled at Cullen’s anger. “That’s not…” 

“You’re acting like I left my post out of choice, but it’s not as if I asked to be pulled into that rift! In fact, I was saving your life when I did so!” the Commander argued, his jaw clenched. 

“Cullen…” Jane said soothingly, putting a hand on his arm. “Calm down, he wasn’t blaming you.” 

“Yes. No. I mean that’s…” Max stopped himself from raising his voice and took a breath. He rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, it’s just been… hard these past few months without you.” 

Cullen’s shoulders lost some of their tension, but he was clearly trying to rein in his irritation. 

“The men felt your loss keenly and the Red Templars have been gaining traction, causing disruptions… Corypheus is after an Eluvian in the Arbor Wilds and we need to get to him before...”

Cullen and Jane exchanged looks. 

“What?” Max asked, noticing the look. “Why are you looking at each other like that? What am I missing?”

“Tell them,” Jane said, nodding. 

“Tell me what?” Max said, irritation beginning to creep in. “How does she know…?”

“He’s not after the Eluvian,” Cullen said. “He’s after the Well of Sorrows at the Temple of Mythal. He wants its knowledge.”

“What? How do you know that?” Max demanded, switching to Inquisitor mode instantaneously. 

“It’s complicated,” Jane said.

“Of course it is…” murmured Dorian and Jane’s mouth twitched in amusement, but she held in the laughter. 

“But suffice it to say, your world, your battle against Corypheus, it’s part of a story in my world…” Jane said. “Cullen didn’t believe me at first either, but… well he does now.” 

Cullen nodded, indicating that she should carry on. “He arrived here after Adamant, and if you’re on your way to the Arbor Wilds now it means Morrigan is with you and you’ve already been to the Winter Palace. Who sits on the throne?” she asked.

“It’s… Celene,” the Inquisitor responded. “Celene still rules. Wait, you know all of this?” he asked, looking confused. 

“Ok, then you still have time if you return soon,” she said, ignoring his question. 

“Still have time... Wait… what do you mean?” Cullen asked, turning to her in disbelief, his heart lurching. “Do you... want me to go back?

She reached for his hands. “No, I don’t want you to go back…” she said, sadly. She looked him in the eyes. “But can you in good conscious not go back and leave the Inquisition to fight Corypheus without you? Would you not resent me for keeping you here when you finally have a way home?” 

Cullen frowned, then abruptly stood up, pulling his hands from hers. “I… don’t know,” he said. “I need to think.” He walked outside, leaving Jane with Max and Dorian.

There was an awkward silence. 

The Inquisitor studied the woman who had such a profound effect on the Commander. “This… is not what I expected,” he said, looking troubled. “I had thought to find Cullen and bring him home. I expected to find him either unable to return or held captive or something, but instead I find him… changed… and with you.” 

A ghost of a smile touched her lips as she remembered Cullen’s confession from the night before. Max shook his head. “I don’t rightly know what to do.”

“Well, he was unable to return to you,” Jane said, “that much is true. We looked for a way but the reality is without magic in my world there wasn’t much we could do, or at least nothing we could figure out. I wouldn’t even have known where to start looking.” She shrugged. “And changed? No, Cullen isn’t changed, he’s just no longer burdened by responsibility. This is Cullen without the weight of the world and his guilt on his shoulders.” 

“Guilt?” Max said confused. “Why does Cullen feel guilty? None of what happened is his fault.” 

Dorian huffed a soft laugh, and although Jane smiled at Max, it didn’t quite reach her eyes and held a cold edge. “How well do you know your Commander, Maxwell? Do you know how he feels every time he loses a soldier under his command?” Her voice rose slightly as a self-righteous anger began to simmer within her. “Do you know the pain he’s been through with the lyrium withdrawal? Do you know the guilt he feels over his past? How he’s trying so hard to change?” 

Max’s guilty face told her everything she needed to know. 

“Yeah. Well perhaps if you’d thought a bit more about that you might have realised that Cullen might be the Commander of the Inquisition, but he’s also a man,” she snapped at him. “He suffers, and he’s uncertain and he doubts himself when he shouldn’t. He also laughs, and loves and knows how to have a good time. He’s not always serious, and he’s made friends here who like him for who he is, not because they’re intimidated by his position.” 

Max frowned. “I know who Cullen is,” he said, his temper rising as he struggled to get a hold of it. “Who are you to tell me…” he started.

“I’m the person who loves him,” she said cutting him off as she struggled to gain control of her temper. “I’m the person who’s looking after Cullen and his emotional wellbeing first because I don’t expect more of him than he can give.” She stood up abruptly. “But you’re right. Who am I? I’m no one.” 

She turned and stalked out of the room, just as Cullen re-entered, noticing the scowl on Jane’s face. “What was that about?” he asked Max, frowning. 

Max turned to Cullen, a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Nothing, don’t worry about it Commander,” he said, using Cullen’s title in an effort to sway him. He could see Cullen was happy, but he felt justified in trying to convince him to come back. The Inquisition needed him. 

“How are you planning on getting back to Thedas?” Cullen asked, taking a seat. Max noticed he specifically didn’t include himself in that statement. 

“Solas seemed very confident that if I could open the rift to come here, I could open one for us to return,” he replied. “Dorian came with me because everyone agreed that we may need a mage to help boost the power of the Anchor, and he has the most experience with unusual rifts. I’ve gained a lot more control over the Anchor, I’m fairly confident I can do it.” 

“I say he just brought me along because he thought he might need my good looks and charm,” Dorian smirked trying to defuse the situation, “but what do I know?” 

Cullen laughed softly, but he looked troubled and said nothing else, staring out into the garden, lost in thought. 

“So Jane, was it?” Dorian asked. “She seems nice.” 

Cullen smiled softly to himself. “Yes,” he agreed. “She is.” It seemed as if he would say nothing else, but just as Dorian was going to try and fill the silence, the Commander spoke again. “You know I never thought I would ever be at ease with myself. With the things I’ve done in my life. With my regrets. But she makes me… want to be better.” He looked Dorian directly in the eyes. “Dorian, if I’ve ever done anything to make you feel… less, I’m sincerely sorry. I have misjudged mages many times, and you have proven yourself to all of us over and over again, I have no reason to doubt you or your intentions.” 

Dorian was taken aback and even Max looked surprised. “Oh, uh… well… thank you Commander,” he said. “It’s unusual for me to be left speechless, but I must admit I am surprised.”

A smile touched Cullen’s lips. “I have realised over the past few months that I need to be more… open to people. I am trying to work on that,” he replied uncomfortably.

As Max was about to speak, Jane returned. She’d always had a quick temper and she realised while storming out, she may have overstepped. She hated apologising, and in fact she felt her outburst was justified, but she knew it would be better for her to back down. It irked her nonetheless.

She hesitated briefly in the doorway before walking into the room. “I must apologise for my words earlier,” she began stiffly, “They were spoken in temper.” 

Cullen frowned. He hadn’t realised they had argued. “What happened?” he asked cautiously. They both ignored his question.

“I realise I may have… no, I did come across as very preachy and self-righteous.” She ran her hand through her hair in irritation. “That was definitely not my intention and I had no right to lecture you.”

Max glanced at Dorian and nodded cautiously. “I understand,” he replied. “Apology accepted.” He hesitated briefly. “I didn’t intend to cause offence.”

Cullen still frowned in confusion, looking between the two of them. 

“You must be tired after opening two rifts in a day and travelling god knows how far to get here,” she said, attempting to make amends. “I would suggest you stay here for the night and then tomorrow we can figure out a plan of action.” 

Max and Dorian exchanged looks, and an unspoken conversation passed between them. “That would be… nice…” Max responded. Dorian nodded in agreement. 

“Uh, I’m not entirely sure what just happened here,” Cullen said, “but perhaps we can discuss it over breakfast. I was just cooking - are you hungry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written and rewritten this chapter about a million times, in the end separating out what was a super long chapter into two (which means there should be another one coming soon-ish). I'll be honest I'm not 100% happy with it, but I feel like I need to move on now. Sorry if some of it sounds a bit clumsy and contrived - I had to eventually stop for my own sanity! 
> 
> Me and Mrs Jones - performed by Michael Buble.  
Songwriters: Cary Grant Gilbert / Kenneth Gamble / Kenny Gamble / Leon Huf


	12. Mind Blown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max tries to convince Cullen to return to Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a glass or so of wine and this was a slightly drunk edit (but not written that way). This was the second part of the previous chapter I separated into two.

The next few hours were mind-blowing for Maxwell and Dorian, and they didn’t even leave the house. 

Apart from the fact that the Commander of the Inquisition was standing barefoot in the kitchen cooking for them, his apparent girlfriend had strange glass rectangles all over the house, and the visitors kept wondering as to their purposes.

Noticing Dorian looking curiously at the TV, Jane slyly asked him, “Would you like to see how it works?” 

Curious, Dorian nodded. Jane picked up another small, black rectangle and pressed something on it, and the device blared into life. 

Max looked startled and took a step back, but Dorian’s expression only became more curious. 

“What is it?” he asked. “Some kind of transmitting device?”

Jane grinned. “That’s a pretty good guess actually, as it does transmit a signal, but not in the way you’re thinking of. It’s called a television, and for the most part, it’s an entertainment device.” She changed the channel, showing him the different programmes. When she changed to a cartoon channel, he did a bit of a double-take. It was Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the talking, human-like turtles were very strange.

Looking at his expression, she explained, “Unlike the other channels, this one isn’t using real people. This started out as a drawing that was turned into a moving image.”

“Fascinating,” Dorian murmured. “So this was someone’s art? And they made it move? How does it work?” he asked excitedly. 

Jane’s face became thoughtful. “Well, I know how it works, but it’s a bit complicated to explain to someone who doesn’t know or understand our technology,” she said. “It’s called animation. Maybe if we have some time later I can try and explain?”

Dorian nodded, suddenly regretful that they couldn’t spend some time in this world. He wanted to find out more, about everything. 

A strange noise pierced the air and Max and Dorian looked around in confusion. Jane jumped up and picked yet another odd device up off the table. She smiled apologetically at their guests, and then holding it to her ear, she began speaking and disappeared into the next room. They could hear her talking but couldn’t quite make out the words. Cullen watched them with amusement. 

“Don’t worry, that’s how I felt the first time she did that,” he chuckled. “I wonder if the expression on my face was as priceless as yours are now.” 

When Jane returned, they ate breakfast and the pair left Max and Dorian to their own devices while they showered and dressed. 

Jane decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to take them out of the house. Their armour and dress were simply too conspicuous and it was pointless to buy new clothes as she had for Cullen if they were not going to be here for long. Cullen’s build was larger than both Maxwell and Dorian, so it was unlikely they would be able to borrow his clothes. 

Instead, she showed them some of the technology of her world via television and the Internet. In the Inquisitor’s mission to convince Cullen to return with them, he steered the discussion back to the war and tactics. 

Jane listened with half an ear as Maxwell explained the details of the troop movements and how Cassandra was training them. She watched Cullen frown here and there, noticing him falling back into Commander mode and the telltale hunch of his shoulders that appeared when he was tense. 

Dorian likewise was watching the dynamics of everything that was happening but kept his thoughts to himself. Instead, he focused on discussing some of the technology of this world with Jane, who was only too happy to discuss it with him. He sensed he had found a kindred spirit in terms of a love of learning and regretted he would not be able to get to know her better.

Jane glanced at her watch, noticing it was after three ‘o’clock. “I suspect you do not have gin and tonic in Thedas...” she grinned at the mage. 

“We… do not,” he replied. “But I am suitably intrigued.” 

She looked around and saw Cullen and Maxwell still deeply engrossed in conversation at the dining table. She shrugged. “Well, come and help me. I’m fairly confident you’ll enjoy them,” she smiled. 

They made their way to the kitchen, Jane pulling out ingredients from the fridge while Dorian looked on in fascination. “Please get four glasses from that cupboard,” she said, pointing to a door next to him. 

He took out glasses, placing them on the counter, and watched as she poured a clear liquid over some ice into them. Then she cut up some fruit and herbs, adding them to the drink. She handed him one. 

“There you go. Let me know what you think.”

“I feel like this could either be wonderful, or I’m going to end up regretting it, as I do drinking with Bull,” he joked. The mage took a tentative sip. “Oh, that is quite delicious,” he exclaimed. 

She grinned. “It is rather. It sneaks up on you too, so don’t go downing it in one gulp,” she warned. Picking up her own drink, she studied him as she took a sip. 

“What?” he asked, feeling a little self-conscious. “Are my good looks distracting you?”

She laughed. “Always. I was just thinking about what I know of you from the stories in my world. I’ve always wanted to meet you.” 

Dorian chuckled . “Of course you did. I am fabulous after all.” 

They bantered back and forth for a bit before moving back into the lounge and delivering drinks to Cullen and the Inquisitor. 

Jane mused to herself that if it wasn’t for the fact their guests were visitors from an alternate universe - she giggled to herself at the ridiculousness of this thought - the evening would be like hanging out with friends. They ate, drank, argued about politics in Thedas, and even laughed. She was reminded of the moment in the Inquisition where they played Wicked Grace and Cullen ended up naked. 

Eventually, slightly drunk, she drifted off to sleep on the couch, waking briefly when she felt Cullen pick her up and carry her to bed. She felt the brush of his lips against her forehead and mumbled, “Love you,” before letting sleep claim her.

___________________

Cullen’s heart jerked when he heard her mumble she loved him. It was so natural and felt so right, but now the Inquisitor was here… well, it changed things. Max had spent all day trying to convince him to return to Thedas, and Cullen’s sense of duty was rising to the fore. How could he put his own happiness ahead of his duty to Thedas? If Corypheus won, Thedas would be destroyed. He felt guilty for wanting to stay on Earth. Wanting to stay with Jane, and it ate at his conscience. 

He walked back into the living area to find Max and Dorian talking quietly together. They looked up as he entered the room. 

“Commander,” Max began. “We should…”

“Don’t say what I think you’re going to say Inquisitor,” Cullen said sternly, cutting him off. “I won’t sneak away like a thief in the night.” 

Max stopped short. He had only thought to make it easier on the woman. No long goodbyes, just a clean break. It would be hard but she would get over it eventually.

“You might think you know who I am,” Cullen said to him, “But so many things have changed in the months I’ve been away, for you and me both.” His voice took on a bitter edge. “I’m all too aware of my duty, but I’ll be damned if I’ll treat her as if she meant nothing to me. We can leave tomorrow, but we _will_ wait.” His tone brooked no argument, not even from the leader of the Inquisition and Max nodded reluctantly, not wishing to argue. 

Cullen gestured to the spare room, the one that had once been his. “There’s a bed in that room. It’s large enough if you wish to share, otherwise one can take the bed and the other can sleep on the couch you’re sitting on.” 

He said his goodnights, then undressed and climbed into bed next to Jane. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close, his heart breaking at the thought of leaving her.

________________________

Jane awoke early. She could hear Cullen’s soft breathing, letting her know he was still asleep. He’d been restless in the night and she suspected he’d been having nightmares. 

She slipped quietly out of bed and into the kitchen to make some coffee. She was standing waiting for the kettle to boil when she heard a soft noise behind her. She turned to see Dorian standing in the doorway. 

“Coffee?” she asked. 

He nodded and she took out an extra cup, placing it beside hers on the counter. 

“So did Max try to convince Cullen to leave last night while I was asleep?” she asked. Dorian froze and his face became carefully neutral. She smiled albeit a little sadly. “No need to worry, I suspected he would. Rip the band-aid off right?”

“I… don’t know what you mean by that last statement,” he replied, “but I can garner the meaning. And yes, the motivation was something along those lines.” He shrugged. “I did tell him Cullen wouldn’t agree. Clearly, since we’re still here, he didn’t.”

Jane said nothing but concentrated on making the coffee, handing him a cup when she was done. She moved into the living room and sat down, nursing her cup thoughtfully. Dorian followed her and sat down hesitantly. 

“Jane,” he began, but she cut him off. 

“No Dorian, you don’t need to explain. I understand, better than you know. We didn’t show you how but I know what’s at stake.”

Dorian sat uncomfortably. He could see the change in Cullen and while intellectually he could justify the reasons the Commander needed to return, emotionally he knew how hard it must be. 

He was about to try and break the awkward silence when Cullen entered the room. He had a vaguely panicked look on his face which changed to one of relief when he saw Jane and Dorian sitting on the couch. “Morning.”

“Morning. Worried I’d left you in the night?” she grinned. “That it was all a dream?”

“Uh, no,” he said reaching up to rub the back of his neck. It was so adorable and reminiscent of Dragon Age Cullen, that her grin only widened. He realised what he was doing and dropped his hand immediately. 

Dorian looked between them, certain he’d missed something but didn’t like to ask. Moments later Max emerged from the guest room. There was an awkward moment as the reality of the situation settled on everyone. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shower,” Jane said, finishing her coffee. She nodded at Max and squeezed Cullen’s hand as she walked past him. 

When she was out of the room, the Inquisitor turned to Cullen. “Have you told her?” he asked. 

Cullen shook his head. “I only just walked in here before you,” he replied, pushing down his irritation. 

“She knows,” Dorian piped up from the couch. Both heads swivelled to look at him. 

“Did you tell her?” Cullen accused. 

“Please Commander, I’d like to think I’m better than that,” the mage retorted. “Your Jane isn’t stupid. She knows how this situation is likely going to play out. I didn’t have to say anything to her.” 

Cullen sighed and took a seat on the couch. “Fuck.”

Max was feeling very uncomfortable with the entire situation. He hadn’t anticipated there would be so many emotions involved when he started this journey. He’d expected Cullen to relish the chance to return home, ready to jump back into the seat of command and lead their troops into battle. 

Cullen left to make coffee and the others spoke of inconsequential things, all of them just whiling away the time until Jane came back in to break the news to her.

Twenty minutes later she reentered the room and all heads turned to look at her. She had a large duffel bag slung over her shoulder which she dumped on the floor in front of Cullen. He stood. “You know,” he stated, looking at the bag. “Jane, I’m so sorry…”

“What?” she said. “Oh, no, these are my clothes, you’re going to have to pack your own, I’m not your slave. There’s a bag like this on the bed for you.” 

“What?” he said. 

“What?” said Max.

Dorian sat back and smirked. He had been wondering why Jane hadn’t seemed more upset when he spoke to her in the morning. She seemed more determined than sad and he had a suspicion she would insist on coming with them. 

“Wait, Jane, you can’t come with me,” Cullen said, incredulous. He was horrified at the thought of putting her in danger. 

She laughed. “Of course I am,” she said. 

“Absolutely not!” exclaimed Max. 

“And who are you to tell me no?” she said, turning towards the Inquisitor. “I’m not a part of your Inquisition. I make my own decisions, thank you very much.” 

She turned back to Cullen. “Go pack your things. I’ve made most of the arrangements already, I’ll call Adam and ask him to sort out the last few things.” 

“What do you mean you’ve made most of the arrangements? When?” he asked, confused. “They only arrived yesterday.”

She looked at the men pityingly and rolled her eyes. “Really, did you think I haven’t been prepared for this eventuality? I realised how I felt about you a while ago, and I knew that you might have to go back. I started making preparations just in case.” She shrugged. “I’ve discussed it with Adam. He’s not happy about it, but we’ve organised for multiple possibilities with regards to work and my bills and so on, but we’ve prepared as if I’m not coming back.” She shrugged. “If I do, great, I would like to, but if I don’t, well as I said, arrangements have been made… We have a cover story.” 

Dorian grinned at the shocked looks on Max and Cullen’s faces. Oh, he liked this woman very much indeed. 

“What about your friends? Your family?” Max protested. This was not working out how he had planned at all.

Jane shook her head. “My parents died a few years ago and I’m an only child,” she shrugged. “I’m not close to my extended family and as I said, my friend Adam and I have arranged a cover story for any other eventualities. My friends have met Cullen and although they don’t know the particulars of his origins, I don’t think there will be an issue if Adam plays his part.” She sighed. “And if they don’t… well… I don’t want to cause them any pain, but I can only plan for so many possibilities.” Shrugging she said, “I think I have everything covered.” 

Cullen crossed the floor between them in a few strides of his long legs and pulled her close. They said nothing, but just held each other for a few moments and Max understood he’d greatly underestimated this woman. It made him uncomfortable that he hadn’t realised not only the depth of Cullen’s feelings for her but of hers for him. It was a shock to realise she’d been right when she said he didn’t know the Commander. He only knew the military, logical side of him, not the emotional man that was Cullen and at that moment he wasn’t sure if he respected Jane or resented her. 

“Jane,” Cullen said, still holding her close. “Are you absolutely sure? I can’t guarantee that Max can send you back if you come with me.” He hesitated. “Can send us back…”

“Us?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, well, I mean after all this is over… if you wanted to return home… I would come with you. If you wanted me to I mean…” he said, resting his forehead against hers. 

“The fact that you just said that, makes me a million times surer,” she replied, kissing him briefly. “Go shower and pack your things, Cullen.” She grinned at him. “Don’t forget your sword. It’s under the bed in the spare bedroom along with your armour.” 

Jane watched as Cullen left to go pack his belongings and turned to Max. “You don’t have to like me or this situation, Inquisitor,” she said, using his title, “but I’m coming with you. You can argue all you like but that’s not going to change anything. Now, I’m going to go speak to my friend and make sure that he knows what to do, then when Cullen is ready, you can…” she waved her hand vaguely in the air, “do whatever it is you need to.” She looked at him directly. “I’ll explain all the weird shit… well at least some of the weird shit when we get to our destination,” she said walking out of the room. 

Max and Dorian looked at each other, the mage shrugging. “Well, I guess we’re taking her with us,” he said.

Max grunted. “I’m not happy about it,” he muttered, “but I guess I don’t really have a say do I?” 

“I would say you absolutely do not,” Dorian grinned. “Have you seen the way he looks at her? I would never have thought to see the Commander ever look at anything other than a report in that manner.” Even Max smiled at that. 

Jane re-entered the room and seated herself across from the men on the couch. There was an awkward silence, that Jane didn’t care to fill. If they wanted to find out more they could damn well ask her. 

Thirty minutes later and Cullen emerged, packed and dressed. “Ready?” he asked Jane. 

She nodded. “I spoke to Adam. He wishes you luck and sends you his love,” she said, smiling. “He specifically told me to tell you he’d find you and fuck you up if anything happens to me.” 

Cullen grinned at her and pulled her into a one-armed hug. “He should know better than that,” he said. 

He turned to Max. “Alright Inquisitor, ready when you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, the second part of what was a really long chapter, so the same insecurities of my last chapter apply to this one! I had to just stop nitpicking and get on with it. Hopefully, you enjoy :)
> 
> I'm always open to comments and constructive criticism.


	13. Into the rift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journey to Thedas

Max wasn’t thrilled about bringing Jane along, but he understood on a subconscious level that Cullen might not come with him if he refused and that wasn’t something he could risk. The Inquisition needed it’s Commander, no matter what. 

He sighed. “The way Solas explained it to me is we need to reopen the rift in the same spot you arrived.” He turned to Cullen. “Where was that?”

“I assume the same place you did - the guest room,” Cullen responded. “It seems like that’s a weak point of some kind in the Veil or something.” He led the way to the spare bedroom. 

Max looked at the group - Dorian, waiting expectantly for Max to open the portal; Cullen, ever the Commander even in his strange clothes but without the telltale tension settled around his shoulders; and Jane - this strange woman who already seemed to rub him the wrong way, if only because she challenged him and the way he’d seen the world up until now. “Alright, is everyone ready?” 

Cullen and Jane nodded. Dorian said nothing but Max could see his jaw clench in anticipation. Max reached out his hand, attempting to draw on the power of the Mark. His hand sparked green a couple of times, but nothing happened. He looked down in confusion. 

“There’s no magic in this world,” Jane said. “Could that potentially be the problem?”

Max frowned. “It could be,” he said. “But Solas seemed quite confident…” Jane and Cullen exchanged looks at the mention of the apostate mage and Jane shook her head slightly. It wasn’t necessary to tell Max about Solas, at least not yet. The Inquisition still had to defeat Corypheus and they needed him to do that, no matter how much they might dislike it. 

“Try again,” said Cullen. “Think about how it felt when you dealt with the Breach and had to re-open and close that rift.” 

“Um… I maybe should have asked this before…” said Jane. “But how exactly will this work? I mean, don’t demons come out of rifts?”

“This won’t be a rift into the Fade per se,” said Max. “It’s more of a tunnel between this world and Thedas.” He shrugged. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know exactly how it all works, Solas explained it to me but… well, I didn’t listen too closely to the explanation if it didn’t directly concern what I had to do.” He looked a little embarrassed. 

“Because winging this sounds super safe…” Jane muttered. “Ok then,” she sighed, “might as well give it another try…”

Max nodded and turned to Dorian. “Do you think you can help boost the power of the Anchor?” he asked. 

Dorian stepped forward. “I can try,” he replied. 

Max closed his eyes and extended his hand. He thought back to when he had opened the portal to come here. Solas had told him how to alert him on their return and how he’d looked for Cullen’s essence, his memory. He felt Dorian’s hand on his arm and a surge of power flooded into his arm. He heard a crackling noise and his hand twitched, sparks of pain, like pins and needles shooting up his arm. He opened his eyes to see a green, shimmering hole in the air in front of them. Sighing in relief, he turned to Cullen and Jane. “Do you have everything? Are you ready?”

They both nodded.

“I think it best if we all hold hands,” he said. “I’m still a bit uncertain and I would hate anyone to be separated.” 

They all held hands, Cullen and Jane with their bags slung over their backs. 

Max looked around nervously. “Alright here we go.” 

And they stepped into the rift. 

_________________

Solas dreamed. He was pacing in the world he’d created for himself within the Fade, searching for any sign of the Inquisitor and the Commander but so far had come back with nothing. He’d instructed the Inquisitor to call out to him when he was returning home, but all was quiet. He sighed in frustration and extended his consciousness again, hoping for a whisper of… something. Anything. 

He was about to give up and end his dreaming when he felt… a flicker. Something had changed and he strained his mind to find out what. He kept still, waiting to feel it again. There. A flicker. Slightly stronger this time. “Inquisitor?” he called with his mind. He was tentative to be too bold in case something else latched on to the signal, but he was relatively certain it was safe. 

“...las? Is… you?” 

“Inquisitor?” Solas called, more boldly. “Are you on your way?”

“...las! We’re ...ing back. On… way!” 

“Noted Inquisitor. We’ll be ready,” he said, breaking the connection.

Solas opened his eyes. A moment later he was on his feet and hurrying towards the War Room. He burst in, startling Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine who were standing, poring over Cullen’s maps. “He’s on his way back.” Solas said. “We should prepare.” 

“Did he find Cullen?” Cassandra asked urgently. 

“I cannot tell,” Solas replied, “the communication was brief and faint, but he did refer to ‘we’ so I’m hopeful.” 

“Where, Solas?” Leliana asked, to the point as ever. 

“I think it will appear where he left,” Solas replied, “So likely within the Atrium.” He turned and glancing over his shoulder added, “I will meet you there,” before leaving the room, the door closing heavily behind him. 

The women stood in silence for a moment, and exchanged looks. 

“I do not know what to expect,” Cassandra said. “But I… am looking forward to seeing them again. To seeing Cullen again.” 

“I too,” Leliana replied, “although I will admit to some trepidation.” She straightened. “Let us go to the Atrium. Solas seems confident enough and he has never shown any indication that his instincts cannot be trusted.” 

The three made their way to the Atrium, entering to find Varric and Vivienne also in attendance. 

“Nightingale,” Varric said, nodding. “Ruffles, Seeker.” 

“Varric,” Cassandra responded. “I assume you are also here to see the Inquisitor return? I wish we knew if Cullen was with him,” she sighed in frustration.

“Well surely he wouldn’t have returned without him?” Varric said, trying to ease her fears. 

“True,” the Seeker responded, “unless…” she stopped and shook her head. “No, I cannot think like that.”

“I’m sure he’s fine Seeker,” Varrric said softly. He patted her arm awkwardly and she grimaced in his direction, something Varric suspected was intended as a smile. 

“Do you hear that?” Solas asked suddenly. He looked up, cocking his head.

The air began to crackle, green tendrils like smoke appearing in the Atrium. 

“Get ready!” Solas said to the group. “And be prepared. It may not be only the Inquisitor who comes through the rift!”

Varric pulled Bianca from his back as the rest of the group readied their weapons.

The air opened in front of them and the Inquisitor fell through it about a metre from the ground, landing hard and stumbling but catching himself, followed a moment later by Dorian, who likewise stumbled but managed to not fall over. They turned back towards the rift, clearly looking for someone. A moment later, Cullen appeared, a large, unfamiliar bag on his back and dressed in… well, Varric wasn’t quite sure what he was dressed in, but he too turned to look at the rift expectantly. 

“Close the rift!” Solas shouted over the hissing noise coming from the air around them. 

“No, wait!” Cullen commanded, causing them to turn towards him in surprise. “I’ll catch you!” he called, and he held out his arms. They all swivelled to look back at the rift and a fourth person, a woman, appeared moments later, Cullen catching her with only a slight stagger, despite the second, large bag on her back. 

“Now Inquisitor!” Cullen called, his arms still around the woman although he had set her down. 

Max held out his hand, and in a now familiar gesture to all of them, poured the power of the Anchor into the rift, snapping it shut with a flick of his hand. 

Silence followed. 

Cullen turned, releasing the woman and dropping his bag on the ground and pulled the closest person, who happened to be Cassandra, into a hug. 

Like Max had done before her, Cassandra froze in shock before returning the hug awkwardly. Cullen pulled back. “Cassandra,” he said grinning at her. “Maker but it’s good to see you.”

Cassandra, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion, patted Cullen’s arm before turning away to hide the shine in her eyes. 

The rest of them moved in to greet their Commander and it was only Varric who noticed the woman he’d brought with him step back and settle into the background. He stared at her curiously, noticing her strange manner of dress, similar to Cullen’s, and her slight smile as she watched everyone greet him. She noticed Varric watching her and she grinned at him. There was something about her face that made him automatically grin back at her. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on here, but he was sure there was a good story in it, and he was content to wait and see what it was. 

“Jane?” Cullen said and she turned to see everyone staring at her. 

“Oh,” she said, giving a slight wave. “Hi.”

There was silence. 

Varric, ever the charmer, stepped forward. “Hello,” he said, sticking out his hand, “I’m…”

“Varric Tethras,” she finished for him. “I can absolutely say the pleasure is all mine.” She had taken his hand and was shaking it firmly, a large grin on her face. He was grinning back until they both realised simultaneously that they were still shaking hands. She blushed prettily and dropped his. “Sorry…” she muttered to him. 

“It’s quite alright,” he said. “Although I will admit to being curious as to how you know my name…”

“That’s part of a larger story I think,” said the Inquisitor, stepping forward and saving her from an explanation. “We still need to hear Cullen’s to be honest, we didn’t get the full story.” He looked around for the Commander. “Perhaps, if you’re up to it, we could do this now in the War Room?”

“Certainly Inquisitor,” he replied and Jane smiled at his formality. Cullen was back in Commander mode now he was in familiar surroundings. 

Maxwell nodded curtly and walked out of the atrium, the rest of the group in tow. Cullen didn’t walk at the head of the group with them, but rather towards Jane. 

“Are you ready?” he asked her. “There are going to be a lot of questions…”

She shrugged. “Ready as I’ll ever be I guess,” she replied, squeezing his hand. 

He nodded and they followed the others. As they walked through the main hall, he called out to Josephine, who was walking just ahead of them. “Josie.” She turned in surprise. The Commander tended towards being quite formal, so to hear him call her by her nickname startled her. 

“Yes Cullen, what can I do for you?” she smiled. 

He nodded at Jane to go ahead without him and she smiled shyly at the Ambassador as she walked past. 

“Sorry to ask you this, but could you get the bags we brought with us sent up to my quarters?” he asked. 

“Of course Commander. The lady’s bag as well or should I find accommodation for her in the castle?” 

“Oh, no you can send her bag to my room as well,” he replied without a hint of a blush or a neck rub. “She’ll be staying with me.” 

“Of course. I’ll ask someone right away and meet you in the War Room.”

“Thanks Josie,” he said smiling warmly at her. “I’ve missed you,” he said, reaching out and squeezing her arm as he walked past, leaving her staring after him in carefully hidden disbelief. 

Cullen arrived in the War Room to find Jane standing with Dorian. The others were looking on curiously. 

“Ah Cullen,” Maxwell said, turning to him. “So should we start from the beginning?”

Cullen paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. He began by explaining to everyone about being sucked into the rift, about arriving in a strange place, somewhere he later discovered was called Earth. About meeting Jane. At this he glanced towards her and smiled. All eyes turned towards her curiously. 

“It’s perhaps less exciting than it seems to be honest,” he said ruefully. “I have some insights, but since there was no way for me to travel home, we just kind of got on with life. I was upset and anxious initially, but without any magic on Earth I was stuck there. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to return at all.”

“And those insights?” Leliana asked. 

Cullen glanced at Jane. “Well I can explain, but I think it perhaps better if Jane does so,” he said nodding towards her. 

All eyes swivelled to Jane. 

“Go on,” Cullen encouraged. 

“Uh, right,” she said, nodding. “Hi. Um. So you don’t know me obviously, but the thing is, I know all of you. And I don’t just know your names through Cullen. The Commander. Um. I know you.” 

She took a breath and paused, trying to say what she needed to without them all thinking she was completely crazy. 

“For example... “ she glanced around the room, her eyes settling on Varric. “Varric. I know the common stuff about you. You’re an author, you were born in Kirkwall, but I also know some of the story behind Bianca.”

Varric frowned slightly as she took another deep breath but stayed silent. “In my world… all of this, all of you… you’re all part of a story. A story called Dragon Age. I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense. I mean, where did the intersection of our worlds happen, and how, in such a way that we know the events of your world, but you know nothing of ours.” She looked around the room. “When Cullen arrived, I thought he was joking. We have big, social events in my world where people dress up as characters from stories, and I thought he was one of them. The way he was dressed, when he told me his name - his story seemed absurd. And then I realised that there were too many things that only made sense if he was who he said he was.” 

She stopped to think for a second. “I find it incredible in many ways that we both speak the same language - even the other languages on your world are similar to those in mine, which is pretty fucking weird to be honest. What you call Common, we call English. What you call Orlesian, we call French and so on. There are languages on my world that I haven’t heard on yours but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist, I don’t know. Then there’s the written language which is completely different.” 

She gestured towards Cullen. “Cullen had to learn to read all over again when he was living with me, which was pretty strange for me because your written language isn’t the same as your spoken language.” She stopped to consider again. “I know I’m jumping all over the place, sorry about that - this is a bit more of a mind fuck than I anicipated to be honest, which is probably how he felt when he arrived on Earth.”

Everyone stared at her. Her casual use of profanity shocked them all a little, but Cullen was laughing to himself - this was how he had felt when he first met Jane, it took some getting used to. 

Dorian was the first to speak. “This Earth… we weren’t there for very long, but… how did you function? You said there’s no magic and I just… can’t comprehend that really.”

“Oh, well our society is much more technologically advanced than yours,” Jane said, “I mean you saw some of the devices we have. I suspect because there is no magic. So like dwarves don’t have magic for example, so they invent devices and objects to make their lives easier as a result.” She shrugged. “The concept of having to light a fire to cook food and not just switch on the oven or put something in a microwave is foreign to me as well. For me, the lack of technology here is like living in what we call the Middle Ages. Swords, riding horses, wearing metal armour. It’s super weird.” 

“Riding horses?” Cassandra asked. “But how do you get around if you don’t ride horses?”

“We have big machines called cars - I guess kind of like really fast, metal, horseless carriages - that we use to get from place to place for the most part,” she replied. “They burn fuel so they can move. I’m not an engineer so I couldn’t explain the specifics of how they work to you.” 

“You shall have to explain many of these things in greater detail at some point,” Leliana interjected. “They sound fascinating. But for now I think we need to assess our next steps and what your arrival in our world means.” She paused. “Why did you join us exactly? You were under no obligation to come to Thedas, even if Cullen returned home.” Leliana suspected the truth, but she wanted to hear it from the newcomer. 

“Oh,” said Jane, taken aback at the directness of the question, but keeping her cool. “Well, partly for the adventure - I was curious - but mainly to be with Cullen. That’s pretty much it. I mean I can offer some insights into what you’ll face coming up, but Cullen knows the story now as well, he could have done that too.” 

“To be with Cullen,” Leliana repeated, glancing at the Commander who surprisingly didn’t look as uncomfortable as she had expected. “Well… that is a surprise.“

Jane grinned. “For everyone involved,” she said, glancing at Cullen and winking at him. The corner of his mouth quirked up and there were many surprised looks from the companions. It was clear from this small exchange that Cullen had changed a great deal in the months he had been away. 

“You know…” Jane said thoughtfully. “I think it might be beneficial for everyone if perhaps I left you all alone. There’s not much you can say that I don’t already know, but I think it would be better for your own peace of mind if you talked to Cullen without me in the room.” She looked at him, smiling. “Cullen I’ll meet you in your office when you’re done ok?”

He nodded, knowing she was right. Everyone was too guarded around her although they had many questions. “Do you need someone to show you how to get there?” he asked. 

“Is the layout of Skyhold the same?” she asked, confusing everyone. The same as what, they were all thinking. 

He nodded again and Jane shrugged. “Then I’ll find my way there. All good.” She looked back around the group, taking care to meet as many eyes as she could. “It was lovely meeting you all, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

Jane turned and exited the War Room, the door banging heavily behind her. All eyes swivelled back to the Commander as she left, curiosity filling their features. 

“Now,” said Maxwell. “Start at the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments always welcome. I've had some great suggestions from people, things I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate, so I do really appreciate it. Often I've written chapters ahead as ideas come to me and I spend ages trying to tie everything together, but I've reached the end of that and I'm back to figuring it out as I go along! Not really sure where I'm going with it again and hoping it comes together! 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	14. Life Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane's first experience of Skyhold involves drinking at the Herald, because of course it does.

Jane heard the door to the War Room thud shut behind her, the acoustics of Skyhold amplifying the echoes, as she made her way down the passage, through Josephine’s office, into the main hall of the fortress. She hesitated, trying to remember the different ways to get to Cullen’s office, conscious as she decided to cut through Solas’s quarters, that all heads turned to look at her. 

She held her head high, ignoring the curious stares and whispered comments about her strange clothing. Word had spread like wildfire that Commander Cullen had returned and the rumours of a strange woman with him were confirmed when Jane stepped into the hall. When she reached the door to Cullen’s office and pushed it open, she paused, taking in the strange familiarity of everything. There were no candles burning, but there was also no dust - clearly they had kept it clean in anticipation of his return. 

She saw their bags placed neatly on the floor beside Cullen’s desk. Looking over at the ladder leading to his sleeping quarters she wondered whether she should attempt to carry it and climb the ladder or wait for Cullen to arrive. She decided on the latter, but unzipped her bag to rummage through it. 

Jane hadn’t been lying when she told Cullen that she had prepared for this - or at least as much as she was able. The little jaunt to the store where they had encountered Candice, was to buy a solar powered charger and some battery packs. In fact, she had a couple of small solar chargers for her phone - primarily because she couldn’t do without her music - and a bigger one that would charge her laptop. She knew it was an extravagance and she would never be able to go online and look anything up while she was here, but she had downloaded a couple of Dragon Age resources with information about certain quests in order to provide them with as much information as possible. She had also bought the game for PC and installed it on her laptop. It was mostly as a last resort because she’d have to play it through from the beginning, but it was at least an option. 

Jane was the kind of person who liked to do a great deal of research when working on a project, and having as many resources as possible available to her gave her the best chance of assisting the Inquisition in making informed decisions. 

She retrieved the solar chargers in a pocket on the side of her bag, and exited the side door to Cullen’s office, placing them outside in the sun to charge. She looked at the sun and considered it to be early afternoon. The quality of the sun suggested that it was after midday, although it was certainly colder here than she was used to, and she went back and pulled a hoodie out of her bag, slipping it over her head. 

Jane looked at the clothes she’d brought with her. Instead of trying to fit in, she’d decided on clothes that would be, to a certain extent, practical and comfortable. She figured if for some reason her clothes were impractical she’d need to source them here - there was only so much she could carry and plan for. In the meantime, she had a warm coat to guard against the cold, but also a selection of basic, and practical clothing for a variety of weather. 

Walking over to Cullen’s desk she glanced at the pile of unread reports, but of course was unable to read them herself. She thought that this must have been what he felt like when he arrived on Earth - able to speak the language, but unable to read anything. She sighed and shook her head. This journey had seemed like a good idea when she decided on it, but she was wondering if she had made the right choice. Not only was she potentially stuck here with very few practical skills to be used in day to day life, but would her presence here make a difference or would the world basically just ignore her? There were so many variables in every game, how you played, who you romanced, what decisions you made, that perhaps she would be overlooked as an inconsequential addition to this world. Or perhaps she would have a ripple effect that changed the story. Her head hurt thinking about it so she decided that for the moment she’d just go with the flow. 

Oh well, she thought. Nothing I can do about it now. If I made the wrong decision I have to deal with the consequences. She wondered what world state she had arrived in, and decided she should probably have a chat with Varric to gather some information. She’d spoken to Cullen about much of it obviously, but hadn’t discussed details like Anders’s fate for example, or who Hawke - a female mage, that much she knew - had been romantically involved with. Somehow she had always thought it would make him uncomfortable, although he’d changed so much from the time she’d met him that she couldn’t really predict his reactions any more. 

She sat down in Cullen’s chair, looking out over his office. It felt wrong. As if she were an intruder, which she supposed she was. She briefly considered exploring Skyhold and then decided that would probably be a bad idea. People would be decidedly less trusting until it was explained who she was and she didn’t want to run the risk of causing any further trouble right now. Deciding she was tired, she got up and rummaged again through her bag, finding her Kindle, then climbed the ladder up to the Commander’s sleeping quarters. She kicked off her sneakers, then crawled up to the top of the bed. She switched on her Kindle, flipped through the library until she found one of her Dragon Age books and curled up on the bed to read. She’d wait for Cullen and see how it went in the War Room. 

________________________

Cullen made his way to his quarters lost in thought. They’d spent hours going through everything with the Inquisition Council and Max’s companions, and his voice was tired and starting to become a bit hoarse. Leliana, as always, asked pertinent questions, picking up on things he’d forgotten, or pointing out aspects of his story that needed clarity, but they all still seemed baffled by the fact that Jane knew of their world and the war with Corypheus. 

When Josephine, bless that woman, eventually pointed out how tired Cullen must be, they let him escape for some rest, with a promise to resume the following day once he’d had a chance to mull things over. 

His feet clearly had a mind of their own, because before he knew it he was opening the door to his quarters. The familiar smell of parchment, candles and the oil he knew the servants used to polish his furniture, assaulted his nose, and he paused, taking it in, relishing the familiarity and simultaneously the strangeness of it all. He’d become used to Earth and this suddenly seemed so strange. Even the concept of servants suddenly seemed odd to him. Jane didn’t have anyone to help her and she didn all her own cooking and cleaning and she’d expected Cullen to help.

Cullen looked around, realising that Jane was not there, although he could see her open bag so he knew she’d been here at some point. He climbed the ladder to his quarters, and as he poked his head over the platform, he saw her, curled into the foetal position, one of her devices in hand. A Kindle he thought it was called. She was fast asleep and he took a moment to just look at her. Her short, dark hair was tousled and her face, relaxed in sleep, looked peaceful. 

He appreciated the fact that he still had his Earth clothes on, and not armour, as he knew the clanking of the metal would wake her. Softly, he walked to the bed, laying down quietly behind her and wrapping his arm around her waist. 

She stirred, turning half towards him as she smiled, opening her eyes sleepily. 

“Hey,” she said. “You were long.”

“Hey,” he smiled back. “There were a lot of questions.”

She turned to face him fully, but stayed lying down. “I’m sure.” She hesitated. “Max is mad with me isn’t he?” 

Cullen shrugged. “A little, but he doesn’t have much choice now. He just doesn’t like being forced into decisions, but he’ll come around eventually.”

Jane sighed. “I’m sorry. Well… actually I’m not - I’m glad I came with you - but I mean I didn’t want it to be like this.”

“Are you really glad?” he asked. “This is probably not really what you were expecting. The expectation rarely matches the reality.” 

“Well, I mean, I didn’t come completely unprepared,” she smiled. “I have some creature comforts from home.”

Cullen frowned. “I don’t know what creature comforts means, but I’m assuming you’re meaning you brought things from Earth. Surely they won’t work here?” he asked. 

“Do you remember the day we went to the electronics store?” she grinned. “When I rescued you from Candice?”

He nodded. “Well, I bought some solar powered chargers and battery packs,” she said. “So while I might not have full functionality of everything, I’ll have access to certain devices and information that I planned ahead for.”

He nodded again, uncertain what she was planning, but she clearly had an idea in her head and he was too tired to explore the details right now. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked. 

“I am, but to be honest I don’t even know what time it is,” she laughed. 

“Coming up to dinner,” he replied. “Perhaps a little early, but we could go to Herald’s Rest instead of the dining hall. They serve food at all times.” 

She shrugged. ‘Sounds like a plan,” she smiled and he chuckled at her Earth expression.

They made their way down to what Jane thought of as the pub, but she supposed she needed to refer to it as a tavern. People stared at them as they passed and initially she thought it was just her, until she realised Cullen hadn’t changed out of the clothes he’d arrived in. He’d stopped to pull a hoodie on as they left, and she smiled to herself as she considered they must look so strange to the residents of Skyhold. Cullen especially as he was still dressed in the style of Earth. It was completely unfamiliar to the people here.

Pushing open the door to Herald’s Rest, the smell of beer and unwashed bodies assaulted her nose, and she struggled not to recoil or wrinkle her nose. Cullen paused, holding the door for her. “I never realised the smell was so overpowering,” he muttered to her as she stepped inside. “Strange when you get used to showering every day.” 

Jane nodded, aware of the lull in conversation as they entered. Heads turned in their direction and she hesitated, wondering if this had been the best idea. 

“Jane! Commander!” A voice rose over the crowd and they turned to see Dorian raise a hand in greeting. 

Jane breathed a sigh of relief as they made their way towards Dorian. He was seated at a table with The Iron Bull and people she supposed were the Chargers. She grinned as she recognised Krem. He looked slightly confused at her delighted expression but nodded politely.

“Jane,” said Dorian, “meet Bull’s Chargers,” he introduced. She grinned at all of them, her grin widening when her eyes alighted on Bull. 

“The Iron Bull,” she said. “Delighted.” 

“That’s not normally the reaction I inspire in people,” he said, his lips quirking up into a smile. Jane could immediately see why he had such an effect on women. There was something charismatic about The Iron Bull. He exuded confidence and sex appeal.

“I’m sure…” she said sarcastically. His grin widened and Cullen cleared his throat, breaking the tension. Jane laughed and nudged the Commander. “Please Cullen, I’m allowed to flirt a little at least…” 

He rolled his eyes and sighed, earning a few raised eyebrows from the group. This wasn’t a side of Cullen they had ever experienced. Dorian smirked. He was beginning to like this woman very much indeed. 

“Please, sit,” Dorian said. “I would hate to think that Skyhold’s hospitality was besmirched by this bunch of louts.” 

“I resent that,” Bull replied. 

Dorian ignored him and pulled out a chair next to him for Jane, who sat down.

“I’m going to go get us something to eat,” the Commander said. “Wine?” He shrugged. “I think the Herald is fresh out of gin,” he smirked. 

“Ah, now that is a pity,” Dorian sighed dramatically. Cullen laughed. “I’d forgotten you’d tried it,” he smiled. 

“Yes, red wine please,” Jane nodded. “Otherwise I’ll just wake up feeling like shit tomorrow.” 

Cullen nodded and walked away. Jane turned back to the table to find them all staring at her with incredulous expressions. 

“What?” she asked. 

“My dear, I believe none of them have ever seen the Commander, firstly, quite so relaxed and comfortable, and secondly, happy for someone else to tell him what to do!”

Jane frowned. “I don’t tell Cullen what to do,” she protested. “It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. Sometimes I do things, sometimes he does.” 

Bull leaned forward and raised his eyebrows. “What kinds of things are we talking about?” he asked smirking. 

Jane looked at him deadpan. “That’s what she said,” she replied. 

There was a moment of silence and then Bull’s loud guffaw resounded across the Herald, causing tables to look over towards them. 

Jane smirked. “That is probably the best response I’ve ever had to that statement,” she said. 

“Well I’m sure we can see if we can top it over the course of the evening,” Bull replied. 

Jane grinned. “Challenge accepted,” she said in her best Mortal Kombat voice, which earned her a couple of odd looks, but overall the table began to laugh. 

Cullen returned and seated himself next to her. “Jane amusing you yet?” he asked grinning. 

Bull gave him an odd look then began to smirk. “I think… that maybe I like her a great deal,” he replied. 

Cullen looked at him straight on for a moment, unsmiling, when suddenly he broke into laughter. A loud, rumbling sound that few of them had heard before. There was a momentary lull in conversation throughout the Herald as people turned to look at what had made the Commander laugh. 

“Commander Cullen,” Dorian commented, “I do believe that your journey has changed you a great deal. More than you might have realised.”

Cullen chuckled. “For the most part I’m aware of the changes Dorian, don’t concern yourself. Jane has mocked me about them mercilessly,” he smiled, glancing over at her. Jane smiled and blushed slightly. 

“Yes well… your whole stiff upper lip Commander thing would have been weird in my world, and you know that.”

He rolled his eyes, but clearly had not taken offence to her comment. 

“Well…” Bull commented, leaning back in his chair, an arm draped over the back. “I can’t say I don’t find this… surprising. Confusing even.” He shrugged. “But I’m willing to reserve judgement for a later time.”

“Well, I can’t say I ever picked you for the judgy type,” Jane laughed. 

There was a pause.

“And how would you know that?” Bull asked cautiously. 

Jane hesitated. Of course. They wouldn’t know about her knowledge of their world. Bull hadn’t been present when they explained her origins in the War Room. She grimaced. “It’s… complicated,” she responded. “And I promise I’ll explain,” she looked towards Dorian for confirmation, who nodded, “but can we just enjoy the evening without the drama for the moment?” 

Bull studied her, then shrugged. “I guess I can’t really protest too much. I know what it is to have secrets,” he said. 

Jane nodded. “I promise I’ll explain everything ok, I just… I can’t go through it again right now. I just don’t have the energy.” 

A short, slightly awkward silence followed, but Dorian, ever the diplomat, broke it. “Well, that’s the best excuse to drink wine that I ever heard,” he said, raising his glass. “To not having the energy!” he toasted as he took a sip. 

Jane grinned gratefully before raising her own in a toast. “_Salud_” she murmured to herself, thinking of a Spanish friend of hers. Dorian looked at her curiously, wondering how she knew Antivan, but kept his thoughts to himself.

As the night wore on, the wine flowed and Jane, simply enjoying the company, became progressively drunker. It was only when she attempted to get up and overbalanced that Cullen decided it was time to call it a night. 

“Right, I think it’s time you went to bed,” he said to her as she stumbled into him. 

“No, no, I’m fine!” she protested. 

He laughed. “I’m fairly certain that’s a lie,” he countered. “And even if you’re fine now, you won’t be tomorrow unless you get some sleep and have some water.”

Jane opened her mouth to argue when she realised she was in fact starting to see double. She snapped it shut. 

“Ok, maybe I’m a little drunk,” she said, slurring slightly. “I’ll concede defeat, Commander Cullen,” she giggled. 

Cullen rolled his eyes, to the amusement of Dorian and the Chargers. The Commander had been drinking but not excessively and had only a pleasant buzz. “Ok, it’s definitely time for us to be leaving,” he laughed. He nodded at the group. “Good night, thanks for the evening, it was… fun,” he said, his scarred lip quirking into a smile. 

Dorian leaned over and whispered theatrically to Bull, “I do believe that’s a compliment. I don’t know what to do…” he said. Bull snorted in laughter and Cullen sighed and shook his head. 

“Right, come along,” he said to Jane who waved goodbye to the table as Cullen guided her out of the Herald. 

“Your friends are nice,” she said to him as she stumbled into his quarters, his hand on her arm to keep her from falling. 

Cullen frowned. He’d never really thought of them as his friends before, more as Maxwell’s. He’d felt closer to her friends on Earth than he ever had to any of the Inquisition Inner Circle, but thinking back on tonight, he wondered if perhaps it hadn’t been because he hadn’t opened up to them either.

“Yes,” he replied to her as he guided her up the ladder and put her to bed. “Yes they are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted a new chapter in a while. 
> 
> It's been a really hard year already. I started a new job and then a few weeks ago my mother passed away, so while parts of this have been written for a while, I simply haven't had the energy to write much. I can't guarantee how quickly these will come, but I haven't abandoned this fic, the going may just be slower than it used to be. 
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying it :)


	15. Private Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Jim a real person or just a meme? What's his full name? :)

Cullen awoke the next morning momentarily disoriented. It took him a second to realise he was back in Skyhold and he felt a strange weight settle on his chest at the thought. He sighed. It was good to see everyone again, but he had just begun to feel that he had left that part of his life behind, and somehow the burden of responsibility seemed to weigh heavy on him once more. He was by his nature a responsible person and a strong leader, but sometimes he disliked being in command.

He heard a soft sigh next to him and turned to see Jane lying on her stomach, hands under the pillow. Her hair would most definitely be considered bed head, he smiled to himself. It was significantly ruffled. Her presence gave him some comfort however, and he was glad she was here with him. 

He eased himself out of bed and down the ladder. He hadn’t bothered changing into sleeping clothes the night before, had simply stripped off his jeans and hoodie and climbed into bed in boxers and a tshirt. Now that he was out from under the bedclothes it was a bit chilly and he shivered. Someone had clearly been in early and there was a fire burning. The warmth hadn’t spread throughout the room yet so it couldn’t have been too long ago. 

Reaching the bottom of the ladder he found his bag, hunkering down to go through it. He removed his armour, sorely in need of a polish, and his sword, which likewise needed to be cleaned and maintained. It had been part of his morning ritual before he’d gone to Earth and although his first thought was for coffee, he decided he would drink his coffee while cleaning his armour. It was definitely going to take him a while to get back into his usual routine he realised, considering that he didn’t even really know what his routine looked like now.

Looking around he mourned the lack of a coffee machine or kettle. He would need to make his way to the kitchens or ask one of the servants to bring him some. Cullen sighed. Pulling on his clothes from the night before, he started towards the door, opening it to find a soldier standing right outside. He started, not expecting anyone to be right there. 

The soldier snapped to attention. “Commander Cullen, sir,” he said. “Good morning sir.” 

Cullen blinked, not expecting anyone to be standing outside the door. “Uh, good morning soldier. What is your name?”

The soldier glanced at him uncertainly. “It’s uh, Private Green, sir.” 

Cullen shook his head. “No Private, I mean what is your name? Your first name.” 

The soldier stared at him. “Uh, James. Sir. It’s James.”

Cullen nodded. Jane had shown him what in her world were called memes, about a character everyone referred to as Jim and he had realised with a bit of shame that he didn’t know many of the recruits by their first names. He held in the laugh that threatened to bubble out. 

“Do you prefer James or Jim?” he asked.

“Oh, well, um I mean, everyone calls me Jim,” the man replied. He hesitated, and Cullen nodded at him to continue. “Well, to be honest sir, I’d prefer it if people called me James.” 

Cullen nodded. “Alright then. James would you mind terribly asking the kitchen to send up some coffee? Two cups please,” he added. He was pretty sure that most people knew about Jane but didn’t want to assume. 

“Um, well, I was um, told to stay at my post. Sir. Commander. Sir,” James stammered. 

Cullen forced himself not to roll his eyes, a bad habit he’d picked up from Jane who was perpetually sarcastic. “Private Green,” he said, using the recruits full title. The man immediately stood at attention. 

“Yessir.”

“I promise you I will be fine. I’m not the Commander of the Inquisition armies because I can’t swing a sword.” Cullen softened slightly. “Please can you go down and get some coffee?” he asked again politely. 

“Yessir. Of course sir,” James replied, jumping into action. “I’ll be right back sir.” He hurried off and Cullen breathed a sigh of relief. 

He turned to go back inside and saw Jane standing at the door, barefoot, in the clothes she’d slept in, her hair predictably ruffled, a smirk on her lips. “Were you bullying the recruits, Commander Cullen?” she smiled at him.

Cullen grinned. “That was Jim!” he exclaimed.

Jane grinned back at him. “You’re joking,” she said. 

He shook his head. “He prefers to be called James though. He’s Private James Green.” 

“Huh,” Jane said to herself. “Who would have thought...”

“I asked him to bring us coffee,” Cullen said. He glanced around and, seeing no one, stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, forcing her to step backwards through the door. He kicked the door shut behind him and leaned in to kiss her. He felt her lips curl into a smile as they touched his own and he pulled her tighter against him. 

He desperately wanted to pull her into bed and not face the world for the rest of the day, but he knew he, and probably Jane as well, would be summoned to the War Room. 

He sighed in frustration and pulled back. Jane giggled and leaned in and hugged him. “Nevermind, there will be plenty of time,” she said. 

Stepping back she looked around. “So, um, while the majority of Thedas may not care much about bathing, I really do…” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Where can a girl get a bath around here?” 

Cullen smiled at her. “I’ll have to get one sent up,” he said. “No running water and all that.”

She grimaced. “That’s a pity.” She shrugged. “I mean, I knew… but it’s still a pity. You must know by now that there’s nothing like a hot shower…” 

Cullen nodded, wondering to himself if this was something he could take up with Dagna. As he was pondering, there was a knock at his door and before he could move, Jane had pulled it open, a startled James Green, carrying a covered tray, on the other side.

She grinned at him. “Hi,” she said. 

“Uh… hello…” he stammered. There was an awkward silence. “I’m Jim. James,” he corrected, “I’m James.”

Jane’s grin widened. “I’m Jane.” She gestured. “Can I take that from you?”

“Huh?” He looked down. “Oh! Um, no it’s fine, I’ll just…”

Jane stepped back to allow him to enter. James stepped into the room, seeing Cullen standing by his desk, an amused expression on his face. The recruit reddened. “You can just put it down there, thank you James,” he commented. 

James nodded, his hands shaking only slightly as he placed the tray on the desk. He stood up and turned to Cullen. “Commander, let me know if there’s anything else I can assist with…” he said. 

“Actually,” Jane said, walking over to stand next to Cullen.“Could you let me know who I need to speak to get some water for a bath?” 

James turned bright red, and Jane was reminded how conservative their society was. “Oh, um… well I can ask one of the servants to…. um, send some up.... Or um, you could go to the public baths, but uh, well I mean that’s mainly for the staff… um.” 

Thankfully Cullen put him out of his misery. “Thank you Private, I’ll sort it out for her, don’t worry.” 

Private Green nodded and practically tripped over his feet in his haste to leave the room. Cullen turned to Jane. “Did you do that just to tease him?” he asked her, lifting an eyebrow.

“No!” she exclaimed. “Although it was quite funny how flustered he got. I keep forgetting how conservative everyone is here. Actually, I just thought it might be easier to organise it earlier rather than later, and he was here…” She considered. “In retrospect it wasn’t very well thought out, but… well…” she shrugged. “I dunno, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” 

Cullen chuckled and turned to pour them some coffee. “I felt badly for him,” he said. Turning back to her and handing her a cup of coffee he asked, “How are you feeling by the way?”

Jane grimaced. “Not the best I’ve ever felt. Not the worst. I stuck to red wine which I generally tolerate pretty well, so that’s a blessing otherwise I would be puking over the battlements right now.” 

Cullen chuckled again. “I’ll ask Dorian or Solas to cast a healing spell for you when we see them,” he said. 

“Oh that’s a thing?” she said. “Winning…”

Cullen smiled at her Earth expression. “How do you think Varric is always so chirpy after a night of hard drinking?” he grinned. “He generally has a healing potion on hand or asks one of the mages to help him out.”

“Really?” she asked. “I always just assumed dwarves had a constitution that was stronger than the others.” She shrugged. “I’ll have to remember that…” 

Jane perched on the edge of Cullen’s desk as she drank her coffee. They sat in silence, just enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. A knock sounded and Cullen opened the door to see a row of servants standing before him. “Commander,” the woman in front said, smiling. “Private Green requested that water be sent up to your rooms for a bath.”

Cullen blinked, then stepped back to let them enter. Jane, still cradling her coffee cup, stood up in surprise as the row of people entered, all carrying pails of water. 

“Most of it is heated already Commander, but I can warm it further for you if you would like,” the woman said. 

“Oh, uh, no it’s fine I can do it,” he replied. “Thank you,” he added.

She inclined her head then turned and nodded to the others who began to empty the water into a bath in the corner that Jane hadn’t noticed until now. Steam rose from the water and Jane felt an almost immediate need to strip off her clothes and bath. She suddenly felt very grimy from the tavern the night before. 

Water all decanted into the bath, the servants disappeared back through the door, the woman nodding again at the Commander as she exited. 

Cullen turned back to see Jane already pulling off her hoodie. He laughed. “You’re impatient,” he said. 

She shrugged awkwardly, pulling her arms from the sleeves. “I don’t want the water to get cold,” she replied. 

Cullen hesitated then quickly turned and bolted all the doors that led into his quarters. Jane was by now already submerged up to her neck in the water, her clothes discarded over his chair. He stripped off and climbed into the water beside her carefully to avoid spilling it on the floor. The bath was big enough for both of them, if just barely so their limbs definitely touched, and he had to once again restrain himself with a groan. 

She grinned at him mischievously. “You’re sure you can’t spare a little time…?” she asked. 

Cullen groaned in frustration. “Fuck. Yes, I’m sure. I guarantee you, the moment we start something there will be a knock on the door with a scout from Leliana. I swear the woman has a sixth sense about these things…”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “You say that like you’ve been in this situation before…”

Cullen reddened, reverting in a moment to the man she remembered from the game. “What? Oh, no, I mean…” She could almost see him fighting to avoid rubbing his neck. 

She laughed. “I’m teasing you Cullen. I mean, come on, you know you’re not the only man I’ve had sex with, I could hardly expect it to be any different for you.”

He frowned. “Well, no, of course not, but… well, I just mean I didn’t intend it like that. That’s not what I meant.” 

She patted his arm. “I know. Really, I was just teasing you, don’t stress so much.” She looked around. “Now, where do I find the soap?”

They bathed and dressed, both realising belatedly that they hadn’t thought about towels, so they had to dry off using a combination of the fire that had been lit in the grate, and their shirts. Whilst she dressed, Cullen surreptitiously admired Jane’s body and the tattoos that covered her. She had tattoos up both her arms, down one leg and on both her sides. He’d realised it was very common on Earth once he’d been there a while, but the people there mostly got them out of choice, not necessarily for cultural reasons and so the designs were often what he thought of as frivolous as opposed to traditional. It struck him that she’d been wearing long sleeves the previous day and the only people who would have seen her tattoos would be Dorian and Max, who had both seen her in shorts when they arrived on Earth. He grinned to himself. That was going to come as a shock to many when they saw her uncovered at some point. 

He stood in his underwear as he looked at his clothes. Jane, noticing his hesitation, turned to him. “What is it?” 

Cullen frowned. “It’s silly…” he said softly. 

“Tell me,” she said. 

“Well… it’s just that, I don’t want to wear my armour,” he mumbled. He felt like a rebellious child as he said it. 

Jane stared at him before she burst into laughter. 

Cullen rolled his eyes at her. “What!?” he argued. “I’ve gotten used to wearing your kind of clothes and… well, they’re comfortable.”

She grinned at him. “They are, but they’re hardly practical for fighting battles are they?”

“I suppose not, but… I just somehow wonder how I used to walk around in armour all the time,” he replied. “It seems… silly, really.” He shrugged. “Jeans and a tshirt are just more comfortable and it’s not like I’m going into battle right now…” he said. 

Jane looked thoughtful. “Well, it’s a bit difficult to be sure. Armour makes you look more imposing and you do oversee the training of the troops, which means you often need to step in to spar at a moments notice. On the other hand, you’re not really doing much fighting right now and it’s probably not strictly necessary.” 

He frowned again. “Well, my armour needs to be cleaned anyway,” he said shrugging. “I meant to do it this morning but… well, I got distracted,” he smiled glancing at her. “It gives me a good excuse not to have to wear it this morning at least.” 

Jane clapped her hands together. “There we go, decision made,” she said, turning back to her bag. She pulled on a tshirt and took a hoodie out of the bag. Her arms were bare, showing off her tattoos, but she was in jeans and sneakers. 

She climbed down the ladder as Cullen finished dressing himself likewise in jeans and sneakers, but after a moment's hesitation, he put a button down shirt on instead of a tshirt. He was just climbing down the ladder when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to see one of Leliana’s scouts standing before him. 

“Commander Cullen sir,” the scout said. “The Inquisitor and the Nightingale request your presence, and that of the lady in the War Room.” 

Cullen nodded, indicating that they were on their way. 

“Told you,” he said, smirking at Jane as she chuckled. He gestured. “Shall we?”

She took a breath and they made their way towards the War Room and the Inquisition Council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very light, fluffy chapter. Clearly self-isolation and working from home helped me get back to this for a bit. :)
> 
> Comments welcome as always.


	16. Decisions and Attitudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morrigan hasn't been told all the things. Varric, ever the storyteller, is the person Jane goes to in order to find out all the information about this world state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not very happy with this chapter, it just wasn't flowing for me, but I'm at a point now where if I don't just post it I'll get stuck and I don't want that to happen. I know there are a couple of inconsistencies. I wrote some things, then realised they didn't make sense and so had to go back and rewrite them, and I'm not sure if I got all of them. 
> 
> I hope you bear with me and don't give up! :)

Heads swivelled and eyes followed them as Cullen and Jane walked through the keep on their way to the War Room. For many it had been understandable why the Commander was in strange clothes yesterday when he returned, but why was he wearing them again today? Why was he not in armour? The expectation had been that he would step once more into his role as the Commander of the Inquisition forces, but in an instant rumours began to fly that perhaps he was no longer. What would this mean for the Inquisition? 

Amid the murmurs, attention shifted to the woman, her attire and the strange tattoos that covered her arms. Whispers followed them as they walked, especially when they entered the Main Hall. Jane was conscious of the stares, but held her head high. They were just unused to her, she told herself, and the circumstances in which she’d arrived were strange to be sure. Cullen on the other hand, was watching everyone surreptitiously. He noted who stared at Jane, how they looked at her, and the whispered comments. He noted who looked disapproving and who looked merely curious. Much as he hated politics, he’d been in the game long enough that he knew it would make the world of difference later. 

They entered the War Room to find everyone already assembled. Maxwell, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra turned towards them as they entered, all of them making a mental note as to Cullen’s attire. Leliana’s and Josephine’s expressions remained impassive, but Cassandra’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly. Maxwell frowned.

Jane noticed another figure detach itself from the shadows and turned to see the golden eyes of Morrigan watching her curiously. Her face broke into an automatic grin at the sight of the witch, and the woman looked momentarily taken aback. Delight was not normally an emotion she evoked in others. 

“Cullen. Jane,” said the Inquisitor. “Thank you for joining us.” He nodded towards Morrigan. “I don’t think you’ve met Morrigan as yet? She returned from the Winter Palace with us to assist in tracking down Corypheus.” 

“Delighted,” Morrigan nodded, in a tone that made it quite clear that she did not, in fact, feel thus by their presence. 

Jane couldn’t suppress an eye roll and Josephine had to stifle a giggle at Morrigan’s expression. The witch lifted a single eyebrow and made a mental note to re-evaluate this strange woman, whom she’d initially written off merely as the Commander’s love interest. Clearly she had an attitude if nothing else. 

Max, impatient to move on from introductions, merely launched into the order of business he felt was most pressing. “You mentioned when we first met that Corypheus was not in fact looking for the eluvian in the Arbor Wilds,” he said. “I was hoping this was something we could discuss with Morrigan as she seemed very certain.” 

Cullen looked towards Jane. “Should I start?” he asked. 

She shrugged. “I can if you want. I’m sure you’ll have a better idea of the military significance so I can just explain the basics then.”

He nodded in agreement. This interaction alone caused greater ripples than either of them knew. All present were used to Cullen taking command, and to see him defer towards another, who was not his military superior, was surreal. Leliana and Josephine exchanged glances, a small smile playing over the Nightingale’s lips. This was a Cullen she had no experience with but she was very curious to see how things developed.

Jane took a breath. “Corypheus is in fact, looking for something known as the Well of Sorrows. It contains knowledge that he’s looking for. All the collective knowledge of the ancient elves to be precise, and you absolutely need to stop him from gaining access to it,” she began.

“To be sure, that would be a great prize,” interrupted Morrigan. “But how can you be so certain that this is what he desires? Being able to enter the Fade via an eluvian is also an attractive prospect to one such as him.”

Jane looked at Maxwell. “You haven’t told her then?” she asked matter of factly. 

Max looked uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he hadn’t intended to, but for some reason he was hoping to catch Jane out, to prove her wrong somehow. And if he was perfectly honest, Morrigan herself made him uncomfortable and so he’d avoided her, forgetting she hadn’t been in on the meeting yesterday and so was not briefed on the entire situation. “Well, no, I hadn’t told her much about you, but…”

Jane cut him off, a note of frustration in her voice. “You can’t expect her to understand what I’m saying if you haven’t given her all the information. Part of the problem in the story is that you journey to the Arbor Wilds thinking you’re looking for the eluvian and you end up having to adjust your plans. There are factors you should know ahead of time, and I can’t…”

“Story?” Morrigan asked. “What story?” For once there was no derision in her voice, merely curiosity. 

Jane sighed irritably and redirected her gaze to Max, raising an eyebrow. Cullen, seeing the conflict brewing, interjected, taking control of the situation. “Alright, Morrigan, if you don’t mind, can you follow me please? I’ll explain everything to you and once you’re up to date we can discuss the trip to the Arbor Wilds.”

She nodded and followed Cullen out of the room, glancing back at Jane curiously.

As the door thudded shut behind them, Jane turned to Max. “What is your problem?” she asked him, hands on her hips. “I understand that you didn’t want me here, I really do get that, but would you not follow the… person… you loved, if you were in my place?” She caught herself just in time as she’d been ranting - she wasn’t sure who knew how he felt about Dorian, or at the very least how Dorian felt about him. She sighed in frustration. “I really am trying to help you here, and no, you may not quite believe me, it’s an unbelievable story, but if you really need proof, I can provide it for you, I didn’t come unprepared you know.” 

There was silence. Max was a little shocked. Nobody had spoken to him like that in… well, perhaps ever. He felt a sensation in his chest... one he struggled to identify for a moment, and he realised with a start it was shame. He had been behaving badly, as if she was an inconvenience that needed to be dealt with. 

Josephine cleared her throat delicately. “Jane,” she said politely, “it’s not that we don’t believe you, but…”

“No Josie,” Max cut her off. He was leaning on the war table, staring down at the map. “She’s right. I’ve been suspicious and rude.” He looked up at Jane. “I was more focused on getting Cullen to return with us, and then when we arrived back I wanted everything to go back to how it was before, but instead you were here and he was distracted. When you arrived this morning and he wasn’t in armour, well to be honest, I was annoyed because it’s unlike him and I was looking for someone to blame.” He sighed heavily. “Please, accept my apologies.”

Jane froze. She hadn’t been expecting that from the Inquisitor at all. “Oh… well, to be honest part of the reason he’s not wearing his armour is because it needs to be cleaned…” she said. “He hasn’t worn it in a while…” 

There was silence and suddenly Max broke into a smile. He began to chuckle. “Of course. Maker forbid Cullen ever wear unpolished armour!” 

Jane looked at the Inquisitor in surprise, and then a giggle bubbled out from her chest and she sighed, partly in relief. “Inquisitor, please, you need to understand that Cullen when I first met him was frantic to get home, but once we determined that there was no way for him to do that - well, his routine, the way he thinks about and interacts with people has in many ways, shifted. He had to adjust to a whole new world where everything was unfamiliar, and the fact that he did it so quickly is a testament to how resilient he is as a person.” 

She hesitated. “Do you all know of his…” she glanced at Cassandra, “condition?” 

Max looked uncomfortable but nodded. “Everyone in this room is aware of the Commander’s lyrium withdrawal. When he didn’t return, I shared it with those who were not immediately aware because I was worried about him and how he would cope with the additional stress. There was no way to hide it.”

Jane nodded. “I’m not saying that’s no longer a problem, but for some reason it’s not as bad as I think it has been in the past. I don’t know if it was something psychological about being on Earth, or the lack of magic, but whatever the reason, I don’t know whether it will be better or worse now he’s back on Thedas.” She grimaced. “It’s something that needs to be monitored I suspect.” 

She paused briefly and then turned to Cassandra. “Seeker, could I um… could I ask a favour?” she said timidly. 

Cassandra looked at her in surprise. “You may ask,” she responded, her answer making it clear she wouldn’t necessarily agree to the request. 

Jane nodded. “If you haven’t already, could you remove his lyrium kit from his drawer? I forgot to check if it was there, and I think not having it in such close proximity will keep his mind from wandering there. I suspect he hasn’t thought about using lyrium while he’s been with me, mainly because it wasn’t an option. It’s not something that exists in my world.” 

Cassandra nodded in agreement. “I’ll go now,” she said, simply turning and exiting the room without another word. 

Jane turned back to the other councillors. “If you need proof, I can show you,” she said. “I have books…” she faltered. “Shit, that you can’t read… Our written language is different.” 

She hesitated and looked around. “I’ll have to check something with Cullen, but, well I can consider showing you some other things that may convince you…” 

Max shook his head. “We can discuss that, but let’s see if we can get off on a better footing shall we?” He smiled wryly at her. “I will do my best to not be a complete ass and I will try to take what you say at face value, if you will agree to provide us with as much accurate information as possible. Agreed?” 

She nodded and reached out her hand to shake his. He hesitated a moment, then shook her hand firmly. 

“Well I hope that means you’re getting along better?” Cullen said behind them as he re-entered the room with Morrigan a step behind.

Max released Jane’s hand and nodded. “Morrigan up to date?” he asked. 

“I am,” she responded. “I have many questions, but Cullen has promised that either he or Jane will answer them to the best of their ability later.”

“Excellent,” Max said. “Now, let’s get back to the subject at hand. Regardless of whether we’re looking for an eluvian or this Well of Sorrows, we still need to go to the Arbor Wilds, correct?”

Jane and Cullen both nodded. 

“Then we still need a plan of action,” he said.

_____________________________________

It was afternoon when they all left the War Room, now with a renewed sense of purpose. It wasn’t ideal, in fact there were still many unanswered questions and the Inquisition forces were stretched thin, but with Jane’s information and the resources available to them, they would march on the Arbor Wilds within the week. 

As they walked through the main hall, Jane spotted Varric standing in his customary spot by the fire. She touched Cullen’s arm. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” she said, inclining her head towards the dwarf. 

He followed her gaze and nodded. Striding out the front doors of the hall, eyes turned towards him and she anticipated he would be stopped by half a dozen people at least on his way back to his quarters. 

“Varric,” she said, walking about behind the dwarf. He turned towards her and smiled cautiously. 

“Jane,” he replied. “How may I help?”

“You’ll have to come up with a nickname for me at some point I suspect,” she joked.

Varric’s smile froze. “You really do know a great deal about many things,” he said eyeing her cautiously. 

“You have no idea,” she responded chuckling. Her face turned serious. “I wanted to ask you some things though, if that’s alright with you?” 

Varric grinned, “Well you’ve come to the right place to ask questions,” he said. 

“Oh I know, I just… well some of them may be of a sensitive nature and, I…” she hesitated, “I didn’t want to upset you.”

His face became guarded. “What kind of things?” he asked. 

“About Hawke,” she replied, taking a seat at the table next to him. The fire was warm. “And about Kirkwall.” 

Varric frowned. “What do you want to know?” he asked cautiously. “Surely Cullen must have told you what happened?”

“Yes, he did, but he has… a different perspective on some things, and I was looking for yours,” she replied. 

He looked confused. “Ok, well, ask away then I guess.” 

“So Hawke survived Adamant,” she said, “Cullen told me that much, but it was Stroud that stayed in the Fade?” she asked him. “Or Alistair?” She was trying to remember which world state Cullen had played, and he’d been so caught up in other aspects of the game that they hadn’t discussed all the intricacies. She needed to know other details.

He nodded sadly. “Stroud. He was a good man.” He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “And Alistair? You mean, like King Alistair? Alistair Theirin?” Varric was reeling a little. Surely she couldn’t mean that the King might have joined the Inquisition?

“And Kirkwall?” she asked, ignoring his question. “I know about… I mean, did Anders… did he live?” 

Varric frowned. “He did. Hawke spared him, although I couldn’t tell you now where he is, he’s been on the run for years. Last I heard he was still alive. Him and Justice.” 

Jane bit her lip, debating whether or not to ask the next question. “This will seem strange, I get that, but… well who was… is Hawke romantically involved with?” 

Varric stared at her incredulously and burst out laughing, causing those closest to them to glance their way. “Do we have a bit of a crush?” he joked. “Need me to put in a word for you?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, I just… well, the stories I’ve heard tend to differ… in details,” she replied. “I’m curious as to which version this is.”

Varric regarded her shrewdly. He knew there was something she wasn’t telling him, but he was trying to figure out what it was. “Broody,” he said eventually, purposefully using the elf’s nickname to see if she understood. 

Jane nodded. “Makes sense,” she murmured. Her mind was ticking over. Why were the details as they were? Why was the world state like this? Were there other possibilities? Or just opportunities missed? Her head felt like it was going to explode. 

Varric watched her as she processed this information, until she glanced sharply at him, realising she’d been silent. “Thank you Varric,” she replied, standing up abruptly and turning to go. She stopped and turned back. “One last thing Varric, and I’m sorry to ask, but what happened to Bartrand?”

Varric looked at her, eyes narrowed. His brother and the whole debacle in Kirkwall with the red lyrium idol weren’t widely known, he’d made sure of that. He paused, trying to assess what her motives were, but he couldn't deduce anything other than curiosity. “He’s in an asylum,” he said softly. 

Jane looked at him, and for a moment he thought he saw approval in her eyes. She nodded, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder briefly before bidding him goodbye and departing. 

Varric sat and stared into the fire, his mind turning the questions she’d asked him over and over. About Hawke. About Bartrand. He’d never considered that Hawke might not survive. I mean, he’d been worried about her, but the fact that she might actually have died? That had never crossed his mind - I mean, she was invincible right? The thought of her death made his heart flutter unpleasantly and he felt a little ill. She’d returned to Broody after the Adamant escapade. Still willing to help, but knowing if she stayed away any longer, Fenris would come looking for her, and no one wanted to see the elf on the warpath. Especially any of them who had been in Kirkwall! They knew exactly what that was like. 

What made him more curious was when she asked him if the Warden had been Stroud or Alistair. Alistair Theirin? The King? I mean, everyone knew he was a Warden, but the fact he may have had an option not to take the throne? And if he wasn’t on the throne what were the alternatives? He shuddered at the thought. Alistair was a good king. The woman who had been named the Hero of Fereldan ruled alongside him, a Cousland from the Free Marches if he remembered correctly. Varric had never been very interested in nobility. I mean, Hawke was technically noble, but the majority of them just spent their days spending money and thinking they were better than everyone in his opinion.

Her last question about Bartrand had thrown him off. He supposed if she knew everything else, then why wouldn’t she know about Bartrand, but it seemed she really cared how he had handled the situation. He remembered thinking he should just kill his brother and put him out of his misery, but Hawke…. Maker bless her, had talked him down. That red lyrium idol had fucked with his mind, and he really didn’t need more blood on his hands. It had done enough damage to Bartrand as it was. 

Varric sat and pondered. Absently he pulled out his notebook and wrote in it. He might not know what all this meant, but when all this was over it would make a great story.


	17. Fake it till you make it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane explores Skyhold, Cullen returns to his duties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see I picked up a fair number of new readers since I posted the last chapter, and I really just want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this fic. You'll have seen me mention that it's been a really rough year for me (even before COVID!) and to see people enjoying and engaging with content that I've produced, mainly just because I enjoy it, is very gratifying. It's something I've noticed about the AO3 community, and I really appreciate - so many people are really supportive.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this next chapter :) @Gabby0515 - Thanks for reading this all seemingly in one go and happy birthday for Friday to a fellow May baby :)

Cullen exited the main hall, intent on making his way back to his office, noticing as he did how low the sun was in the sky. He hadn’t realised it was so late. He had a whole list of things he needed to action, orders to write, requisitions and so on, and his mind was spinning. He’d been thrown back into command, and although it was anticipated, he had been out of practice for a few months and now needed to wrap his head around what needed to be done. 

“Commander Cullen!” 

He looked up as a voice broke through his reverie. It was a nobleman, one of the many that seemed to frequent Skyhold, although he couldn’t remember their names.

“Uh, yes?” he replied politely. 

“Commander, I really need to speak to you about the deployment of…” 

The man’s nasally voice blurred in his ears and Cullen merely nodded thoughtfully as he ranted on about, something. He wasn’t actually paying attention he realised as he tried to focus on the man’s words. 

“...and what I want to know is what you’re going to do about it?” the man demanded. 

Cullen looked at him blankly before shaking himself. “Well my lord,” he began, “what I would suggest is that you put this all down in writing. Unfortunately I have a number of things that demand my attention right now, and I need to prioritise them. The only way I can do that is if I can see all the circumstances before me. Please do send a note with your concerns to my office, and I’ll look into it when I have a moment.” He nodded politely and turned away. “Please excuse me,” he said, leaving the man staring open mouthed at his back as he walked away. If it was serious enough someone else would also bring it to his attention he decided. There was too much on his mind right now to worry about the concerns of some stuck-up noble. 

He sighed heavily as he made his way up the stairs, heading back towards his quarters.

“Uncertain. Scared. Trying not to show how ambivalent you are to be back. How glad you are she’s with you. How much you’ve changed.”

Cullen turned at the sound of a soft voice and saw Cole, his back to the Commander, his legs dangling over the top of the wall, facing out towards the mountains. 

“Cole,” he said. “It’s fine, but thank you.” He’d developed a new appreciation for Cole after playing through the game on Earth, but in reality he still made Cullen uncomfortable. 

“I can help?” the boy said hopefully. “If you want me to, I can help.”

Cullen shook his head. “No, I’m alright, thank you Cole.” 

The boy nodded slightly and then vanished, leaving Cullen staring at empty air. He sighed again and continued on to his office. As he pushed open the door, he saw one of the servants polishing his armour and he paused in the doorway. 

She looked up as he entered, stopping what she was doing and bowing her head. Cullen noticed she was elven. “Good day Commander. Lady Cassandra asked me to clean your armour Sir. And your sword Sir.” 

Cullen saw his sword leaning against his desk, still in its scabbard. He’d fully intended to clean both of these things himself but he supposed he now had too much to do - he’d likely need to send his sword down to Harritt to make sure it was still sharp and in good condition. He nodded. “Thank you…?” he said, pausing as he waited for her to give him her name.

She looked at him blankly, a blush touching her cheeks and he realised she didn’t know what he was asking. 

“What’s your name?” he asked gently. 

“Oh! Oh, it’s um, Fiola sir,” she replied, her blush deepening. 

“Thank you Fiola, it’s greatly appreciated,” he said. Cullen walked over to his desk. The mound of paperwork seemed to have increased in his absence and he wondered briefly if people just kept sending him missives, even when he wasn’t there. He sat down behind his desk, sighing heavily as he looked for blank parchment and a quill. His ink pot was empty and he pulled open his drawers, looking for an ink bottle, eventually finding one and refilling the pot. 

He began to make a list of the things he needed to do first, noticing with disappointment that it filled up quite quickly. Beginning with the most urgent he began to write out orders, placing them in a neat pile next to him - he’d send them all for dispatch at once when he was done. As he sank back into the familiarity of his work, Cullen didn’t notice as the candle burned down next to him and Fiola quietly replaced it with another. She finished cleaning his armour and placed everything neatly on his armour stand in the corner. He nodded absently when she told him she was leaving, absorbed as he was in the pile of papers scattered across his desk. 

___________________

Jane left Varric, fully intending to head back towards Cullen’s quarters, but at the last moment she decided to head down to the stables. She was not certain if Blackwall was still there, but she was curious to see which mounts the Inquisitor had accumulated. 

She walked into the stables, noticing the rocking horse that still sat on the table where Blackwall had left it. He was nowhere to be seen and she wondered if he just wasn’t around or if he was in Orlais, confessing to his crimes as Thom Rainier. She would ask someone later. Perhaps subtly, she decided. 

“Can I help you?” a voice behind her said, and she turned to see Dennet. 

“Hi,” she said, sticking out her hand, “I’m Jane.”

He looked at her and tentatively shook her hand, releasing it quickly. There was an awkward silence.

“I uh, arrived with Cullen,” she said, by way of explanation. “Commander Cullen. The Commander. Um…” she was stumbling over her words nervously. 

Dennet had heard news of Cullen’s return with a strange woman in tow, but she certainly wasn’t what he’d expected. His eyes swept appraisingly over her tattoos, wondering at the strange images. She blushed and swallowed uncomfortably. 

“I just… I wanted to see the horses,” she said shrugging a little. “And some of the more… exotic mounts. We don’t have anything like those where I’m from.” 

Dennet continued to stare at her, eyes narrowed. 

“Ok, well, um… I’ll just…” She turned to go. Well that didn’t go as expected, she thought.

“Come this way,” he said, turning towards the stalls. 

Jane grinned. “Oh, um… right. Great! Thanks!” she exclaimed, feeling a little relieved. She followed Dennet. 

“Don’t touch any of the dracolisks,” he said. “They have a tendency to be aggressive towards people they don’t know - rather look at them from a distance.” He continued, “You can touch the harts and the horses if you hold out your hand slowly and gently. If they come towards you, particularly the harts, and put their nose in your hand, they’re giving you permission to stroke them. If they don’t, back away and lower your hand.” 

Jane nodded, walking softly towards the stalls, peering inside. A screech came from inside the first one, and a strange, reptilian looking creature, green and red in colour, stared at her. “What breed is it?” she asked Dennet softly. 

He glanced at her. “A Sharp-Tail,” he replied. “Quite rare, but fast, a good fighting steed.”

She nodded, noting the intelligence in it’s eyes. She asked questions about the different steeds, and Dennet, clearly enjoying displaying his knowledge, opened up a little. After visiting, and touching the harts, she looked around. “No Nuggalopes?” she asked. 

Dennet laughed. He’d warmed to this woman, Jane. Her smile and warm nature made it easy to like her, and he’d softened after seeing her with the animals. She reminded him of his daughter. “Nuggalopes?” he said. “Someone’s been filling your head with stories, girl. There’s no such thing.”

Jane smiled mysteriously but said nothing. Clearly that was a mission that still needed to be unlocked. She thanked Dennet for showing her around, and started to make her way back towards Cullen’s quarters. As she was about to climb the stairs, she heard her name being called. Turning she saw Dorian waving at her and she changed direction. 

“Dorian,” she grinned. “What can I do for you?”

The mage grinned. “I thought perhaps you might like to join me for a glass of wine?” he asked. “None of that swill that’s in Herald’s Rest, something from my own store. Tevinter wine is of course far superior to anything else.”

Jane hesitated, glancing up the stairs. She had told Cullen she wouldn’t be long and she’d already taken a detour. 

“If it helps, I walked past his office and he was so absorbed in his work he didn’t even notice me poke my head through the door,” he smirked. “I’m sure you can sneak away for a glass of wine.”

Jane grinned. “Why, Dorian Pavus, I do believe you are a bad influence,” she said, laughing.

“So I’ve been told on numerous occasions,” he replied, offering his arm. “Shall we?”

She took his arm and allowed him to lead her to the library, providing gossip on all the nobles they walked past on their way. She could feel eyes on them, but of course when she turned her head, people were looking in the other direction. When they finally reached the library, Dorian led her to a chair by the window, one she immediately recognised from the game - how surreal she thought to herself. He disappeared momentarily to retrieve a bottle of red wine and two glasses. 

Jane looked around. This had always been one of her favourite areas in Skyhold. She loved books and libraries. The smell, the feel of the paper - discovering new books was something she’d always enjoyed. She picked up a book lying next to the chair and opened it, and was reminded with a jolt that she couldn’t read the language. Jane felt her stomach flutter. Had she done the right thing coming here? Sure, the reality often wasn’t as perfect as the dream, but when she played Dragon Age, escaping to a world of magic such as this seemed infinitely desirable. She sighed. She’d followed Cullen because she was in love with him, and at the time she was convinced she’d made the right decision, but now she was here she was feeling the anxiety bubble up. If she wasn’t careful it would overwhelm her. 

She put the book down again just as Dorian reappeared and handed her a glass of wine before settling himself in a chair. She took a sip. Oh that was good wine indeed! Definitely better than the stuff she’d gotten so drunk on the night before at the Herald. She leaned back in her chair and sighed as she watched the sun start to go down towards the horizon. 

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” he said softly. 

Jane smiled. “I guess.” 

“Having second thoughts?” he asked. 

She looked up, startled. “How did you know?” she asked. Then, “Please don’t tell Cullen.”

“Oh, not to worry, I’m adept at keeping secrets,” he said, she thought a little sadly. 

“Have you told him?” she asked bluntly. 

Dorian chuckled. “Oh no, this is not about me, my dear, it’s all about you! Stop trying to change the subject.”

She sighed. “It’s not that I’m having second thoughts about Cullen,” she replied, taking another sip of wine. She ran her finger around the lip of the glass. A goblet more than a glass she thought to herself. Dorian waited, saying nothing. “I just… I think I didn’t anticipate all… this,” she said waving her hand vaguely in the air. “I mean, that was stupid of me really, but it’s different when people are characters in a story. No matter how much you might love them, and relate to them, the reality is that this is so outside my realm of experience. I know the events, and the backstories, but I don’t really know the world as a reality, you know?” 

She looked at him, a frown on her face. “And now I’m thinking, well, actually what else can I do here? Cullen is the Commander of the Inquisition. And who am I? I’m nobody. I have no skills here. I can’t fight. I can’t do magic. I can’t even read the damn books. The reputation I had built up in my world, in my field, that’s all pointless here.” She could hear her voice getting higher in pitch as her panic level started to rise a little. Her eyes welled up with tears and she took a deep breath. She really didn’t want to cry in front of Dorian of all people. Actually, Vivienne would be worse she thought to herself. Be grateful for small mercies. 

“Jane,” he said gently. “Don’t you think Cullen might have felt the same when he arrived on Earth? You said yourself that he couldn’t have waved a sword around without being put in prison, and that’s all he knew. All he knew was to fight. He learned how to read your books. He learned how to adapt. He developed new skills. I’m sure you can do the same.”

She sniffed. She knew she was being dramatic, but she’d been so confident when she’d made the decision to return with Cullen. So certain it was the right choice and that love would overcome any challenges, and now, confronted with the reality she was having serious doubts. She sighed. “No, you’re right. I know you’re right. I think that’s part of the problem. I feel incidental. And what if… well, I mean Cullen knows the story now, he doesn’t need me.”

“Jane,” Dorian said sternly, “You’re just feeling insecure and sorry for yourself. I have never, and I mean never,” he chuckled, “seen the Commander look at anyone like he looks at you. He was absolutely livid when he thought the Inquisitor might suggest we leave without telling you. Even, and I don’t think it’s true, but even if technically we didn’t need you for this and you had no practical skills in Thedas, Cullen is absolutely in love with you. I can see it in the way he acts, in the way he’s changed since he’s been away. And I think that’s all you.”

He reached out and took her hand. “Don’t doubt yourself, I have a feeling you’re going to make a huge contribution.”

She smiled, albeit a bit miserably, and nodded at him. “I don’t know about that, but… I guess I’ll try not to be a complete drag,” she said.

“I’m quite certain I don’t know what that means,” he chuckled, “but it sounds dreadful.”

Jane grinned. Dorian’s laughter was infectious. “It is indeed,” she replied. She leaned back and studied the mage who smiled cheekily at her. 

“Admiring my good looks again I see?” he teased. 

“Always,” she said with a smirk, “but enough about me and my insecurities. Let’s talk instead about a certain Inquisitor…”

Dorian rolled his eyes and took a sip of his wine, deflecting as always. “What about him?”

“Well, I noticed a certain… tension, between the two of you,” she commented. “Or am I misreading the situation entirely?”

Dorian studied her. He was so used to concealing who he was, that he wasn’t entirely sure if she was baiting him. “I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re aware of my… preferences?” he asked. 

Jane nodded. “I won’t say anything if that’s what you want,” she replied. “I mean, you know I’m aware of elements of the story…” she stopped herself. “I’m sorry, I think of it as a story, but for you it’s your life and I know, well I mean I don’t know, but I’m aware of what you’ve been through.” She could feel herself babbling nervously. “I didn’t mean to… trivialise anything.” She sighed. “I wasn’t trying to be insensitive.”

Dorian shook his head. He’d developed a thick skin over the years and he knew she meant well. “If you’re feeling how I felt when I arrived on Earth, it’s a lot to take in, no matter how much you think you know.” 

Jane sipped her wine, nodding miserably. She knew she was feeling sorry for herself, but she felt like she was just fucking all of this up. It had seemed so straightforward, but she kept forgetting that these people didn’t actually know her, even though she knew almost everything about them. “I just wanted to tell you, that you should just be yourself,” she murmured. “He’ll love you for who you are.”

“I don’t know who “myself” is to be honest,” the mage said, smiling sadly at her. He huffed a soft laugh and took another sip of wine. “Well aren’t we a sorry pair? I rather suspect this bottle of wine is going to be finished in short order.” 

Jane smiled back and leaned over to ching her glass against his. “Here’s to faking it till you make it.”

“Fake it till you make it? Yes, I believe I could do that.” 

___________________

Jane made her way unsteadily back to Cullen’s quarters a couple of hours later. She and Dorian had indeed finished the entire bottle of wine and skipped dinner. Cullen hadn’t come looking for her so she figured he was caught up in something or other. It wasn’t like Skyhold was that big so if he’d really wanted to find her he could have done so. 

Dorian was exactly as much fun as she’d always imagined him to be. He reminded her of Isaac in so many ways that she felt a little homesick. She was reminded that she hadn’t told any of her friends except Adam where she was going, mainly because he was the only one who knew where Cullen was really from. Isaac would never have understood, no matter how close they were. She missed her friends - they were like family - especially since she didn’t have any real family. They had never known Jane to be particularly impulsive so this would have been very out of character for her - Frieda would have definitely tried to talk her out of it, she knew. The guilt hit her in the gut and she grimaced, feeling it like physical pain. 

Pushing it down again, she looked around to gain her bearings, realising she would need to cut through Solas’s atrium if she wanted the quickest route back to Cullen. Her heart began to beat hard - she hadn’t really spoken to Solas and she wasn’t sure she wanted to engage much with him - at least not right now. She contemplated going the long way around but she really wasn’t steady enough to do that without potentially getting lost. Taking a breath she walked through the door and looked around cautiously to find the area empty. Solas must be elsewhere. Breathing a sigh of relief she cut through the open space quickly to the door across the way that led outside, her heart pounding the entire time. 

Once outside she hurried across the bridge, hunching her shoulders against the cold, and up the steps to Cullen’s office, pushing open the door. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she realised why he hadn’t come looking for her. He was asleep with his head on his desk, a candle almost completely burned down, and a quill held loosely in his hand. Closing the door softly behind her, Jane walked over to him, noticing the pile of orders stacked neatly to one side of the desk, all written in his neat hand in a script she couldn’t read. She sighed and shook her head. Old habits obviously died hard, she thought to herself. She looked around his office and saw his armour, cleaned and hanging on the stand in the corner and vaguely wondered who had polished it. 

Deciding he would definitely be more comfortable in bed, she gently reached down and shook his shoulder. In a flash his hand was on her wrist, squeezing it in a vice-like grip. He sat up straight, his eyes flashing and for a moment Jane saw no recognition in them when he looked at her, just anger. 

“Cullen!” she croaked, her throat tight and her heart pounding. His grip was hurting her wrist. “Cullen, it’s me!” 

She saw the change on his face as he let go of her, pulling his hand back as if he’d been burned. “Maker Jane, I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice strangled. “I thought… I just…” He stood up and pulled her into his arms, holding her to him. She hesitated but then wound her arms round his waist, resting her head on his chest. 

Stepping back after a few seconds, he held her gently by the shoulders and asked,”Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you did I?” 

She rubbed her wrist, it was a little sore where he’d grabbed her, but not damaged. “I’m ok. It’s fine, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Please don’t apologise,” he said, a frown creasing his forehead. “I was dreaming, and I just… it took a moment for me to realise.” He rubbed the back of his neck in pain. He’d clearly been hunching over his desk. 

He looked at her anxiously. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”

Jane shook her head. She worried about him and wondered what he’d been dreaming about. She knew he likely wouldn’t talk about it right now, so she didn’t press him. Instead she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. “Come to bed Cullen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, constructive criticism always welcome :) 
> 
> As this is really a "let's see where this goes" fic - if you have any ideas or things you'd like to see I'm always open to suggestions. I may or may not use them, but it's interesting to see other people's perspectives!


	18. Awkward Breakfasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost time to leave for the Arbor Wilds. Preparations underway.

Cullen awoke, having slept badly. He had tossed and turned all night, dreaming of Adamant, of demons and battles, and he awoke with a dull headache. He groaned and rolled over in bed, realising that Jane was not beside him. He sat up, slightly too quickly, causing his head to pound unpleasantly, and swung his legs out of the bed, feeling the chill in the air as the warmth of the blankets fell away. He really needed to get that hole in the roof fixed. He liked being able to see the stars, but in weather like this it was too cold.

He paused, listening, as he realised he could hear something downstairs. He moved towards the ladder and peered down into his office and almost fell over when he saw Jane’s ass in the air, facing him. He realised, as she shifted into another position and held it, that she was doing what she referred to as yoga. 

He climbed down the ladder, still barefoot and without a shirt and shivered in the chill. He glanced out the window and realised it was earlier than he had initially thought; the sun was barely up and he hadn’t actually overslept.

“Jane?” he said as she was facing away from him. She ignored him. 

Cullen frowned, it was a bit strange for Jane to act that way. He felt shame as he realised she must be angry at him for grabbing her wrist and hurting her the night before. 

“Jane?” he tried again, this time walking around so he was in front of her. It was then he noticed the earphones in her ears. Her eyes were closed as she breathed steadily, her arms stretched up towards the ceiling. As she prepared to shift into another pose she opened her eyes and noticed him standing in front of her. 

Her face broke into a smile and his stomach dropped in relief. She pulled the earphones out and he could hear music playing from them. “Hey,” she said. “I didn’t want to wake you.” She gestured to the earphones. Frowning she looked him up and down. “Are you ok? You look a little pale.”

Cullen shook his head, wincing at the movement. “I’m alright, just a bit of a headache. I didn’t sleep well.” 

“I know you could probably go and get a potion or something,” she said, “but I have painkillers in my bag if you want?” She shrugged, “I mean, I know they won’t last forever, but I would rather have stuff I’m used to, at least initially.” 

Cullen hesitated. He’d taken painkillers while on Earth, but never for what he desperately hoped wasn’t a lyrium headache. What the hell he decided, if he left it, it would likely just get worse. He nodded and she climbed the ladder, rummaging around in her bag. A few moments later she descended with a couple of small white pills. He looked around for some water, finding a pitcher from the night before on his desk. Swallowing them down he nodded in thanks. 

“I thought I had overslept,” he admitted. 

Jane laughed. “No, I was just awake early and decided to do some yoga.” She shrugged. “I charged my headphones and I like to listen to music while I exercise. I didn’t want to wake you with the noise.” She frowned. “And your headache? Just from sleeping badly or…?” She left the question hanging. 

Cullen felt anxious. Jane had never really seen him with lyrium headaches. For some reason they didn’t seem to be something he’d suffered much from on Earth and he knew he wasn’t a nice person to be around when they got really bad. He was short-tempered and grouchy. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I’m… not sure,” he replied. “I’m hoping it's just a normal headache.” 

She nodded. “Ok, well let me know if you want anything else. You can take those pills every four hours, so if it’s still lingering you can take more.” She eyed him. “And much as I’m loath to get you into clothes, some food and something to drink will help.” 

She grinned as he blushed, suddenly realising his state of undress. “Get dressed and let’s see if we can rustle up some food. I’ll just put on a hoodie.” 

A couple of minutes later, they made their way down to the dining hall. Even though he knew people would stare at them, Cullen was dressed in trackpants and a hoodie. One thing he really liked about the clothing he’d brought with him from Earth was their comfort. The material was easy to move in and soft on his skin even if it didn’t provide much protection in his world. They weren’t the only ones up and about early and although the keep wasn’t bustling, there were enough people around to notice them. 

Surprisingly as they sat down to some breakfast - Jane had insisted Cullen have something to fill his stomach, so eggs and bacon it was - the Inquisitor joined them. Cullen nodded at him. “Inquisitor,” he said. “You’re up early.”

Max grinned. “I could say the same about you,” he replied. 

Cullen shrugged. “Things to do,” he said. 

“Places to go, people to see,” finished Jane. 

They both turned and stared at her. 

“What?” Max said. 

“Places to go, people to see, things to do” she repeated, taking a bite of her food. She glanced between them and finished chewing. “Guess that’s not a saying here.” She shrugged and turned her attention to her food again. 

Max and Cullen exchanged glances, the latter with a smirk on his lips. He loved the fact that she threw everyone off their game. It was the same for him when he first met her, but now he barely even noticed. 

“Anyway,” he said, “What do you need, Inquisitor?”

Max frowned. “Oh... actually I was just joining you for breakfast, I didn’t need anything,” he said uncomfortably. “I hope that’s alright?” he asked. Was that really how people saw him? Just a figurehead? Not a friend?

Cullen hesitated and then smiled, nodding. Jane on the other hand laughed out loud, almost to herself. She found it amusing that he was catching feelings about people thinking he wanted something. Once again, they both turned to look at her. She grinned at Max. “You need to lighten up a little,” she said. She swung her legs out from her chair. “I’m going on a coffee mission. You guys want?”

Cullen nodded and pointed to a section of the dining hall. “You can get some over there,” he said. 

She rolled her eyes. “I know, I always scope out the coffee first before anything else.” She turned to Max and looked at him expectantly. “How do you like it?” 

“Uh…” he said, a bit confused. Coffee was always just black wasn’t it?

“Oh,” said Cullen, “I didn’t think. You might not be able to get milk here. It’s somewhat scarce as it spoils so quickly.”

Jane grimaced and grumbled to herself. “Of course, no pasteurisation…” She shrugged and walked away.

Max turned to Cullen. “She…” 

Cullen waited with an amused expression. “Yes?”

“She… continues to surprise me,” he said. “I just don’t really know what to think.” 

Cullen burst out laughing, causing a number of people to look over at him in surprise. Many of them had never heard the Commander laugh out loud before. Even Max looked taken aback. 

“She continues to surprise me as well,” he said, “and I’ve known her for months.” 

“Cullen,” Max began, then hesitated. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask, just that Cullen knew some of what was coming, and he felt more comfortable hearing it from someone who really understood. 

The Commander looked at him, his amber eyes bright and glowing in the early morning light. The sun was streaming in through the window, touching his golden hair and making it look like a halo. Max had never felt so inadequate and uncertain. The Commander frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“I… I’m not sure what to do,” he said. “I was hoping, well, I was hoping you could tell me.”

Cullen shook his head. “I’ll give you guidance on what your options are, but the actual decision needs to be yours. If I’m just telling you what to do, then… I don’t know, it’s like I’m a puppet master, and I feel like that’s just asking for trouble. Also, I think the fact that it’s your decision is quite important here. There’s no right or wrong, it’s all what you make of it.” 

Max sighed in frustration. “Alright then. Well, be ready to leave in two days time. We need to get to the Arbor Wilds as quickly as possible.”

“Two days…” Cullen murmured, running his hand through his hair. On Jane’s insistence, he no longer used anything to keep it in check and the golden curls, now needing a cut, parted easily under his fingers. 

“Is that a problem?” 

“What? No, I was just thinking how much there is to do in that time. I feel unprepared.”

Maxwell opened his mouth to reply when Jane returned, her hands full as she balanced three cups of coffee. 

She placed a cup in front of everyone and grimaced. “Black coffee only I’m afraid, but I think I might be the only one among us that’s bothered by that.” 

Max nodded his thanks and turned back to Cullen. He didn’t really want to discuss this in front of Jane, but he knew he didn’t have much of an option. “You’ll be fine Cullen. You have the added advantage that you two know what’s coming, which makes it easier to give us guidance.” 

Jane nodded in agreement. “I’ll send all my notes with you as well,” she said. “Makes it easier to refer back to them and counter if anything changes.” 

Cullen looked startled. “Your notes?” he asked. “You’re not coming?” 

Jane gaped at him. “What? Um, no, I wasn’t planning on it. I would just be a liability.”

Max privately agreed, but he didn’t want to get in the middle of this given the rocky start to his relationship with her. 

“A liability? Jane, you know the circumstances better than anyone here, even me,” he said. “I need you in the field.”

“Cullen, be reasonable,” she argued, “I can’t fight. I can’t fire a bow, let alone lift a sword. If the Venatori were susceptible to the visual arts I could perhaps be of use, but what am I going to do? Sit in your tent and wait until you call me while you waste resources protecting me?”

“But…” he started. 

“But what?” she interrupted. “You know I’m right? I don’t know the first thing about being in a battle. Best case scenario here is you go find the Well of Sorrows without me and if you’re able to leave someone behind they can maybe train me in a bit of weapons something so I can at least stick someone with the pointy end of a sword if they try to kill me.” She shrugged. “Worst case you can’t leave someone to do that and I’ll find something else to do while you’re away that will hopefully be useful.” 

The Commander scowled. He knew she was right, but he was loath to be without her guidance. Or indeed without her. 

Jane turned to Max. “Tell him I’m right,” she said. “I know _you_ think so.” 

Max swallowed. He was reluctant to say anything to upset the Commander, but he did think it was best to leave her at Skyhold. He smiled ruefully at Cullen. “She is right you know. The Arbor Wilds is not a welcoming place by all accounts, or at least that’s what Morrigan tells us. Taking Jane with us is like taking Josie and expecting her to act like Leliana. She has other talents, but fighting is not one of them.” 

“Actually Josie probably has better fighting skills than I do,” Jane added. 

Cullen leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Fine,” he mumbled, clearly put out by the situation. “But I need all your notes and recommendations ahead of time,” he directed. 

Jane nodded in agreement. “Of course. I’ll start putting them together for you this morning.” She glanced down at her half drunk cup of coffee and sighed. She really didn’t like black coffee. “Actually. Let me go do that now. I’ll see you later,” she said getting up. 

Cullen and Max watched her leave, noticing people turn to watch her as she walked. The Commander sighed heavily.

“I should go check in on the troops,” he said. It felt strange for him to say that. He hadn’t picked up a sword in three months and he felt anxious. He wouldn’t admit it to the Inquisitor, but he’d been putting it off, but if they were leaving in two days there was no avoiding it now. 

He drained his cup of coffee and got up from the table. 

“Cullen,” Max said. Cullen turned to look at him. He noticed the strain on the Inquisitor’s face, the worry. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. 

Cullen wanted to smile. To say he was glad too, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead he nodded. “Of course,” he said. “Whatever you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this chapter for some reason. I kind of had it mapped out in my head, and I have ideas for the upcoming chapters, but I've rewritten sections of this quite a few times and eventually decided to just let it go. 
> 
> I've also been replaying Origins, so I have another AU fic with Zevran as the focus called As The Crow Flies if you're keen on checking that out. I've enjoyed writing a modern take on that story as well. 
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, constructive criticism welcome :) Thanks for reading.


	19. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen begins training again as the Inquisition prepares to head to the Arbor Wilds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read this fic! It makes me happy to see it's gotten over 2000 hits!

Jane was sitting at Cullen’s desk, trying to scribble notes for him about the Arbor Wilds. She cursed that in all her preparation to come to Thedas, she hadn’t thought about a pen. What the actual fuck was up with using a quill? How did people write like this? The parchment she’d used was a mess of ink blotches, her fingers had black marks all over them, and if she’d thought her writing was messy before, it was practically illegible now. 

She was muttering to herself in frustration when she heard the door open and she looked up, shielding her eyes as the light momentarily blinded her. 

“What happened to your hands?” the Commander asked her. He had returned to his office to collect his armour and sword so he could go drill the troops. 

As her eyes adjusted to the light she raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What happened to your hair!?” she retorted. 

Cullen blushed. “I had it cut,” he replied, a little self consciously. “It was like this when you first met me you know.” 

“I, um, yeah… but I mean…” She backpedalled. “I’ve just gotten used to it being longer,” she smiled. “It looks nice. Very… military.” 

He frowned. “You didn’t answer my question. Why do your hands look like that?”

Jane blushed and mumbled something unintelligible. 

“What?” he asked, walking towards her. 

She huffed a sigh irritably. “I’ve never written with a quill!” she said in exasperation. 

Cullen blinked in surprise, and glanced down at his desk. He promptly burst into laughter, as he took note of the ink stains everywhere. The fact that the writing was difficult to decipher only made him laugh harder, until he was doubled over, with tears streaming from his eyes. 

Jane crossed her arms in irritation, a scowl on her face. “I didn’t think to bring a pen with me,” she said crossly. 

When Cullen could eventually breathe again he perched on the edge of the desk, a grin on his face.

“You didn’t have to laugh quite that hard, you know,” she said grumpily. 

“Yes I did,” he chuckled, and reached out a hand for her. She glared at him for a second before getting up and taking it. He pulled her into a hug. “Jane,” he said, “you thought of practically everything else. Who would have thought that a pen would be the thing that thwarted you?” 

She sighed and a smile twitched on her lips. “I suppose,” she sighed. She looked down at her hands. “What a mess,” she grumbled. 

“How about I get someone to transcribe it for you?” he said. “I don’t want to spread your knowledge around too much, but there are a few people I know can be trusted to keep quiet.” 

She rolled her eyes, but nodded in agreement. “I suppose that would be better than whatever is going on over there,” she replied. 

She looked up at him and reached out to touch his hair, a small frown line between her eyebrows. He jerked away from her. “You’re not touching me with those hands!” he laughed. She stuck out her tongue at him. 

“There’s water over there,” he said gesturing to a water basin on the other side of the room. “It won’t get all the ink stains off, but it should help.” As she moved to go wash her hands, he climbed the ladder to his bedroom and she heard him moving around, clearly rummaging through some of the chests. He descended a few minutes later dressed in leather breeches, a white, linen shirt and boots. 

He looked so… Fereldan, that her face broke into a grin. She whistled. “Well, look at you,” she grinned. “I haven’t seen you dressed like this since the first time I met you. Combined with the haircut, you almost look like the Commander of the Inquisition forces...”

Cullen rolled his eyes as he walked over to his armour stand, but he was smiling. “Amazing. You know, I actually do have a similar title?” 

She watched him put his armour on, marvelling at the fact that she always forgot how strong he must be. To walk around in heavy armour like that, and do it while swinging a sword? She doubted many men on Earth would be able to say the same, and yet here it was quite commonplace if you were a soldier. Jane shook her head. “You need some help?” she asked. He glanced at her as he put his breastplate on. “Are you planning on handing me armour you can barely lift?” he smirked. 

She shrugged. “I dunno, I meant more like doing up buckles or something. I don’t know how your armour works.” 

He chuckled. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I’ll be done in a few minutes.” He paused and thought for a second. “I was a little apprehensive, but weirdly this is quite comforting. I guess we’ll see when I actually have to swing a sword again on the training field.” 

She nodded but said nothing. She felt bad about refusing to go with him, but she knew she would be a liability. She remembered all the battles in the Arbor Wilds. It would be a disaster with her there, he’d just be worrying about her the whole time instead of focussing on his troops. 

He finished putting on his armor, sheathing his sword in the scabbard. “I’ll send someone up to help you transcribe everything,” he said, leaning over and kissing her on the top of her head. “Probably one of Leliana’s people.” 

And then he was gone. Jane was left alone in his office once more. She looked down at the ink stains all over her hands and sighed. These would take days to fade. She supposed she should learn to write with a quill while they were all away, or indeed ask someone to teach her to read their language. It all happened so quickly in the game, but who knew how long it would take for them to travel there and back - she had no concept of the actual, physical distance here. Muttering to herself about the lack of pens in Thedas, she settled in to wait for someone to transcribe notes for her. 

_______________________

“Lift your damn shield!” Cullen shouted. “Are you asking to be gutted?” 

The recruit looked miserable, but nodded as Cullen repositioned his own shield on his arm and approached. 

“Again,” he said, lifting his sword. Without giving him time to prepare, he took another swing, the recruit only just dodging out of the way and getting his shield up in time. “Better,” the Commander said, “but you really need to pay more attention. You won’t have the luxury of being able to breathe in between attacks.” 

He lowered his shield and stepped back, looking closely at the line of recruits, and this one in particular. He didn’t look familiar, and Cullen prided himself on knowing people’s names. 

“When did you join?” he asked. 

“About two months ago Sir. Um, Commander. Sir,” the boy, for Cullen could see he was young, stammered. 

Cullen frowned. “So you joined when I was… absent…” he said. 

The boy nodded. “Lady Cassandra and Captain Rylen have been training us, Ser.” 

“What’s your name?” the Commander asked. 

“It’s uh, Thomas, Sir,” the boy stammered. 

“Alright Thomas. Good job,” Cullen said. “Go get some water and then you can spar with one of the others after that.”

Thomas nodded and left to get some water. 

Cullen leaned his shield against a post and sheathed his sword, looking out over the training field. He had been sparring with soldiers picked at random for the past two hours, trying to gauge their readiness for battle. While he certainly would have liked them to be better trained overall - some of these soldiers were still very green - Cassandra and Rylen had done an excellent job. He closed his eyes for a second and breathed deeply. His headache was starting to flare up again and he felt the panic settle in the pit of his stomach. He’d been through what he hoped was the worst of the withdrawal before he even left Thedas, but his anxiety sat just below the surface, hoping the headaches and nausea wouldn’t resurface. 

“Commander Cullen,” a familiar voice said just behind him. He opened his eyes and turned to see Cassandra standing at his elbow. “Are you satisfied with the readiness of the Inquisition forces?” 

Cassandra’s voice betrayed nothing, but Cullen had known her long enough to detect the tension in her stance. She wanted to know if he approved. He smiled. “They’re not as ready as I would like for battle, but that’s through no fault of yours Cassandra. You and Rylen have done well.”

He saw her exhale slightly in relief, but she merely nodded. “How do you feel?” she asked.

Cullen smiled slightly. “Fine. A little tired, I haven’t used my sword in months, so I’m certain my muscles will be sore tomorrow, but I haven’t forgotten how to fight,” he chuckled. “I have what Jane would call muscle memory. My body has done it for so long that it knows what to do.”

“I’m pleased to hear it,” Cassandra replied, “but that’s not what I meant.” 

Cullen glanced at her. “You’re talking about my lyrium withdrawal,” he said matter of factly. He looked back towards the training ground, listening to the clash of swords, the shouts of his lieutenants as they drilled the men.

Cassandra shifted uncomfortably but didn’t back down. “Yes,” she said. “I need to know how you’re feeling.” 

“I have a slight headache today,” he said softly, “but I’m uncertain as to whether it’s related.” He shrugged, his armour creaking with the movement. “I feel anxious about the symptoms, but I’m not struggling at the moment.” He looked at her again. “Was it you or Jane that removed my lyrium kit from my drawer?” he asked. 

Cassandra’s expression became curiously blank. “It was me,” she said. Cullen narrowed his eyes. “But she asked you to,” he said. It wasn’t a question. 

She nodded ever so slightly. 

He turned away. “Good. I don’t need the reminder. I’ve lived for so many months without the option, I don’t want anything which might tempt me.” He sighed. “I used to keep it as a reminder you know, of why I needed to be strong, but if I think back it was maybe more so that I could always just have it there as an option.” He shook his head. “To test myself.” 

Cassandra reached out and gripped Cullen’s shoulder. “You’ve been tested enough Cullen. Take this as a sign from Andraste, you are more than worthy.” 

_________________________

Cullen made his way back to his office a few hours later, lost in thoughts of troop deployments and which of the soldiers he’d put on the front line and which he’d keep back to defend the camp. 

It was late afternoon, and the shadows were getting long as he walked towards his office. He paused, slightly confused. He could hear music, and it definitely wasn’t music from Thedas. He quickened his step, and frowning, opened the door to see Jane and Dorian laughing, glasses of wine in hand. Clearly the two of them had become fast friends since she arrived. Cullen raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

The pair turned towards him and Jane turned down the music, which was blaring from a small speaker sitting on his desk. 

“Hey,” she said. “Everything go ok?” 

Cullen blinked. “Um, yes, fine.” He frowned. “You brought a speaker?” 

Jane laughed. “Of course. Everyone needs music, and you should know that about me by now.” 

“Jane,” he said, “you can’t just go around letting everyone know…”

Dorian interrupted. “I beg your pardon Commander, but even if they don’t know the details, Jane is clearly not from Thedas, and you’ve both been wearing attire that is distinctly… different,” he finished. “I seriously doubt a bit of music being played in your office, even if it is louder than anticipated, will make that much difference.” 

Cullen glared at him. “Dorian…” he said. 

“I can turn it down if it will make you feel better?” she grinned. “But then you won’t be able to drown out my tone deaf singing along…” 

Even Cullen had to smile at that. “You’re not completely tone deaf,” he said, his scarred lip quirking up as he tried not to laugh. “Only on the high notes…” 

Dorian laughed as Jane shrugged. “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true,” she said. “Wine?” 

Cullen shook his head in frustration, but he was laughing and Jane knew he wasn’t really angry with her. “I need to get out of my armour first, but yes please.” He walked over to his armour stand and began to remove each piece. Once everything sat neatly in its place, he walked over to the basin of water, pulling his shirt over his head, dipping a cloth in water and wiping the sweat from his body. He remembered hot showers on Earth and felt a moment’s regret. He would need to go speak to Dagna and figure out if something like that was possible here. He would clean himself properly later, but for now this would need to do. 

He finished up and turned around to find Dorian and Jane staring at him. “What?” he asked, and then just as suddenly realised he had no shirt on. While he didn’t feel uncomfortable around Jane, he certainly hadn’t taken his shirt off in front of Dorian before. He blushed, which just made Jane grin and he hurried up the ladder to go put a shirt on, hearing the two of them break into laughter as he disappeared into the bedroom. 

He found a shirt in one of his clothing trunks and pulled it on, lamenting the fact that he would likely need to return to the Fereldan style of dress. It just wasn’t as comfortable, he thought, but figured he didn’t have much option. 

Climbing back down the ladder, he saw an extra glass of wine sitting on his desk waiting for him. 

Picking it up, he smiled at Jane as he sat down in a vacant chair. “So,” he began, taking a sip. “Did you manage to get everything transcribed?”

Jane nodded. “Thanks to Dorian,” she replied, gesturing to the mage who inclined his head. 

“Oh,” Cullen said in surprise. “I thought Leliana would send one of her scouts.” Realising it might come across like he didn’t trust the mage, he backtracked. “I mean, not that it’s a problem, I just didn’t expect…”

Dorian waved away the apology. “Not to worry Commander. I suspect Leliana asked me in order to minimise the spread of information, and I already knew some of the circumstances.” He glanced at Jane’s hands in horror. “Besides, once I saw her hands, I knew there was no way I could leave the poor girl to her own devices.” 

“I told you!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never used a quill before!”

“We will need to work on your penmanship when I return my dear,” the mage said patting her hand but he was smirking at her. 

The three of them spent the next few hours talking about everything from technology on Earth, to magic in Tevinter. Cullen was reluctant to talk about his time in Kinloch and Kirkwall, especially in front of the mage, but he comfortably spoke about his youth and time training as a templar, including the fact that he and King Alistair had briefly trained together before he had been conscripted into the Wardens. 

They had food sent up, and Dorian retrieved another bottle of wine from his stash. Eventually, as the candles burned low, the mage bade them goodnight and returned to his chambers. 

Cullen, exhausted from a full of training troops, curled around Jane and fell asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. 

____________________

The air was crisp and Jane shivered, even in her warm coat. She stood on the battlements, looking out over the courtyard as the Inquisition prepared to move out. They were taking their full contingent of forces, calling in favours from all parties they had assisted over the last few months, and the people remaining at Skyhold would be minimal. 

Leliana and Josephine had organised not only a tailor to make some clothes more suitable for Thedas for her, but in Leliana’s case she’d appointed one of her scouts to stay behind and begin some basic weapons training with Jane. Once Jane had raised her concerns about not being able to read their written language, Josephine had also asked one of the older scribes who couldn’t travel with them, to begin to teach Jane to read.

She heard a sound behind her and turned, seeing Cullen approaching. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I wish you were coming with me,” he murmured into her ear. 

She squeezed his hand. “I know, but you would just spend all your time worrying about me,” she replied. “Be safe. And come back to me.” 

He turned her towards him. “You know I will,” he smiled but he saw her eyes shimmer. She wiped at them and let out a shaky laugh. “I know. I just worry anyway. It’s silly.” 

“Never silly,” he said. He leaned in and kissed her softly. Jane wrapped her arms around him, his armour hard and cold, and wished she could feel his skin against hers. 

Pulling back reluctantly, he said, “I have to go.” 

She nodded, trying to smile. “Go. I’ll be fine. Remember to give Max all the options on what to expect.” 

“I will,” he replied. “Jane, I love you.” 

She smiled at him, a genuine one this time. “I love you too. Be safe.” 

Cullen made his way into the courtyard, and as they mounted up and rode out he raised his eyes to the battlements, raising a hand in farewell as he rode out, Max at his side, at the head of the Inquisition forces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, constructive criticism etc always welcome. 
> 
> I have a couple of other DA fics in the works as well (Triangle and As the Crow Flies), so check those out if you're interested :)


	20. Burgers with Barris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane has some lessons while the Inquisition are away, and meets a surprising new guest of Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll discuss the surprises and most definitely off-canon (I mean, the whole story really, but you know what I mean), in the endnotes!

Jane woke to silence. Silence so deafening that she felt a tendril of panic claw its way into her chest. Bolting upright, it took her a second to realise she could actually hear, and to realise that Skyhold was just really quiet. 

She had spent the remainder of the previous day trying to get used to having time on her hands with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Anyone she actually knew had gone with the Inquisition to the Wilds and those that remained were suspicious of the stranger in their midst. 

She’d ended up back in Cullen’s quarters, making sure all her solar batteries were charged, and had briefly considered booting up her laptop to play through Dragon Age, but couldn’t face it. She’d thought she was so smart and had planned everything, but instead, she just felt overwhelmed. Without Cullen there, reminding her why she’d gone with him, she spent her time obsessing over what people must have thought happened to her. 

Her parents were both dead and she had no siblings so there was no family to speak of. Since both she and Cullen had disappeared together, she’d told her friends that she’d taken all the leave owing to her because otherwise she’d lose it, and they’d gone on a road trip. She wasn’t quite sure how long they’d buy it, but Adam had promised to cover for her for a while at least. 

She had taken her leave from work, citing the need to look after a sick relative, and she was taking all her accumulated leave - well over a month - to do so. They hadn’t been happy, but it made sense if she wanted to be able to put it in quickly as opposed to getting it approved in advance. 

She had savings so her bills were all paid in advance for a few months, and since her salary was still going in, for the time being, there shouldn’t be a problem. 

Even so, she felt bad for not confiding in Freida at least. She was her closest friend, but she knew she’d have berated her for wanting to follow a guy she had only known for a couple of months anywhere, let alone to a whole other world if she even believed her. Adam had been reluctant to believe Cullen wasn’t just delusional, and it had taken a lot of convincing for him to come around.

Jane shivered and pulled the covers a little tighter around her. Cullen had been talking about getting the hole in the roof fixed and she hoped that would happen soon. It was cold in Skyhold. She knew she had an appointment in the morning with the scribe Josephine had assigned to her, so she forced herself out of bed, washed in the basin with cold water and soap, not wanting to make her way to the public baths right now, then dressed in her warmest clothes. The tailor had taken all her measurements, but everything would take a while to make. 

She made her way through Skyhold, which was eerily empty as if she’d forgotten to be in a meeting. She knocked tentatively on Josephine’s door. She’d been told the scribe would meet her there as it was the easiest and most central point. Pushing open the door, she walked down the short corridor and poked her head into the ambassador’s office. 

An old elven man sat at a table that had been placed near the fire. He looked up as she walked in. 

“You’re late,” he said. 

Jane was a bit taken aback. “Oh, um, I’m sorry. I wasn’t told what time to arrive, just in the morning....” she began. 

The scribe waved away her apology. “Never mind that, let’s get on with it.” He gestured to the chair opposite him and she sat obediently. “Did you bring quill and parchment?” he asked, looking at her empty hands. 

Jane blushed. “Uh, no,” she said. The scribe pursed his lips but merely slid some over towards her. She felt like she’d failed a test.

“So, apparently you can’t read?” he said. 

“Oh, well I mean I can read where I’m from, I just can’t read the writing in Thedas…” she trailed off. She grimaced. “Ok, so no, I can’t read.” 

“Well let’s start at the beginning,” he said. “You can speak the language so that’s a start.” 

Over the next few hours, the scribe, whose name was Feynran, taught Jane the equivalent of the alphabet in Thedas as if she were a child. Although she privately felt it was a great deal more complicated, being based more on runes than anything else, she followed along patiently as Feynran made her write everything down as they went. He was horrified by her awful penmanship and after he’d been through the basics of their written language, insisted on spending an additional hour teaching her how to hold and use a quill. 

By the time they had finished - Feynran insisted on another lesson the following morning - Jane felt like she’d been in university classes all day. She remembered feeling like this after a particularly intense double lecture and as she’d skipped breakfast, she was starting to feel hangry. Even though it wasn’t quite lunchtime, she would kill for a burger right about now, she thought to herself. She paused, wondering why that wouldn’t be possible? The kitchens wouldn’t be under a huge amount of pressure right now, with everyone away, surely there must still be a cook or two around for her to discuss the making of a burger?

With this in mind, she tried to remember the layout of the castle and where the kitchens were. If she remembered correctly, she thought she could get there via the stable area. Dennet wouldn’t be there for her to ask, but there must be a stablehand or someone around. 

Daydreaming about a burger, she made her way to the stables, still uncomfortable with how empty the keep was. She missed talking to people and would have loved to be complaining to Dorian about her lesson with Feynran. 

Lost in her thoughts of food, she hurried down the stairs and crossed the courtyard towards the stables. As she rounded the corner, she crashed into someone and looked up in surprise. A handsome, dark-skinned man reached out to steady her. He wasn’t dressed in armour, but he was certainly built like a warrior. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she stammered, then did a bit of a double-take. “Barris!” she exclaimed. 

He looked confused. “I’m sorry, do we know each other?” he asked. “My apologies if we’ve met before.” He smiled. “But I think I would remember you…” 

Jane was flabbergasted. Max had recruited the mages, not the templars, there’s no way Barris should be here. She took a breath. This was something she would have to figure out. “Oh, no, sorry, we haven’t met, I’m Jane. It’s… um, complicated. I’m here with Cullen. The Commander I mean. Commander Cullen.” 

Barris nodded, a bit disappointed. Of course she was here with Cullen. Although to be honest he’d always known Cullen to be rather awkward around women, so maybe she just meant she had arrived with Cullen, not that she was with Cullen. He didn’t know the particulars, having only arrived in Skyhold the previous night, but he knew the Commander had been absent for a period of time and had now returned. Barris wasn’t surprised he hadn’t been told, given the circumstances. 

“Well,” he began, “Since you know me, but I don’t know you, this would be an ideal opportunity to make a new friend, don’t you think?” Barris smiled at her and Jane felt herself blush. 

“Why aren’t you with the rest of the Inquisition forces?” she asked. 

Barris grimaced. “I was injured recently and was recovering elsewhere,” he replied. “I wasn’t deemed fit for duty as yet, and I only arrived at Skyhold this morning.” 

“I… have so many questions…” Jane muttered, more to herself than to him, and the templar looked at her curiously. She grinned and looked up at him. “Fancy a bite to eat? I was just on my way to raid the kitchen.”

He chuckled and stepped back, gesturing for her to lead the way. Jane studied him out of the corner of her eye. She noticed he walked with a slight limp, clearly favouring his leg, but seemed otherwise healthy. She supposed warriors needed to be on their game, so it wouldn’t have made sense to send a good warrior back into battle so soon after an injury. He didn’t appear to be infected by red lyrium, but why was he here if the templars were with Corypheus? She’d never have picked Barris for a spy. 

“So why exactly are we going to the kitchens and not just to the dining hall?” he asked curiously. 

Jane grinned. “Because I’m going to ask the cooks to make me a special meal,” she said. “Or at least try to. I don’t know if they will but there are so few people here at the moment that I figured now was the best time to give it a shot.” 

Barris noticed her curious way of speaking and accent, but he couldn’t place it. “So what is this meal?” he asked. 

“It’s called a hamburger, although there’s no ham in it,” she laughed. “It’s basically ground beef all shaped together into a disc and then you add toppings to it and put it between a bread roll.” She glanced at him. “You’ll love it, trust me.” 

They arrived at the kitchen and Jane poked her head inside, looking around for the cook. She spotted an authoritative looking woman standing over a pot in the corner while others scurried around her. 

“Excuse me,” Jane said. “Are you the head cook?”

The woman turned to look at her, noticing the templar standing beside her. Jane waited for the woman to snap something and dismiss her, but instead, she stirred whatever was on the fire one last time before turning to them. 

“Aye, I am,” she said. “What can I do for ye?”

Jane grinned delightedly at her. “I’m Jane,” she said. “I arrived with Commander Cullen, and I was hoping I might be able to make a special meal request now there’s not as many people in the keep for you to cook for.” 

The woman looked her up and down. “What kind of meal?” she asked. 

Jane launched into an explanation of the hamburger and what would be needed while the women listened carefully. As she finished, she added, “To be honest, I’m perfectly prepared to make it myself, but I wasn’t sure you would want someone else in your kitchen, I know how particular people can be.” 

Both the cook and Barris were taken aback at the fact that Jane offered to make the food herself. Barris was a little ashamed to admit he could only cook very basic food, never having needed to do much more - either as a noble or a templar - and the cook was surprised at how astute Jane had been about the kitchen. She did indeed hate it, they never put things back in the right place. 

“I’ll make it for ye if ye’ll show me how,” she nodded, intrigued. She looked at Barris. “I suppose ye’ll be wantin’ some too?” 

He grinned and nodded and the cook smiled at the pair. She gestured to two stools at the large, wooden kitchen table. “Sit,” she said. “Ye can talk me through it.”

She gathered the ingredients, some of the other kitchen staff watching curiously as Jane directed her through it. She did have to argue as to why the meat should be a little pink on the inside and not charred, but eventually, Jane won. The cook, whose name was Hilda, made enough for four people, calling one of the undercooks to eat with them. They all looked expectantly at Jane as they presented her with the ‘burger’. 

She had to admit it looked pretty good, and she picked it up in her hands, and took a large bite, chewing thoughtfully. The flavours were slightly different to what she was used to, but it was delicious. She glanced at Barris and gestured at him. He copied her, picking it up and taking a bite. As he chewed, his eyes lit up. He swallowed and looked at her. “This is amazing!” he said, taking another bite and she grinned. 

“You did a great job Hilda, try it!” she said. Hilda and the cook both took a bite, delight showing on their faces as they chewed. 

“The best part,” Jane said, “is you can put pretty much anything on it, as long as the flavours go together. This is essentially a cheeseburger. Cheese, meat, some lettuce and tomato and a bit of sauce, although I would have used something called tomato sauce, but you don’t seem to have that here. Anyway,” she continued, “you can use chicken or plain steak as the patty, or even a mushroom, or some beans and lentils for those people who maybe don’t eat meat. Whatever you can think of, you can add to it.” She shrugged. “Bacon and cheese is my favourite,” she said, taking another bite. 

As they left, Jane thanking Hilda profusely and knowing she’d made a new friend in the kitchens, she wondered how quickly burgers would be appearing in the dining hall. 

“Thank you for including me,” Barris said to her. “That was quite the experience, and…” he hesitated, “it makes me wonder quite a few things about you.” He stopped and turned towards her. “You said you arrived with the Commander, but I don’t really know where he’s been, and how he would have ended up bringing someone back with him.” 

Jane studied him. “I need to ask you something first,” she said, “but I think maybe it would be better in a couple of armchairs somewhere more private rather than standing in the middle of the corridor.”

Barris nodded. “That’s fair,” he said. “Where do you wish to go?”

“Follow me,” Jane said. “I have just the spot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I always hated the fact that we can assume Barris essentially either dies or becomes a corrupted red templar if you recruit the mages. You never see him if the red templars are your adversaries, but I was wondering after recruiting the templars in yet another playthrough, what would have happened if the red templars simply killed everyone who refused to take the red lyrium. It makes complete sense in my head, and if Barris was left for dead, surely it would be plausible for him to join the Inquisition? He's a very moral person, and I liked the idea of including another agent of the Inquisition. The next chapter will explain a bit of his story too when I'm finished with it :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments, constructive criticism, kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions etc always welcome. :)


	21. Amazing Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane gets to know Barris and the Inquisitor and his companions arrive back through the Eluvian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry there's been such a long gap. Things have been hectic at work and I got sidetracked by a million other projects - both personal and work-related. I've had most of this chapter finished for a while, but needed to finish it up.
> 
> This is a long chapter though, which is good right? :) 
> 
> Hopefully, I'll be able to get back into writing more soon.

“Dorian is with the Inquisition, I’m sure he won’t mind if we use his spot in the library,” Jane said as she led Barris to the armchairs where the altus could usually be found. 

“It’s a little early for wine,” she smiled, “although that’s usually what I would suggest, and I can’t stand the coffee here unfortunately.” She sat, indicating the templar should take the other chair. “We’ll just have to make do with full, burger stomachs instead.”

Barris sat tentatively, studying this strange woman before him. There was something about her attitude and personality that made him want to get to know her better. “Well, firstly,” he began, “you keep calling me Barris, which of course, I understand, everyone does, but that’s not my first name.”

“Oh yes, of course,” Jane said, “I keep forgetting. It’s… Delrin? Isn’t it?” She realised as she said it, that perhaps she was giving away too much information. Leliana and Cullen hadn’t wanted her knowledge to spread around, and she needed to be careful about what she said. 

He frowned. “That’s correct… how did you…?”

“Ok, so I have a question I need to ask first before anything else,” she said, cutting him off before he could go any further. “Shit, Cullen is going to be mad at me…” she muttered, “but here goes.” She took a breath and tried to order her thoughts. “Ok, where are the rest of the templars?” she asked. “And why aren’t you with them?” 

Barris grimaced ever so slightly. “I’m going to assume you’re looking for me to confirm something you suspect,” he said, “so I’ll be honest. The templars have been corrupted. Our officers were ingesting a strange, new kind of lyrium - it was red - and began to... change them.” He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to erase the memory of his brothers’ faces, their eyes red, the veins prominent and visible under their skin. 

“When a handful of us refused to take the red lyrium being distributed, they tried to force us. We were attacked,” he said softly. “I was the only one to make it out alive.” 

Jane felt for the templar. She’d always liked his character in the game. He was honest and, like Cullen, seemed to genuinely want to help people. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “That was the injury you were referring to,” she said. It wasn’t a question, and Barris nodded. 

“When I eventually regained consciousness, the men who had stood with me were dead and the rest of the templars were all gone. I learned later… too late... they had left Therinfal Redoubt and marched on Haven, attacking the Inquisition. I was badly injured but managed to make my way to a village close to Therinfal and the villagers looked after me. I was lucky, maybe because of the proximity to Therinfal, they had a half decent healer or I may not have recovered.” He paused, ordering the events in his mind. “When I was finally able to, I sent a message to the Inquisition. To be honest I didn’t hear back and I thought they had disregarded it or perhaps thought it was a ruse, but then one of the Nightingale’s scouts showed up and brought me here.” 

Barris gestured towards his leg. “I’m mostly recovered, but my leg still needs to get stronger before I can fight in battle again. Until then, I’m more of a liability.” 

Jane nodded, thinking what the implications of this might be. Having played through the game multiple times, she’d always lamented that there wasn’t any way to save some of the templars if you sided with the mages, and while this might just be a single warrior, Barris would be an asset to an army. He was experienced and highly skilled. 

“Do you still consider yourself a part of the templars?” she asked gently. 

Barris was silent for a long time, lost in thought. Eventually he took a deep breath and said,” I just don’t know. I was sent to the templars when I was twelve - it’s all I’ve known for most of my life. I certainly don’t agree with anything they currently stand for, but I wonder…” he shook his head, “I wonder, if maybe Cullen had the right of it when he left the Order.” 

He looked so lost in that moment that Jane’s heart went out to him. Impulsively she got up and hugged him. He started in surprise before hesitantly putting his arms around her in return. This was a gesture of affection from someone he barely knew, and yet, the physical contact and empathy emanating from her broke through something in him, and he felt his throat constrict and tears prick his eyes. 

She pulled away, and Barris felt a moment’s regret. She noticed the sheen in his eyes but politely said nothing and looked away to give him a moment to compose himself. He cleared his throat. “I suppose it’s not about whether I still belong with the templars any longer,” he said. “They abandoned me when they tried to kill me. Now I don’t have any option but to choose a different path.” 

Jane frowned thoughtfully. “Sometimes change is forced upon us,” she said softly. She looked at Barris directly. “For reasons I won’t explain right now, I’m not a huge fan of the Order as a general rule,” she said, “but I do know that men like you, like Cullen, joined the templars to protect people, and to help them. If the Order is no longer doing that, then the logical choice is to pursue another path.” She shook her head. “Blind obedience is equally as dangerous as rebellion, Cullen will tell you that.” 

Barris leaned back in his chair. “You’re right, of course,” he said. “But I’m still feeling unsettled as to how you know so much, and yet… I’m definitely certain we’ve never met, and… your manner of speaking… your accent… I just can’t place any of it.” 

Jane laughed, breaking some of the tension. “Cullen will be angry with me I’m sure, but I have no doubt he and Leliana will be able to explain everything when they return. I’d tell you myself, but I don’t wish to ruin any plans they may have.” She shrugged. “Until such time, you’re just going to have to appreciate the mystery. Sometimes it’s better in our heads anyway.” 

Barris chuckled. “Fine, have it your way. In the meantime, can we at least please get to a first name basis? Only other templars called me Barris, or Ser Barris, and I find it very formal. I’m Delrin.”

Jane wrinkled her nose. “Delrin is also very formal,” she laughed. “Del it is.” 

“Del?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I think only my brother ever called me that.” 

“So there’s a precedent,” she shrugged. She looked thoughtful. “Random question. Why is it… that most of the templars are called by their last names... yet Cullen is Ser Cullen, or Commander Cullen? Why does no one ever call him Commander Rutherford?” 

Barris blinked. “I couldn’t tell you. Sometimes it’s because there is someone with the same last name and we need a way to differentiate them, although I don’t recall another Rutherford in the Order.” He chuckled. “Is there any particular reason for your question?” 

She shook her head. “Curiosity. I’ve just always wondered.” 

“Always?” he asked. “You make it sound like you’ve known Cullen for years, but that’s not possible…”

Jane’s face became suddenly blank. “Oh, yes, of course, it was just a figure of speech.”

They passed the rest of the afternoon in less serious conversation, pouring wine as the sun dropped lower on the horizon, and eventually when they decided to call it a night, Delrin Barris made his way to bed with more questions about the strange, new woman he’d met, than answers. 

__________________________

Two weeks passed. Jane’s penmanship with a quill finally became, according to Feynran, ‘passable’, although Jane had the distinct impression he meant only that it was legible, if nothing else. She was finally able to read basic words in their written script, although she constantly tried to find analogies with her own alphabet to make it work in her head. She wasn’t sure if this was the right approach, but it was instinctive for her to compare them. Feynran grudgingly admitted he was pleased with her progress even though she couldn’t read fluently, but she could manage basic words and her grasp of the way the symbols interacted was getting better. 

Weapons training had also been arranged for her, and although she certainly wasn’t any good, she could now at least hold a pair of daggers correctly and block a basic attack. Leliana’s scout was patient with her, especially since Jane’s level of fitness wasn’t anywhere near that of any of the Inquisition army’s, but it improved steadily every day, even if it was only because she was being made to run. She wasn’t as fit as Cullen, but her years of practising yoga at least held her in good stead with her range of motion using daggers. She figured she wasn’t going to be fighting in battle any time soon, so any small improvements were a win. 

She received a couple of letters from Cullen - in English, which also ensured no one else could read them - instructing her specifically not to write back as he wasn’t sure where they would be, but letting her know where they were and how everyone was doing. His letters were strangely formal, right up until the end, where he would sign it, All my love, C. It made her smile even if it was a bit weird, and she had every intention of giving him shit for it when he returned. Had he never written any personal letters before? 

She spent most evenings with Barris - no, she corrected herself - Delrin, enjoying his company and talking about inconsequential things as she dodged his questions about where she was from and her childhood - she didn’t dare give away more than necessary without the permission of the council. He had a dry sense of humour she enjoyed and they got along well. 

While she was in lessons learning to read, he spent his days regaining his strength and practicing his swordwork. She noticed his limp generally seemed more pronounced in the evenings when he’d been exercising a lot and wondered if they had anything akin to rehab here. She figured maybe healing mages did the same thing? She wasn’t really sure. 

She was on her own training with a dummy when a messenger ran up, breathless. “My lady, you’re needed in the War Room urgently!” 

Jane was tired and sweaty but she didn’t question as she sheathed her daggers and gestured for him to lead the way. She arrived to find Dorian pacing frantically.

“Dorian?” she asked. “What are you doing here?” She looked around. “Did you come through the Eluvian?” 

Dorian turned to her and she could see the panic in his eyes. 

“What’s happened?” she said, her heart beginning to thud painfully.

“Follow me,” he said curtly and swept out of the room. They hurried through the corridors, Jane realising they were making their way towards the gardens. He led her into the room she remembered housed the Eluvian. 

Morrigan turned towards them as the door opened. She was crouched over Max who lay on the stone floor. He was pale and blood stained his tunic on the right hand side. Varric and Cassandra stood to the side, their faces grim. 

“What happened?” Jane demanded, rushing to Max and feeling for his pulse. It was there but faint. “Is he still bleeding?” She began to strip away his clothes to see how bad the wound was. 

“Samson,” Varric said, his voice gruff. “We managed to use the rune Dagna crafted to damage his armour, but the Inquisitor was injured in the fight.” He grimaced. “To be honest, he didn’t say anything and we didn’t think it was that bad until he collapsed after we came through the Eluvian.”

Jane started. She’d forgotten all about that element of the mission, but it made sense. Even if Cullen wasn’t there, they still would have gone ahead with their plans and Dagna would still have reverse engineered Samson’s armour. She managed to strip away his clothing and frowned in dismay. The cut looked deep, but she was no doctor and there was no way she could help him. Her basic first aid course was up to date, but that was about it. 

“How long till the others get back?” she asked, looking around the room. She turned to Morrigan. “Can you heal him?” 

Morrigan frowned. “I’m no healer, but I could probably do something basic to stop him bleeding to death until Solas arrives. We sent word by raven as we approached the temple, they should be on their way back. No more than a few days for those at the head of the Inquisition forces.”

Jane turned to the dwarf. “Varric, send a raven and tell Solas to hurry. He must be one of the first to return.” He nodded and left the room. 

“Morrigan, do what you can to stop the bleeding and keep him alive.” 

Turning to Cassandra she said, “Seeker, please will you organise a stretcher. We need to move him as little as possible, but we can’t leave him here. We must get him somewhere warm and comfortable.”

Cassandra nodded curtly and left the room. 

Dorian hovered in the background, looking uncertain. Jane turned to him. “Dorian, help me. We need to cut strips of clean cloth to bind this wound. We can’t have it getting infected.” 

The mage rushed out to get cloth, while Morrigan began to cast a basic healing spell. Jane watched in fascination as the wound, while not closing, took on a less angry appearance. By the time Dorian had reappeared with strips of cloth, Cassandra close behind him with a stretcher, Morrigan had done all she could. 

“If I close the wound completely, we may encounter problems with the internal damage,” she said. “I’ve slowed the bleeding and removed any elements that may cause immediate infection, but he needs a mage whose magic is more suited to healing than my own.” 

Jane nodded in thanks, and she and Dorian began to bind Max’s wounds, thereafter which they settled him on the stretcher and managed to get him up to his quarters. He was dead weight, and there were a couple of tight squeezes where Jane worried they might drop him, but eventually he was settled in bed, still unconscious, but no longer bleeding quite so profusely. 

Jane looked around at the others. “You’re all exhausted,” she said. “You go, get cleaned up and get some sleep, I’ll stay with him.” She smiled at them. “I’ll call you if there’s any change, don’t worry.” 

Cassandra hesitated but eventually nodded and left. Dorian hovered anxiously. 

“Dorian,” she said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Really, it will be fine.” She noticed with a start that his eyes were wet. 

He nodded, and blinked to clear the tears. “I just… I never told him…” he said softly. “I kept thinking there would be time when we returned.” 

Jane nodded in understanding, her heart clenching painfully. “I know,” she said softly. “But you’ll have time, Dorian. He’ll pull through this.”

He swallowed, and nodded uncertainly. 

“Go get some sleep alright?” she said. “I promise I’ll call you if there’s any change.” 

He left reluctantly, his eyes on the still form of the Inquisitor as he went down the stairs. Jane heard the door at the bottom of the stairs thud shut. She found a chair and pulled it up next to Max’s bedside. She wasn’t religious, and he didn’t even believe in the same gods as her world did, so she didn’t pray but she tried to calm her mind and project positivity and white, healing light towards him as she’d once learned in a meditation class. She wasn’t sure it would do any good, but it was better than doing nothing. 

She occupied her mind by finding a book and trying to make sense of the words within. She sat and held Max’s hand as she paged through it with her other hand. The stillness of the room, combined with the rhythm of his breathing made her sleepy and setting the book aside, she kept a hold of his hand but put her head down on the side of the bed. She closed her eyes, deciding that a short nap wouldn’t hurt. 

Jane dreamed of lips, hot against her neck. Hands that trailed over her back as she struggled to open her eyes. She felt desire well within her stomach as the hands pulled her closer. Cullen’s hands. Large, calloused from years of handling a sword. Her eyes still felt as if they had weights attached to them - that awful dream where you couldn’t open your eyes. Lips still trailing kisses over her neck, working their way lower as she eventually managed to force them open. Cullen’s golden curls, still long and uncut. She smiled and reached out to brush them away from his forehead and he looked up at her, his eyes dark and glowing purple. She pulled away in fright, her heart racing as the Cullen-thing smirked and pulled her closer, a chuckle building deep in its throat. 

She awoke with a start, heart pounding unpleasantly and looked around, but nothing had changed. She ran a shaky hand over her face. She wasn’t connected to the Fade was she? She knew things worked differently with dreams and magic here, but she wasn’t a mage. No, it must have just been a bad dream. Nothing to worry about. She took some deep breaths and tried to shake off the unsettling image of Cullen’s eyes glowing purple. 

Jane had left her phone with her music on it in Cullen’s quarters. She cursed under her breath. Listening to music usually helped her relax, but she was loath to leave Max, even for a moment. Dorian would have a fit. With no alternative, she cleared her mind and began to sing softly. She wasn’t singing to Max in particular, he wouldn’t know any of her songs anyway, but at the very least it would keep her awake. She wasn’t religious, but she remembered her mother used to sing Amazing Grace to her when she was feeling sick as a child, and it had always brought her comfort. 

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound  
That saved a wretch like me.  
I once was lost, but now am found  
Was blind but now I see._

_‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,  
And grace my fears relieved.  
How precious did that grace appear,  
The hour I first believed._

_Through many dangers, toils and snares  
I have already come.  
‘Twas grace that brought me safe thus far  
And grace will lead me home._

_The Lord has promised good to me,  
His word my hope secures  
He will my shield and portion be,  
As long as hope endures._

_Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,  
And mortal life shall cease,  
I shall possess within the veil,  
A life of joy and peace._

_When we’ve been there ten thousand years,  
Bright shining as the sun,  
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise  
Than when we first begun._

She finished the hymn and paused to think what to sing next. 

“Don’t stop,” a soft, croaky voice said. Jane turned and saw Max looking at her through lidded eyes. He was still pale but at least he was alert. 

“Hey,” she said. “You’re awake.” 

He grimaced. “Are you sure I haven’t crossed into the afterlife?” he said. “I feel pretty awful.” 

Jane patted his hand. “You’re definitely with us, but you need to stay still and rest. You’ve been quite badly injured. We’ve sent word to Solas to return as soon as possible and Morrigan did a very basic job, but she’s not really a healer. Dorian even less so.”

He nodded ever so slightly. “What were you singing?” he asked. 

“Oh, it’s called Amazing Grace,” she said. “It’s a hymn people sing in church where I’m from. Kind of like… uh, The Dawn Will Come, I think.”

“Church?”

“Oh, like the Chantry I guess. Similar anyway.” 

He nodded ever so slightly. “It’s nice.” He closed his eyes, grimacing in pain as he tried to shift his weight slightly. 

“I’m not really religious so I don’t really know a huge number of hymns, but I can sing something else to you if you’d like?” she said. 

“Yes please,” he said softly. She could see he was drifting back to sleep and tried to think of something she loved to sing. The only thing that popped into her head was American Pie. 

_A long, long time ago  
I can still remember  
How that music used to make me smile.  
And I knew if I had my chance,  
That I could make those people dance,  
And maybe they’d be happy for a while._

_But February made me shiver  
With every paper I’d deliver  
Bad news on the doorstep  
I couldn’t take one more step.  
I can’t remember if I cried,  
When I read about his widowed bride.  
But something touched me deep inside,  
The day, the music died. _

_So bye-bye Miss American Pie  
Drove my Chevy to the levee  
But the levee was dry.  
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye  
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die  
This’ll be the day that I die._

A slight noise behind her and she turned to see Dorian. She glanced back at Max, whose breathing was deep and regular. He was asleep once again. 

“Hey.” She got up, noticing for the first time that her butt was numb from sitting in one spot. 

“Did he wake up?” he asked. 

“Briefly,” she nodded. “He’s asleep again. Did the message go out?” 

“Yes. I don’t know how long it will take before he gets here.”

“Hopefully soon, we must just stay positive, ok?”

He nodded, chewing his lip anxiously. 

“Dorian,” she said, putting her hand on his arm. He looked at her, his eyes filled with fear and pain. “He’ll pull through. I have every confidence.”

“Do you know for sure?” he asked urgently. 

“No, I don’t, but none of this happened in our story. Max goes on to defeat Corypheus and save Thedas. I have no reason to think this might end differently.”

He nodded again, saying nothing. 

“You know, I could really do with something to eat,” she said. “Would you sit with him for a bit?”

Dorian looked relieved to be asked. It gave him something to do and an excuse to stay close to him. “Of course,” he said. “I’m happy to give you a break.” 

“Can I get you anything?”

“Quite alright, you take your time,” he said softly. 

She gave him a hug, holding him tightly for a moment before giving him some time alone with the Inquisitor. As she opened the door, she glanced back to see Dorian holding Max’s hand, his head down, praying to gods he didn’t believe in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing Grace - John Newton
> 
> American Pie - Songwriters: Don McLean  
American Pie, Pt. 1 lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group


End file.
